Onwards and Upwards!

[noodle]

Onwards and Upwards!

Me too!!! God knows how many day 1's for me :upset:
Just don't dissapear , I did and it took me 6 months to drink myself stupid again until I felt i couldn't manage without these folks any longer.
Good luck and you know how it goes...dust yerself off.....:h Apparantly failure is an essential part of success - that is probably a very bad interpretation of a very famous quote - but you know where I'm coming from so humour me - many pickled brain cells are waking up and wondering where everyone else went.
I digress, good luck my friend and stay strong, so much support here, and deep down you know what you want to do, or you wouldn't have started this journey in the first place. As K9 says - don't give up xx

[Darkest Diamond]

Onwards and Upwards!

Struggling like hell, still drinking each eve after work in abundance, very unhappy, was having CBT and it did help at the beginning ...... had three weeks sober, then at another point two weeks . Recently just cant do more than two or three days, counsellor keeps referring to ending our sessions...... as CBT is only supposed to be for a few weeks, I know I am not ready to stop seeing him.

One of my triggers is that I resent working until 10.00pm or sometimes later, I arrive at work about 7.30am leave at 6.00pm or sometimes 7.00pm. Get home, then do more work for the next day...... it is the working from home late into the night that I resent, I am not paid enough to sacrifice my soul as much as I do. I try to soften it by drinking while I work at home in the evenings, I can be very creative and productive with up to one bottle (wine) then after that not so much. Lots of people in my profession work similar hours just because we need to to do all the necessary stuff we are expected to do now. I am not unusual I know that.

I am not using this as an excuse, I have got to find a way of cutting back the hours I do. .... also I still dream of stopping drinking but somehow feel that I am locked into it. Some days I feel a real glimmer of light and that I can stop and I truly want to stop but then others I feel a switch go off while I am driving home from work............ "I've been at work for hours and hours, still got more to do, sod it, let's drink while I do that work".

Thanks to all of you for your support, please continue to help me as I truly want to stop drinking xxxx

[spiderwoman]

Onwards and Upwards!

Hi DD

Is there any way at all you can cut down on the working hours a bit and do something else a couple of evenings a week. My late husband used to work like that (drank like it too for that matter) and made a lot of money. He died 12 days after his 52nd birthday (not drink related). I feel sure if he had a life outside work he might be here today, don't put yourself in an early grave, there isn't enough money in the world for that!

Hope you can have a break over the weekend and get the chance to regroup.

[Darkest Diamond]

Onwards and Upwards!

I am going to kick this b****** to the kerb it is sucking the life out of me. I will no longer be its slave. Inside me there is a kind, loving, very creative person, with a great sense of humour, who has been smothered by booze and battered by it. If I can truly get over it I think my life would be good, really good.

[noodle]

Onwards and Upwards!

Sending you love ansd strength vibes DD, we can do it xxx

[noodle]

Onwards and Upwards!

Jesus what is wrong with my spelling!! I promise you I am sober! x

[broken halo]

Onwards and Upwards!

DD, fancy a wee chat tomorrow? I totally get what you are going through. I'll PM you :l

[MossRose]

Onwards and Upwards!

Hi DD. I am so glad to see you back. Yes - please keep this thread going. I plan on following it daily, and will at least check in to let you know I'm thinking of you, even if I have no sage advice. We're here for you. You can do this, my friend.

xx, MR

[Darkest Diamond]

Onwards and Upwards!

Feeling good, had a bit of a weird nights sleep with some strange dreams one a bit nightmarish. Yesterday I stopped drinking about 8.30 in the morning. So yesterday felt like day one but today is technically day one!

It is raining cats and dogs here but that all feels very cosy, going to AA tonight and will see family in the day (also clear up flat a bit, as it is a mess and do some work)

I think I am going to light a candle and say a prayer asking for strength,

Love to all, it's morning here but I think a lot of you might be having your night time, all the time differences are confusing!

[lifechange]

Onwards and Upwards!

Good morning, DD-- Lighting a candle and saying a prayer is a lovely idea. I hope you have a nice day with family! and then at aa.- I just ran a race of cleaning house, baking muffins and quiche for a brunch at 12-- my best gfriends + kids-- first one sober and a bit nervous. I will light a candle, too. Will check in with you later to see how you're doing! big hugs and lots of strength:l

[Darkest Diamond]

Onwards and Upwards!

Thank you Life Change (great user name). I am also going to take all the empty bottles down to the supermarket recycling bins as I don't want to put them in my dustbin as I don't want the dustmen to see them!! it is still really pouring here which is great as it means I don't need to water the flowers/plants in my garden. Feeling pretty upbeat today.

[Darkest Diamond]

Onwards and Upwards!

Home from work now so nearing the end of day 2 (although it feels like end of day 3 as I stopped so early on Sat morning).

Feel daunted by the amount of work to do now at home, but I am going to break it up with nice things instead of drinks, stretching exercises, bubble bath and a burst of a great tv programme.

Emotions have felt really raw today, felt quite overwhelmed at points during the working day, wanted to go "Aaaaaagggghhhhh" and run (but didn't) Every emotion is heightened, also driving to work, noticed all the new colours of Autumn.... felt a glimmer of joy, so some of the emotional stuff was good!

DD x

[Darkest Diamond]

Onwards and Upwards!

Nearing the end of day three, really tough day at work , after less than four hours sleep, more work to do now , have been at work from 7.00am to 7.00pm. Now still have several hours to do at home. Sober and feel like I am talking to myself!......hey ho!

[Darkest Diamond]

Onwards and Upwards!

Tired , sent the same message twice! Hope everyone is having a good evening... or morning etc depending on where you are DD x

[lifechange]

Onwards and Upwards!

Hey DD! Sounds like my work week last week-- I was so beat on Friday, I thought I was coming down with something. Be sure to take extra good care of yourself now--I find sometimes the overly tired, fuzzy minded times to be dangerous. Your home time plans (aside from working!) yesterday sounded great. Are you watching something good? I need a good film or series rec. if you have one. I saw you posted about a 999 special, but I'm not in the UK. Hope you have a relaxing evening..