Hi to anyone who may read this.
I logged on yesterday via Google and searched for "Alcohohics-on-line" and I found this site (most of the others seem to be in another landguage).
Once again I am trying to face up to the challenge of changing the balance of my life! (By the way, I am thinking out loud as I write and I dont' really know where its going to lead me.)
Almost 60 yrs now and I have led an interesting and somewhay varied life. I refer to my present situation as a T-Junction insofar as I can turn one way or the other but not keep going straight from the path I came!
In brief, I started to drink when I was about 21. Occasionally for the first 10 years and as my social life and finances developed the drinking also developed.
For the last 30yrs with very few breaks I had something to drink every day. My body capacity though never allowed me to consume large amounts at a time but that did not prevent me from being under the influence quite often (drunk to put it blankely).
Prior to 2 years ago I used to suffer from a severe but short term pain in mid-chest, even sometimes when I drank water. Two years ago I ended up in hospital with what I discovered was a severe attack of acute pancreatitis. I was in ICU for 3-4 days. After a week when I left hospital I was advised not to drink again, even a cherry-trifle could set off the condition again.
I stayed off the drink for about 6months and slowely started to sip again with no painful reaction, except the drinking developed momentum again. I was drinking again daily, too much, both out socially and at home.
Every morning I would wake up and promise myself not to drink today!
I would make it to lunchtime or early evening at best. A couple of shorts, a couple of pints, a bottle of wine and a brandy (or what ever available) nite cap!
Early to bed, awake most of the night, listen to the radio.
This is now my 25th day without alcohol. I am sleeping much better. I have taken an odd pill (Zanex) or sleeping tab to get me by, particularly in the first days.
The craving is rather now a strong desire. I still constantly think of a drink. I am still scared of drinking again, even one as I know one will develop into two and more...
Over the last 10 days I have been on the verge of attending an AA meeting but really dont want to. Hence the searching on the net for some kind of support.
I'm sorry for being so long winded but this is the first time I have opened up and my head is about to burst. I have to staying going, I cannot afford not to!
Every good wish to all of you and well done for what you have achieved.
Rowland.
I logged on yesterday via Google and searched for "Alcohohics-on-line" and I found this site (most of the others seem to be in another landguage).
Once again I am trying to face up to the challenge of changing the balance of my life! (By the way, I am thinking out loud as I write and I dont' really know where its going to lead me.)
Almost 60 yrs now and I have led an interesting and somewhay varied life. I refer to my present situation as a T-Junction insofar as I can turn one way or the other but not keep going straight from the path I came!
In brief, I started to drink when I was about 21. Occasionally for the first 10 years and as my social life and finances developed the drinking also developed.
For the last 30yrs with very few breaks I had something to drink every day. My body capacity though never allowed me to consume large amounts at a time but that did not prevent me from being under the influence quite often (drunk to put it blankely).
Prior to 2 years ago I used to suffer from a severe but short term pain in mid-chest, even sometimes when I drank water. Two years ago I ended up in hospital with what I discovered was a severe attack of acute pancreatitis. I was in ICU for 3-4 days. After a week when I left hospital I was advised not to drink again, even a cherry-trifle could set off the condition again.
I stayed off the drink for about 6months and slowely started to sip again with no painful reaction, except the drinking developed momentum again. I was drinking again daily, too much, both out socially and at home.
Every morning I would wake up and promise myself not to drink today!
I would make it to lunchtime or early evening at best. A couple of shorts, a couple of pints, a bottle of wine and a brandy (or what ever available) nite cap!
Early to bed, awake most of the night, listen to the radio.
This is now my 25th day without alcohol. I am sleeping much better. I have taken an odd pill (Zanex) or sleeping tab to get me by, particularly in the first days.
The craving is rather now a strong desire. I still constantly think of a drink. I am still scared of drinking again, even one as I know one will develop into two and more...
Over the last 10 days I have been on the verge of attending an AA meeting but really dont want to. Hence the searching on the net for some kind of support.
I'm sorry for being so long winded but this is the first time I have opened up and my head is about to burst. I have to staying going, I cannot afford not to!
Every good wish to all of you and well done for what you have achieved.
Rowland.
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