Just a thought....

[Softy]

Nobody I know, knows I post here. I would be mortified if they found out. Wonder why I can be honest here but not in "real life"? I think that this place is like a conscience. I spill out my thoughts and often a mysterious stranger will talk back to me with words that seem to come from within.

Now that i am a third of the way to 100 days AF it is time to start reflecting on what is going on and enlisting the support of loved ones.

I couldn't ask them for help before because I feared I would fail and they would judge me badly. Now I have some success under my belt I am starting to feel confident enough to share my fears and hopes with people I love.

This sounding board has helped me practice what I want to say, without being judged.

:thanks:

[Elvis]

Just a thought....

Around Day 48 I started having that feeling. My wife had been very supportive, but I left my family and friends out of it. I was feeling I could start to let them in, even if it was just to have someone else ask me how I was doing now and then. And with almost 50 days AF they could see how confident I was.

I almost had that moment when I told my sister and my parents, but I hesitated and the moment passed. A week later, I had a day of weakness and started drinking, and I drank 14 of the last 19 days since then. Today is my Day One again, and I had a lot of time to think lately and I feel that if I had told them then, I wouldn't have picked up the bottle a week later. And if I hadn't picked up that bottle that day, I still wouldn't have picked it up. Of course that's all in the past, what's done is done, don't dwell on it, etc., but the thought's there.

One thing I will do differently going forward is not hesitate to let the right people in at the right time. Best of luck to you whatever you choose, and good job on the 33+ days.

[treetops]

Just a thought....

Well done Softly on your achievement and - Elvis - you will soon have another 33 days as well.

During my quit I have made sure I told the right people when I was ready. For a long time I was worried that they might judge me if I started drinking again- and so that was a reason why I ws initially reluctant to come out.
However right from the start I enlisted my partner and daughter, a close colleague at work, and 3 very close friends.This was not to police me but so that they would understand my fragility during the first few months of quitting. It was also lovely to tell them - I made one week, one month etc. - Sure, its different for the 'normies' and the MWO people really understand the struggles - but I have needed a real smile, hug etc.

I never went as far as making a statement on facebOok or to a wider group- although the other day I blurted out to my colleagues in a meeting that 'I don't drink'. I dont think there have been repercussions and the words came out before my brain said 'be careful'.

Just take your time - but if you do have loved ones you can tell - I suggest you do. So many alkies don't have the choice of that support. Also we all have our serious weaknesses and need each other

[noodle]

Just a thought....

Congrats Softy - it's great to be inspired by everyones achievements, and a helping hand from others when we fall. I've been gently, but honestly upfront, to just my nearest and dearest at this point. I havn't made any big announcements to friends or colleagues, mainly because I don't think it's any of their business. My family have all been great, but none of us are making a big deal out of it, I do feel quietly calm and determined this time, and have also had a heart to heart with my youngest, which although heartbreaking (on my part), has cleared some issues, and made my commitment stronger than ever before. Good luck, I'm sure they will be proud of you xx

[Softy]

Just a thought....

Don't know, I am thinking very much like Elvis did at the minute but it's a good valuable lesson to see what happened. Thanks Elvis, that post helps me focus my thoughts. Sorry to hear you slipped. From my maths 50 +(19-14)+1 = you are on day 56 today with a blip in between!

[Elvis]

Just a thought....

I was rounding off, so it's actually 53+(19-14)+1+1 now = Day 60 plus a blip! Hey, if we're doing math, I want the extra credit! :H Just messing around. I'm finishing up Day 2 now, but I'm not forgetting what I learned on my 60-1-1-(19-14) either.

[spiderwoman]

Just a thought....

I told my partner on day one, he didn't believe that I was quitting. I also told my closest friends that day, they thought I was taking things too far, as did my sons. At work I was in the process of changing roles when I quit so when I began the new role I stated I didn't drink, nobody said a thing and took it at face value. As I got to know my new colleagues better, a few have asked if I dislike alcohol and I've been honest and said I love wine, far too much for my own good, nobody has said a word, other than to ask if I'm still off it. I've since discovered that a colleague who is on long term sick leave (not drink related) has a severe problem and has been caught drinking at work, this has put undue pressure on the rest of them so I've been left in peace, apart from the requests for lifts home after the Christmas do.

Only my partner, one of my sons and one friend can accept I really do and did have a big problem with drink. My best friend is an alcoholic but won't face it, its no fun watching her degenerate so I try to keep my distance, thats the saddest bit.