Not a cross roads but a T-Junction

[Rowland]

Not a cross roads but a T-Junction

Hi Bean,
Sorry for taking so long to come back. Hope you are still well and nose above water. My thoughts - I agree we want to achieve a better life for oourselves just because its the right thing to do. However having used booze for so long as a crutch I am now not ashamed to use another crutch - my health! As I get better, and it will be a whole month if I get through tomorrow, yepee!!, well as I get better within myself, its beginning to show and others (my family) are feeling good for me too. Its said 'if you dont love yourself - how can you love another properly'. This is the 1st time I really think I'll make it but that in itself is a danger, one needs to be aware, all of the time. Hence, this site and new found friends and support is magnificent and for the first time I feel others understand. Take courage, if I can come this far, I assure you anyone can!!
Have a great week.
Rowland. :l allround

[Bean]

Not a cross roads but a T-Junction

Hi
Yes, I'm good ish. Still AF (18 days now, it's really great and I am feeling the benefits). Wierdly, I am having some unrelated issues with some friends and although on one hand the temptation to drink is sort of there, these problems are distracting me and/or making me feel that getting hammered will definitely make everything worse. I am feeling bad about what is happeining with that situ so dont want to add to that negativity with a drinking binge. Good for you on reaching a month - that's my goal for now too. Will be a 'first' which I look forward to achieving.
Have a good rest of week too.
Bean x

[Rowland]

Not a cross roads but a T-Junction

Thank You one and all. I need more advice, please.

First day of second month, on the 17th just past I was one month AF. The first 3 weeks were very difficult. Last night I started to read the MYO book - I just wish I had read it sooner. The programme may have helped. The real bad craving is gone but I still would like to have a drink because I like the taste but really would need 3 or 4 for it to satisify me!!!! Bad road. (Still at the T-junction!))
Can any one tell me is it worthwhile at this stage starting the programme and in particular the 'topamax' or whatever its called and if yes is the answer, are there any side effects related to damaged liver or pancreas? (as I said I have only started the book and havent got that far yet.)
I dont think I would have completed the month without your help so well done to you too and thanks.
Rowland. :thanks: :thumbs: :happy:

[irishlady]

Not a cross roads but a T-Junction

Hi Rowland and a big congratulations on starting your second month...

My advice would be to start the programme.. I can't give you any advice about the topamax as I don't take that, but I do take the supplements... The Kudzu and the L-Glutamine are the main ones for helping with the cravings.. For the first 3 or even 4 months I would recommend taking them on a daily basis... Then depending on how well you feel you are doing you can cut them down... I have been AF for almost 7 months now and rarely need to take them, but they are always there in the cupboard just in case...

Good luck,

Louise xxx

[DidItForMe]

Not a cross roads but a T-Junction

Hello Rowland:
The Kudzu and the L-Glut are wonderful for helping with the cravings. I also take the Topamax and I don't think I could have decreased my drinking without it. HOWEVER, I did it with my doctors prescription and advice. I know a lot of people here get the Topa online, and that's fine, but with your health history, please just consult your Dr. He would be the only one who could really tell you if you could take the Topa safely. I have just read through this thread and it sounds like your health is very important to you, so I am probably just " preaching to the choir" anyway. Congratulations on all of your AF days! You are doing great and I am really happy for you. Enjoy the rest of the book!

[Rowland]

Not a cross roads but a T-Junction

A bit confused - want a giggle?

Well folks, many thanks again for your support and encouragement. I have to come back here often as a way of reinforcing my committment / objective call it what you will. By the way I know I mouth off too much, but it does help me! Thanks for listening. Got over a sizeable test last night, we were out in company for about 7 hours meal and drinks. I stayed on the water!!!! A long night but I managed it - just. I feel good about it this morning.
Can I share a giggle with you? I said I am confused, will I must be because all my life I find it difficult to make decisions or plan for the future and you wont be surprised!
I was born on 23 July. Now in most of my horoscopes I am a Leo but in many of them I am 'Cancer' so I am confused!, I was born naturally left-handed but when I started school I was made to write with my right hand, I payed racket sports with my left hand but play golf from the right! My hair (when I had more) naturally fell to the left but boys comb to the right so I combed to the right, confused, yes so am I. Am I right or left, sane or insane? However, one thing I am not confused about is my sexual orientation - I love the fairer sex.
In case your wondering - yes I am sober at the moment but after 40 years of alcohol there is probably a residue in my system even after 35 days AF.
Best regards and again many thanks,
Rowland.:H &:thanks:

[bird]

Not a cross roads but a T-Junction

Hi'
Welcome and I like your post.Sometimes I get some chest pain after a night of drinking.Must look into the pancreas thing.Hadn't thought of that.Great you have 25 days in. Bird

[jcilia]

Not a cross roads but a T-Junction

Hi Rowland,
I too stumbled upon this site, and in two weeks it is really changing my life already. Started with the book and was glued to it. Now I don't need to tell anyone around me, but come here to get ideas and support. Best of luck to you. And no thoughts are drivel!

[fearless]

Not a cross roads but a T-Junction

hi rowland,
i had pancreatitis last year, too. got mixed messages re the alcohol. no one in the hospital told me it had to do w/my drinking. they took one look at me and didn't think i could be someone who would binge. they were wrong.

my regular doc said i shouldn't have a drink again.
i was also seeing a naturopathic doc who said i should consider it like poison to me. one drop would trigger things chemically and off i'd go.

i stayed sober for several months.
had some stress and experimented with moderation (as i had done many many years in the past).
i found myself being hyperattentive to any sensations in my abdomen that might be early warning signs of the pancreatitis. frankly, the pain was so awful that i never wanted to go through it again.
i also got this huge bruise one night and i didn't know how it happened. that scared me.
i went and got blood tests and was reassured that my organs were in good order, and the doc, a new one, suggested campral.

i'd heard of it after rented an hbo special on *addiction*. it really changed my mind about things. i felt less shame and as if what had happened to me could have been anyone and not what only happened to someone guilty or bad. i highly recommend the dvd's that have interviews of experts on addiction. a lot of it all made sense to me. and this was after reading many many books on addiction and recovery over the past year.

i've also been to aa meetings.
was forced to...a longer story.
i don't find all of it my thing, but there are many people in them who are so compassionate and who have lived through many years of abstinence.
they do have wisdom.

so i've been picking and choosing what works for me.

i have to say be careful with the xanax. i took it some last year too for the anxiety, but it IS addictive and anything addictive right now might send you right back. it won't help your cravings.

i read up on amino acids and sugar cravings and changed my diet so that i wasn't triggering myself. i take supplements (not the kudzu advised here, but other things that i'd read do work).

when i'm sober i feel like a new woman.
i feel powerful.

i can't moderate any more.

i'm trying to make changes thru love for myself now...
not just the fear
tho the fear was the right kick in the pants for a start.

hope some of this helps.

[Rowland]

Not a cross roads but a T-Junction

What a wonderful handle - "Fearless"

Hi Fearless,
I say what a wonderful name, conjurs up an image of a warrier fighting a battle ..and winning.
A lot of your story is similar to my own.
Can you tell me what you mean by renting a 'hbo' also I would love to know what DVD's you used.
I know about the Zanex being addictive so yes I am quite careful, I would like to find an alternative to help me through the difficult part of the day i.e. 5 -7pm.
I have ordered the cd's and suplements Kuduz and L-Glut and Amino acids from health shop attached. Hope these help me. I'm a bit nervous of the topomate due to health history!!
Anyway many thanks for your thoughts and openess I wish you every success in your battle. Maybe we can fight side by side.
Love & best wishes to you and all my new found friends.
Rowland xx

[Julia_01]

Not a cross roads but a T-Junction

Hey you, read my message, come on.......... xxx

[Julia_01]

Not a cross roads but a T-Junction

hey

WE can do this............ xx :h

[fearless]

Not a cross roads but a T-Junction

HBO is...

Rowland;127226 wrote: Hi Fearless,
I say what a wonderful name, conjurs up an image of a warrier fighting a battle ..and winning.
A lot of your story is similar to my own.
Can you tell me what you mean by renting a 'hbo' also I would love to know what DVD's you used.
...Anyway many thanks for your thoughts and openess I wish you every success in your battle. Maybe we can fight side by side.
Love & best wishes to you and all my new found friends.
Rowland xx

hey there row,
yeah, fearless...
that's me.
HBO is a TV channel/station
they've got money to spend on documentaries and such
and they produced a series called *addiction*
i rented the dvd disks locally and watched the ones in particular which were interviews w/famous medical experts about addiction in general and some very specifically about alcohol. the information on it made me feel much more normal and human
and as if i were not someone to be relegated to a church basement
(a la AA meetings...which i'm not opposed to...i just think more broadly than the AA scope).

yes,
we can battle it out together.

tho i rather like the idea of walking through it
and not fighting or resisting so much
as just being in whatever's happening
therefore, needing less to escape into something chemical to disguise what is actually going on.

[tea]

Not a cross roads but a T-Junction

Rowland...hullo!!
You really are a brave creature you.... the blarney has obviously touched your lips. Welcome, welcome,welcome... you have contributed more in your first post than I ever have! We are all so lucky to have found MWO, please read through old post, the experience and the trust you will find second to none, there is truthfull, honest, genuine folks here, congratulations on finding us/it. Really looking forward to hearing how you are getting along.

Lorna xx

[Rowland]

Not a cross roads but a T-Junction

Hi Lorna,
Unfortunately its more than the blarney has touched my lips, however there are somethings I like touching my lips and I'm not thinking alcohol!!!!!
Love Row. xx