Hello

[sawitcoming]

:new:
So, i posted earlier and I see that i have something on my post that looks like it might be set for no reply or something?
Anyway, just wondering if I posted correctly or not?

Thanks for any help.

[little beagle]

Hello

Looks good. Tell us about yourself.

[available]

Hello

Hi Sawit, there are so many people on and off here it is hard to keep track. Welcome and you are in a great place. I did look back and your post was there!

Why are you disgusted in yourself? I think we have all been there and done that and have a badge but dont really want the badge anymore. I would love to give back all the horrible things i have done drunk but just have to move on and you are in the best place. Newbies nest is a good place to post albeit it hard to keep up with sometimes.

Good luck x

[sawitcoming]

Hello

Ok. Thanks I wasn't sure if I did something wrong. Anyway. Disgusted I guess because I know better. Also that I really want a life without the partying but I am not sure it can happen and stay married. I appreciate the replies. I am trying to look forward but still just questioning whether I did something wrong that night or just dreaming it up. Hard to say when both u and ur husband can't remember. I have one person I could ask but I don't want to bore him with my brooding and it wouldn't matter outside of being able to give an apology I guess

Oh well. These were people that I really liked they were very noce and I had hoped to see them again. Doubting that is going to happen now. Oh well.

[available]

Hello

I remember thinking when i read your post Sawit that i did not know how to reply. If i was in the same situation i would go into avoidance mode and feel ashamed and regretful then after awhile send a text but normally i would be pissed again by then so did not care or think i did not care. If they were really nice then try some AF days and see how you still feel.

When you said "oh well", i had that same attitude when really i thought "f**k i've done it again". You can try a text and see if you get a reply i suppose and go from there. Does hubs want to stop drinking also as that would help you immensely. Ultimately it is your decision on where you want to be in years to come. Like many of us we have wasted years and years giving in to AL and its not worth it at all.

My kids are so impressed in how much happier i am and how much more settled in myself. It can only get better.

[MossRose]

Hello

Hi Sawit and welcome. Very glad you are here. I read your other post before you deleted it so I hope you don't mind if I refer to it. First off - it is important. You obviously were concerned enough to come here and post for advice and support. I have done the exact same thing in the past...posted and then had second thoughts and deleted my post. I only hope in time, you will learn to trust us enough to let us try to help

Anyway, I can't say for sure what might have happened, but I have had enough similar experiences in my life to safely assume it was AL related. Hope you don't mind if I ask a couple questions. How did this affect your husband? Is he concerned at all? I was just curious because you mentioned work people being there, and I didn't know if that was a critical part of the story or not. Anyway, if you don't want to revisit this, I totally understand. But if you feel like talking, I am more than willing to listen, as I'm sure others are too.

Hang in there, okay?

[sawitcoming]

Hello

Thanks for replying. I deleted because I felt insecure. I have a problem with that.
Yes, there were my husbands work people there. They are actually like clients in a way of his. My husband has talked to one of the people since and they seem to act asif they had a great time. Even sending videos of the night. If they did witness my little freak out on the rude lady they aren't saying. In a way I guess I am giving myself a break on that a little bit because I can't say that I wouldn't have reacted to her if sober. She was being pretty rude. I just would have handled it less aggressively probably.
As far as my husband. I think he is so worried about not being able to drink that he will ok whatever I do if drunk.
That is the difference between him and I. I tend to only have things go that out of control once in a blue moon and I honestly feel that this episode had more to do with state of mind prior to drinking and lack of food and it was a very hot day where I had been int he sun most of. So, bad combination.
My problem is that I really liked these people and wanted to really hit it off with them and I was being pretty stupid that night. Now, that is my opinion. It could be that they didn't feel that way.
Anyway, my husband has to see them today so we will find out if I did in fact make a real ass out of myself in front of them or if they were just done with the night and left early for that reason.

AFter rereading this and wanting to be completely honest. I wonder why I am so worried about this night, when it was my husband who was practically being carried back from the concert. He couldn't even talk practically and one of the other guys with us made him go to bed as soon as security descended upon us. Why does this bother me more than him?

[Samstone]

Hello

Sawit

greetings! I did not see your 1st post so I don't know the particulars and I don't really need to.... the thing is if you feel there's something wrong with alcohol in your life, then usually you're right.

I suggest you do an assessment of your drinking and go from there. Figure out what you want and do it.
Typically, moderating does not work for many of us here, but there are some that do. I don't know how successful as I don't really follow that.

hope to see you around in the posts.

Sam

[sawitcoming]

Hello

Thanks. I feel that I do need to reassess things. My biggest worry is that my husband is far more in denial than I am and has been our entire relationship looking back. Anyway he will be home tonight and will know more then if we are going to make some changes in our lives. Thanks for the support.

[Byrdlady]

Hello

Sawit...
As they say on the airplanes....Secure your oxygen mask first before assisting others.
That is to say, that all we can do is fix ourselves. Here is the acid test. Try going 30 days alcohol free. If you sail thru that time with no ill affects, then by gosh, you are one of the lucky ones! But if you find yourself watching the clock and making deals with your self that you weren't that bad and what you did was just in the heat of the moment and no matter what you do you can't string together those 30 days....well, you might be one of us. This is not bad news! This is good! There is LIFE after AL and it's good.....dam, it's much better as a matter of fact. I'm in the corporate world myself and used this as an excuse to keep the madness going. Truth is, nobody cares that you drink with them, (unless they have a problem too). Give the 30 day test a try....it is very eye opening.
Also, come join us in the Newbie's nest, we have folks in all stages of quitting....then take a trip thru the Tool Box...both links are below. If you are like most of us, you'll see a lot more of yourself in the stories of guilt/shame/remorse than you might want to admit even to yourself.
We can help! We're glad you found us! Don't let the FEAR of quitting get in the way of your doing it! It's not nearly as hard as I thought it would be!!! Welcome! Byrdie