Hi guys .. I know I posted this in the Nest but I think I would have made its own thread if I knew how it was going to turn out. It might be better served in its own thread as others might relate which would keep the context in one place. By no means is this an ego thing.
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So after a day dedicated to digging out the stack of bills, trimming expenses that I not longer need ( could have been saving over 50 bucks a month and didnt even know it ) taking the boys to soccer practice and finally eating more than usual I have found my perch to watch day 10 fade into the sunset.
Some things that I would like to recognize at this point.
1. I have just about exhausted my "time consuming projects" around the house. Aside from washing the ceiling and the blinds yet...I have really nothing to do at home anymore. Literally everything that can be done is done. My home is no longer recognizable compared to only a week ago. I can foresee this being a Major problem in the Very Near future. With nothing to do I know Al will pull out some new tricks to use on me. I need a remedy..hey I have an Idea..how about a JOB ! .. which brings us to #2...
2. By end of October I will have expended most of my savings. I have intentionally been keeping away from finding a job. I have NO regrets about this. I Know that going dry+personal was hard enough..add working in the mix would have been impossible. There was just no other option for me this past week and a half. I am going to have to be xtra vigilant in keeping AL at bay here in the next week or so. I repair boats professionally. I am around boats and the people that own boats. As you are all aware that Boats=party fun time. More than enough drink to fill up a small lake in fact. So careful must I be ..
3. Complacency is growing day by day...I have to be extra careful on this front. I know that for me complacency breeds confidence/cockiness and that is Not something that I want to befriend right now. I do not want or wish my guard to be lowered one bit. That would be a very dangerous move for me as I have already been completely blindsided from my ol' Nemesis in many different ways and forms.
4. I can not have grandiose expectations on what my newly AF life will bring me. In the course of my sobriety I have had my share of overwhelming emotional joy and empowerment. This, I know, is not going to be the foundation of my new life. I have thus concluded that these emotions and feelings were my mind balancing itself out...just like my body did chemically and physically. This ties into #5 ..
5. My AF life is going to be just how its supposed to be. I dont know exactly what life that is yet but I am looking forward to it and quite excited to find out . I also realize that my new AF life will come with a new set of "life skills". Skills that I will need to learn how to use..hone..perfect for the betterment of not only my own life but those of my childrens life. Therefore this single outcome alone is enough motivation and reason for me to quit drinking.
6. The reasons and responsibility for choosing the removal of alcohol from my life is Mine and Mine alone. The ramifications of this choice will directly affect and impact the lives, hopes and dreams of my children. I realize they do not have a choice in this...I must make if for them through choice of my own. I have no choice but to choose this AF life. There is no alternative.
Sorry for the long post.
You are the best group of human beings I have ever known. Be it 10 years,10 months.10 days, 1 day or just hoping I want you realize that You All Truly are amazing people.
Best wishes and to you guys ..
David
----
So after a day dedicated to digging out the stack of bills, trimming expenses that I not longer need ( could have been saving over 50 bucks a month and didnt even know it ) taking the boys to soccer practice and finally eating more than usual I have found my perch to watch day 10 fade into the sunset.
Some things that I would like to recognize at this point.
1. I have just about exhausted my "time consuming projects" around the house. Aside from washing the ceiling and the blinds yet...I have really nothing to do at home anymore. Literally everything that can be done is done. My home is no longer recognizable compared to only a week ago. I can foresee this being a Major problem in the Very Near future. With nothing to do I know Al will pull out some new tricks to use on me. I need a remedy..hey I have an Idea..how about a JOB ! .. which brings us to #2...
2. By end of October I will have expended most of my savings. I have intentionally been keeping away from finding a job. I have NO regrets about this. I Know that going dry+personal was hard enough..add working in the mix would have been impossible. There was just no other option for me this past week and a half. I am going to have to be xtra vigilant in keeping AL at bay here in the next week or so. I repair boats professionally. I am around boats and the people that own boats. As you are all aware that Boats=party fun time. More than enough drink to fill up a small lake in fact. So careful must I be ..
3. Complacency is growing day by day...I have to be extra careful on this front. I know that for me complacency breeds confidence/cockiness and that is Not something that I want to befriend right now. I do not want or wish my guard to be lowered one bit. That would be a very dangerous move for me as I have already been completely blindsided from my ol' Nemesis in many different ways and forms.
4. I can not have grandiose expectations on what my newly AF life will bring me. In the course of my sobriety I have had my share of overwhelming emotional joy and empowerment. This, I know, is not going to be the foundation of my new life. I have thus concluded that these emotions and feelings were my mind balancing itself out...just like my body did chemically and physically. This ties into #5 ..
5. My AF life is going to be just how its supposed to be. I dont know exactly what life that is yet but I am looking forward to it and quite excited to find out . I also realize that my new AF life will come with a new set of "life skills". Skills that I will need to learn how to use..hone..perfect for the betterment of not only my own life but those of my childrens life. Therefore this single outcome alone is enough motivation and reason for me to quit drinking.
6. The reasons and responsibility for choosing the removal of alcohol from my life is Mine and Mine alone. The ramifications of this choice will directly affect and impact the lives, hopes and dreams of my children. I realize they do not have a choice in this...I must make if for them through choice of my own. I have no choice but to choose this AF life. There is no alternative.
Sorry for the long post.
You are the best group of human beings I have ever known. Be it 10 years,10 months.10 days, 1 day or just hoping I want you realize that You All Truly are amazing people.
Best wishes and to you guys ..
David
:H )
What you resist persits
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