scared

[hereatlast]

:new: hi everyone
i have been lurking like many people keep meaning to do this but come 7pm ping time for whisky
many people know i drink but i am what ihave heard is a functioning drinker i am a 47 yr old nurse.
my mum was an alcoholic and it was terrible. but i hide it better than she did and i dont think anyone, even my husband knows the extenct.
anyway why am i here? well thursday morning my brother woke up and found his wife dead next to him she had not been ill and was 60 yrs old she was a very heavy drinker and smoker but so far they have not found a cause. that night i got so drunk when everyone went to bed i fell and am covered in bruises which i am hiding that i hope was my wake up call it is now monday and i havent had a drink since that night which i know is not long but probably the first time in 10 years
i bought kudzu and milk thistle this morning do you think there is any chance i can repair the damage i have done to myself ? i am begging for your suport as i have no one else to turn to.

[Allie]

scared

Hereatlast,
WELCOME! I'm so sorry to hear about your sister-in-law... that has got to be so tough on everybody. That's great you have already got the kudzu and milk thistle. Also, to help resist the drinks at night, try to go get some "GABA" and "L-Glutamine", both of which you can find at any GNC or health shop that sells lots of vitamins. The Gaba will really calm your nerves and make you feel relaxed when you are getting close to the time you would normally drink. The L-Glutamine will cut back on the pleasure aspect of drinking and just help you overall fight of the craving too. I find these are my two favorite supplements alonside the Kudzu. I would REALLY encourage you to order the Kudzu from THIS website, because most of the store bought brands do not contain proper amounts of what we need in them, and some do not contain the active ingredient that curbs you appetite to drink at all! When I bought the Kudzu from this site, I noticed a HUGE difference. But keep taking what you have until then.

Secondly, about liver damage. My brother is an internist and I have asked him all of these questions because our Dad is an alcoholic and has drank so many years heavily. My brother said that the liver is AMAZING at repairing itself if someone stops drinking. He said B-vitamins (thiamine) in particular really help to rebuild damage. The Milk thistle is really good too. Getting on a good vitamin supplement is crucial b/c alcohol stips the nutrients from your body and blocks your body's ability to absorb them. He also said that once somone has official "cirrhosis", then it cannot be reversed. But you are most likely not at that point, and as long as you are not, the damage can be repaired. As painful as what happened with your sister in law is, realize that you are quite a bit younger and still have time. Let it be a wake up call to you to take action! This program really works if you do it. I would encourage you to do the whole program to the "T" and not pick and choose. I did that for way too long and did not get good results until I did the whole program (all supplements, CDs, read the book, exercise). Its amazing how things that seem so simple in and of themselves are so powerful when combined!

Best of luck to you!
Keep posting...
Allie

[hereatlast]

scared

thank you so much allie that really helped

[happy2be]

scared

hi hereatlast,

I joined MWO about 5 minutes ago and totally know where you are coming from. Only difference I guess is that I have no AF days behind me. I can go from 1 glass of wine if I am "out" to a large bottle of wine. My family thinks I sleep a lot because I work hard but in fact I pass out.
It's only really in the past year that I feel as if I am totally out of control and I was blaming"it" on menopause, the I read something that said menopause can last from 6 to 13 years, I can't do this for 6 more months. I am really, really hoping this will work, I am just about to order all the supplements on-line.

It is so helpfull to read other experiences!!!

Thank you

[lushy]

scared

Welcome Here! I wanted to say how sorry I am about your sister-in-law. Allie summed it up well. This program does work and the support here is immeasurable. I wish you the best!!!:welcome:

[betty boop]

scared

Here and Happy, :welcome: to you both,

I soo remember waking up covered in bruises, and having to hide them, and the passing out (well I don't suppose that I remember passing out, just finding myself fully dressed on the sofa etc).

I now enjoy the natural 'falling to sleep' and the waking up without the guilt, It is possible .....

Give it your best, with all the lovely people here you can both do this ..

Love & Hugs ....

[hereatlast]

scared

i often wonder how i have kept it well hidden i once fell out of bed and had a huge gash on my forehead i refused to go to a & e and now have a scar. the rest of the family think its funny that mum got a bit tiddly i was totally humiliated i have rung people at night then cant remember what i said. i have never gone to work drunk although i must have been hung over i work with pre term babies so i could never let it hurt them but recently my hands have a tremor even when i am sober please please tell me this will go if i stay af.

[Guest]

scared

:welcome:

First of all I want to say how sorry I am for your and your brothers loss. :l

This site is the best, and has become a life line. The people are very very supportive and make you feel welcome. It's like a nice cozy blanket being here.

I have just started taking the supps and I have noticed the difference almost immediately. I have not wanted a drink at all today.

You will enjoy being here with everyone.

[hereatlast]

scared

i have just come off the phone they still have no cause of death for my sister in law its complicated because my my brothers wife was my ex husbands sister it makes for a complicated family tree but means she was quite close to my kids, we cant arrange her funeral until the death certificate i am convinced she drank more than we knew as she did the late night phone call thing that i know i have done if it is alcohol related i know she would be humiliated. i just keep telling her in my head that she has pushed me into doing something and thanking her.

[Allie]

scared

hereatlast,
Do you think they are "looking" at her liver and alcohol being the cause of death? From what I underststand, if you die from liver failure or cirrhosis, the symptoms are quite obvious such as internal bleeding that comes out your ears, eyes, nose - basically any opening. I know that's gross, but I'm sure you must know this being a nurse. If there are no outward signs of that, it would surprise me if it was liver failure. But maybe her heavy drinking lead to something else such as a heart attack or something. I hope they find out soon so you can all at least begin to bring closure.

As far as the shaky hands, I only have that if I have drank way too much the night before and then I will notice the next morning when I try to put on makeup or whatever, that my eyeshadow is landing on my nose. But it usually goes away after a few hours and not so bad that anyone notices but me. I know others can probably address that better. I think the heavier you drink and the heavier your addiction is, obviously the worse the withdrawal. I do have a friend that said it took a few days and then was gone. Really try to replenish your body with LOTS of fluids... take some potassium or eat potassium-rich foods and drink something like sports drinks such as Gatorade that are high in potassium. That seems to help. Keep hanging in there! You sound determined, and once you get it out of your system for a few days you will begin feeling like a new person!

Take care,
Allie

[hereatlast]

scared

thanks allie
no there was no obvious blood but she was on anti depressants and pain killers and i keep thinking what if she mixed them up. no one else in the family is thinking like this so i am keeping my mouth shut i suppose as you say its my nurses head.
i am feeling much better today phsically iam not craving a drink i am on my own and now is the time i would be having my first whisky so i thank all of you for that.
reading that back i feel terrible my 9 year old is playing with a freind and will be in soon HOW can i drink when i have him to care for talk about the veil dropping phew

[retteacher]

scared

Hereatlast:

I can identify w/the secret drinking, although many people close to me probably have a pretty good idea that I have a drinking problem. I love waking up in the AM knowing I did not fall asleep drunk the night before. I cannot have just one drink. I'm truly an alcoholic: someone who cannot control her drinking. Please keep reading & sharing. It's helpful to yourself & all of us out here who are also struggling.