A new understanding

[Darkest Diamond]

Hi everyone,
During the last three months have struggled to stop, but have wanted to stop drinking more than ever as it was making me so sad, frightened, depressed and physically feeling wretched.

During this period of time I have had a few sober days and weeks here and there. Looking back on these days they have been so much better than the drinking eves or drinking weekends. Even if I have a tough day sober it is better than any drinking time.

Friday night was horrendous for me in that I drank loads as soon as I got in from work. I finished it off around 7.00/8.00am Saturday morning. Since then I am proud to say I have had no booze. Relieved also to say no significant withdrawals apart from feeling very weak and sick and slightly shaky up until about lunchtime on Saturday. No big muscle twitches or spasms or heart racing or sweats (usually get all of these!)

Last night I slept so well it was wonderful.

Feel great hope as I can see that during the sober times I always achieve more, am happier, healthier, more attractive and I like myself. During the drinking times I loathe myself, my fear levels go off the scale and I feel everything is spiralling out of control.

I know I am stating the obvious but I have never really deeply seen and understood it with as much clarity as I am right now.......onwards and upwards !

[broken halo]

A new understanding

I am so glad you are feeling so positive DD. You never need to go back to being that frightened, sad, depressed feeling.

Life without AL is not perfect, but it is infinitely better than with it! :l

[lifechange]

A new understanding

Hey DD, it sounds like you know what you want! A lot of us did exactly what you're describing-- waiting for the perfect day (tomorrow!) to start. In the end, I also knew that there was no way I could ever mod--I'd finally stopped lying to myself about that-- and I knew that for my life, I had to quit forever, and I was scared of that. So I made every night my last and really did it up until I thought I might die. That was enough and I read here and made the decision that the best time is NOW! Not tomorrow, not after this or that holiday or occasion. It's just been 15 days since I made that decision (and when I made it, I did it just for the day. one day at a time) and I'm feeling stronger everyday. I know I've made the right decision-- and everything you said you want to have in your life, you can have without the struggle and stress and insecurity and heartbreak that comes with drinking.
Have you been over to the Nest? I can't remember if I've seen you there-- if not, please join us! Look forward to seeing more of you.

[Softy]

A new understanding

DD you are on the same road as me. Work caused me to seek solace in the booze. Let's do this together. You will never regret it nor will you ever feel better. This place is essential. Stay with it. Day 7 next weekend. I will be here to cheer you over the line.

[MossRose]

A new understanding

DD - so glad to see you back. You sound determined and strong. We've talked in the past about how bad our anxiety gets while drinking. It's such an awful feeling. So, just keep thinking about that peaceful, tranquil AF life that is waiting for you. You've taken the first step, and that's always the hardest one. We're going to do this together. I'm right by your side, friend.