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What have you gained??

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    #1

    What have you gained??

    I find myself in two schools of thought...1) I am happy and READY for a new chapter of my life to begin. I don't feel like I've lost anything, I have the world ahead of me. Which includes good times and not so good times. But facing all of these days with a clear head (well at least somewhat clear).

    2)There are other times when I feel very alone. Like everyone else is enjoying a cocktail with dinner, going to a club, hanging out with friends...all with drinking involved. But I know in my heart this just isn't true. I'm willing to guess that if a group of friends got together, at least a quarter of them have a problem alcohol but just haven't come to terms with it. In some sick and perverse way this makes me jealous of that group. The ones that have not yet come to terms. How sad is that?

    So, I am trying to focus on what I am gaining from all of this. that includes the extra pounds from eating so much...but that's a story for another day! For me, I really need to focus on all the positive things that will come from being AF. I know I can do this...IF I keep my head straight and refuse to believe that I'm missing something by not drinking. I'm just not missing anything! I've been given another chance to live without that freaking alcohol chain around my neck.

    What freedoms have you been given?
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    #2
    What have you gained??

    Sake, it's a great question.

    The gains are endless. Literally endless. Self esteem, look and feel better, better concentration, better at your job. Improved relationships with everyone in your life because you are not a selfish drunk anymore. Not making an arse of yourself in front of people you love, proper sleep, (oh god how I love a good sleep!) no guilt, not being constantly ashamed of yourself, not trying to remember how you got home, what you said, or did. Saying adios to your past and a big hello to your new life.

    the losses? Just like you said. That romantic idea of enjoying 'a drink'. We don't do 'a drink'. If we could do 'a drink' we wouldn't be here. Great post, set me off on one of my rants :H
    Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it! ~ Goethe

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      #3
      What have you gained??

      In the last nine months I have gained my self respect and self esteem, I've gained the respect of my sons again. I've gained the right to buy things for myself if I choose to, no mad drunken impulse buys!

      I've gained the knowledge my bills are paid and no nasty surprises will arrive by email or post for things I've overlooked because I was drunk, wanted to buy drink or hungover.

      I've gained evenings, no longer am I agonising over where the wine is cheapest and racing off to get it before throwing together a dinner, dragging the dog for the quickest of walks before I could get stuck in to it.

      Then there's the knowledge I'm not driving to work the next day over the limit, thats one massive gain and the freedom to go to the supermarket in the middle of the night if I so choose, only once have I chosen this and only did so because I could!

      I've gained money in the bank. I've gained a few days holiday too, no longer do I have to plan recovery time if I visit friends as there is not "heavy session" involved,

      There have been losses too, I've lost the headaches, the stress, the guilt and shame. I've lost the ability to lie, and the need to. I've lost the high blood pressure, the fear of needing a blood test knowing what the result would be.

      The most significant and life changing gain has been the peace of mind and sense of calm. That takes a few months to kick in - that makes it all seem real. There will be other things, but these are the things I thought of first, stick with it, best thing you'll ever do for yourself.
      AF since 9 December 2012 :yay:

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        #4
        What have you gained??

        Wow Spiderwoman I love that post. Very inspiring. I have gained the world and lost the hell I was living in.
        No matter how far you go or how fast you run, you can't get away from yourself. ....said at an AA meeting. It stuck with me.

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          #5
          What have you gained??

          Its kinda late so I would like to reserve the right to come back to this thread. But in a 2 word reply ..

          MY LIFE .. and all the pros and cons that goes along with it ( thats including whats in my avatar )
          Progress lies not in enhancing what is, but in advancing toward what will be. - Khalil Gabran
          AF: 9-10-2013

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            #6
            What have you gained??

            My life!! Yes!! Best answer of all time!

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              #7
              What have you gained??

              I am pretty early in sobriety but what i am starting to see is the person i used to be before the drinking took over starting to peek his head out more and more. Even when drunk i used to wonder what, if anything, was left of that person. It's made me hopeful and determined to not stop at what i used to be but to surpass it.

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                #8
                What have you gained??

                Renewed self-confidence. For most of my life that was one of my defining characteristics and then I lost it to AL.

                Comment

                  #9
                  What have you gained??

                  for me, what I have gained in these 7 months of sobriety, hands down, increased self worth.

                  the hiding bottles....the lies....the guilt....I am so happy to be done with all of it. What I thought was a mild depression was caused by drinking- I am such a happier person, and I am such a better mom to my daughter. I KNOW I am a great mom. No more "I'm a pretty good mom....except for the fact that I drink".

                  Having a clear conscience each night I go to bed and when I awake in the morning is priceless.
                  AF since 3/12/13.


                  Completed over a year AF and fell off the wagon.
                  Back to it, new day 1= 7/1/14


                  I'm on my way.

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                    #10
                    What have you gained??

                    I would have to agree that self confidence and self esteem are the Big ones right now. Being self sufficient is a close tie

                    Sure you have the feeling stronger physically and mentally. Im much sharper..more observant. Over all just a sense of well being and awareness..Different paths and avenues are opening up that never could have being drunk everyday. I hold my self better..present myself better ..

                    I could go on and on :H

                    Good thread for meditation actually.
                    Progress lies not in enhancing what is, but in advancing toward what will be. - Khalil Gabran
                    AF: 9-10-2013

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                      #11
                      What have you gained??

                      Gambler summed it up perfectly for me - MY LIFE!

                      I really didn't know who I was when I was drinking alcohol. And that lasted for 30+ years!!

                      Now that I have relinquished the alcohol albatross from around my neck, I have gained MY LIFE.
                      John
                      AF since 7/13/2010

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                        #12
                        What have you gained??

                        Good topic. And I like the way Spider summed up the gains and losses! Clever!

                        Gains for me include clarity in just about everything. I'm much more aware of things and because I'm not foggy, I'm remember much more too. What might have been overlooked in the past is now coming into focus quicker. My self esteem and confidence is reemerging. My skin/hair/eyes are brighter and clearer. I'm nurturing friendships better - actually calling people back, remembering birthdays! I'm not procrastinating.More on top of my bills. Haven't found the sense of calm that Spider speaks of just yet - so hoping that will come. But, bottom line - there are soooo many benefits to being af.

                        What I've lost is the selfish behavior AL instigates. Because everything revolved around al, it was at the center of every single event-related decision. Which restaurants to go to, whose party to attend, always packing a cooler or making sure travelers were on hand. There are so many embarassing And Dangerous things that have gone to the way-side too. Driving drunk for one. Swearing like an idiot in public, falling down, slurred speach.....want more? From a health perspective, the main thing for me here is the loss of the heart palpitations. They were getting more frequent and I had to stop athletic activities due to them making me completely winded and dizzy.
                        I lost the monkey off my back - at least for now. Forty eight days does not make a reformed alkie, but it's a start.

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                          #13
                          What have you gained??

                          some great posts here guys, sanchez, you are doing so well. I love threads like this I am in such good company on my journey :l
                          Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it! ~ Goethe

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                            #14
                            What have you gained??

                            Thanks BH - I learn so much and find it so helpful hearing other's experiences too. It's all such good stuff! :l

                            Comment

                              #15
                              What have you gained??

                              Yup..very good thread for self introspection and self appreciation for sure ! I think that Sharing each others thoughts and feelings help see things in ourselves that we would not normally see or even look for either.

                              Hey everyone .. I have a new one

                              I gained a new set of friends too :l
                              Progress lies not in enhancing what is, but in advancing toward what will be. - Khalil Gabran
                              AF: 9-10-2013

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