What a Trip Man !!!

[gambler]

Guys .. These last 10 days has been one wild ride for me !

Im not sure how to put this .. but I think Im gonna kinda miss that part of Sobriety ? ).. Not really miss per say.. I mean..I dunno.. What a Rush I guess..Intense.. Looking back at the Ultra low times and the Ultra high times and just putting everything in perspective is kinda cool huh ? I know it sucked and all. I dont really know how Im coming across here but it just Feels...I dont even know how to describe the feelings actually lol . I know that these memories will lose their intensity over time .. and I almost feel like I need to pay my respects to them before they lose some kinda something to me in a way ? Ok somebody help me out here will ya ! lol :H

Dont get me wrong or anything..I damn sure dont wanna go through it again but ..you know

So how do you guys feel towards these first few intense weeks of sobriety ? Celebratory sure sure .. but is there any personal feelings you have ? Something that you feel that might just kinda stick with you for the rest of your life ?

[Sake123]

What a Trip Man !!!

For me it's a surreal feeling...like I'm watching someone else NOT drink! There is a part of me that is excited, hopeful and an odd sense of freedom. There is another part of me that feels hesitant, unsure, waiting for the other shoe to drop. That part of me needs to step the hell off! Oh and there is a part of me that is mourning the loss of alcohol and strangely enough the loss of that terrific buzz (you know the one that only lasts a few minutes before you've had one too many).

I think I know what you mean...it's a lot to process all at once.

[C-Developer]

What a Trip Man !!!

I can't honestly say that all of my times partying my balls off were times of misery and pain. To be quite honest, I enjoyed the hell out of some of those nights (when I could clearly recall them). However, just because something is temporarily fun does not mean they are good for me. Quite the opposite, they were destroying my life.

I put myself in all types of risky situations based upon my highly impaired judgement. Frankly, I am just lucky as hell something terrible did not happen to me, like being robbed, getting my ass beat for running my mouth at some Atlas looking guy, blowing all my money and getting evicted from my apartment, getting myself fired from calling out of work due to hangovers, catch a nasty STD from some gutter slut that stuck my fancy in a drunken stupor, etc. etc. etc...to infinity.

All the good times in the world are not worth the potential calamity that was sure to befall me had I of kept continuing down that path. I played Russian roulette virtually every night that I headed out, but somebody must have been looking out for me since I am still in one piece and managed to make my way to MWO.

[Dottie Belle]

What a Trip Man !!!

I don't feel like ME but don't really know who ME is yet..spent so many years using AL to be someone else. Now I am faced with sorting out ME stuff and looking forward to that.
dot

[gambler]

What a Trip Man !!!

gambler;1558832 wrote: So how do you guys feel Towards these first few intense weeks of sobriety ?

Not the time before day 1 .. but from day 1 up..the first few AF weeks.

Surely you guys must be tired lol :nutso:

I guess the question was a litte too vague.. I fixed it now

[dryer]

What a Trip Man !!!

I put so much effort in these 2 weeks, I am sitting here staring, dazed, spent. I just got done watching a movie and it is difficult to post right now, but too bad it has to be done. I have a pledge, it is a commitment and I see I'm not alone. I got so jacked for this weekend looking at it like a prize fight. I would like to say more about this, you are right savor some of the victory, are we making highlights or what?
I know the only reason I drank was to be in my comfort zone and supress feelings and emotions.

[gambler]

What a Trip Man !!!

dryer;1558992 wrote: you are right savor some of the victory, are we making highlights or what?

Yea.. now thats what Im talking about this a pivotal point in our lives. ( well at least for me it is )

I just want my little souvenir to take with me

[little beagle]

What a Trip Man !!!

Dave I personally have a very hazy memory of the first 2 weeks af. I just couldn't believe I was actually doing it. I was so happy. It felt like a brand new world. And so yucky at the same time. I quit another addiction at the same time. I had so much anxiety that I didn't sleep much. (still don't sometimes). And I found mwo. Best thing that ever happened to me.
Honestly I still feel that wonderful excited feeling I wake up unhungover and af for another day. This week will be 5 months. 150 days. I wish I knew the minutes because I can remember every single one of them. That's how great it still is. Like Christmas morning as a small child great. Every day.

[dryer]

What a Trip Man !!!

It 's like being one of the flying Rolando's in the circus, but without practice.......... Ladies and gentlemen, Now way up above is Marriachi walking the tight rope, see the nerves of steel, the balance and skill of the great tightrope walker. YEAH clap clap.......

Mariachi is thinking shit thats a long ways down, man I never been here before, F---, hope I don't screw up, this is hard, how come no one else has to do this. I miss the ground, damn all those voices-SHUT UP, great here comes the wind didn't see that coming. man I can do this, hell who am I kidding,man get me a ladder, no just a few more feet.

[Clipped Wings]

What a Trip Man !!!

The wind got me !!!

You fellas are doing great and I hoe to join you soon. Was I a drunk last night....well YEAH, but much less than usual !!! Woke up @ 6:15 am the earliest I've been up in a long time, fuzzy, but not as. Going for a walk and will check back later. Hang tough warriors, don't let em see you sweat. Clipped Wings

[dryer]

What a Trip Man !!!

Think about this- the man on the tightrope 100 ft in the air can't be thinking WORRYING if he is going to make it. He practices, trains so when he is in the air he is doing, he is being and he is walking toward the other side, he knows his goal.

WHen I worry I am opening up to negative, scary, anxious things. When I do that it, my previous answer was to drink and get back into feeling comfortable. The tightrope guy can't worry either or he falls.

So for right now, this moment, today I do not worry, I practice, I train to change my outlook and my values I have about drinking.

I agree I am an addict and if I take just one drink it means I choose death a big fat gut and a big red nose.

[gambler]

What a Trip Man !!!

dryer;1559549 wrote: WHen I worry I am opening up to negative, scary, anxious things. When I do that it, my previous answer was to drink and get back into feeling comfortable. The tightrope guy can't worry either or he falls.

Hey Dryer, while your on this whole traveling circus analogy thing you should do one with the Tiger Cage and the Trainer ( we being the Trainer and Al and his cronies are the tigers and lions ) Seriously ! I was going to do one .. but I figured you would enjoy it more

Yes the tightrope guy/girl has to be relaxed and use his training to reach the other side. For me it seems that sometimes someone is shaking the rope..and then I have to stop and focus on getting my balance back before I take another step.

I agree that fear opens up all kinds of possibilities for us to fail. Being Centered and Balanced is key for me. My next goal is to get Grounded

Im looking forward to your Lions cage post

[Byrdlady]

What a Trip Man !!!

Little Beagle, at 150 days, you get the Flying Underpants Award! How fitting for all this acrobat talk!!! Let me see if my icons are working and I'll tease you with them!!!

:flyingunders:

Stay focused everyone!! You WILL do it!! Byrdie

[dryer]

What a Trip Man !!!

Check this out, I am listening to Stephen Covey, 7 habits of effective peole. He talks about if you want to make a small change then change your behaviour. But if you want to make a major change, change your paradigm. A greek word, meaning frame of reference a model. For this purpose it means the way we see things, our perceptions, value and what we believe to be true. How many times have you said man I need a drink, thats what you believe.

Ok circus trainer in front of the tiger (no cage) your habit and behavior is to crack that whip and hold the chair in front of you. That keeps the lion and tigers at bay, sitting, obeying but looking at you like you are a fat, juicy zebra hindquarter. How long can you keep up the chair and crack the whip? (your behaviour or strong will) Not forever that is why there is a cage(new paradigm-belief), you put a cage in place of the behaviour, the cage is your new way of looking at AL, you change the way you look at AL. Now you can leave the cage so you can put the chair down and go about other business you have, never worrying about the chair or the whip, yet you can walk by the lion and appreciate it because of the cage.