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    #46
    I blew it

    I've just got to chime in, too. If they gave prizes for falling, I'd have been the recipient of many of them. I had 100 Day 1's. There is NO shame in the house here....we ALL know exactly what a powerful force this is. No shame, and no judgment on this site! We are all thinking of you and we'll be right here in the morning. Love you, Byrdie
    All you gotta do, is get thru this day. AF 1/20/2011
    Tool Box
    Newbie's Nest

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      #47
      I blew it

      OK so the bastard won a battle, don't let it win the war. You've been really strong and poured it away, get some rest and dust yourself down, you will get there. Stay with us.

      Sylv x
      AF since 9 December 2012 :yay:

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        #48
        I blew it

        BH,

        You've always been one of my favorite posters on here and I really hope you won't go. You know the basics, just let us help get you back on track. We'll never give up on you, don't you dare give up on yourself. I know you are heartbroken right now but you need to know that we care about you. Please post when you can and let us know how you are doing.
        "When you have faults, do not fear to abandon them." Analects of Confucius
        AF 11/12/11

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          #49
          I blew it

          broken halo;1566808 wrote: I don't think I can come back
          Get your arse back here mate. I love you, we love you, and there are so many people here who support you, care about you, and are right behind you. Get some rest, plenty of water, something nutritious to eat, and back in the saddle. You have so much to offer yourself, those closest to you, and the world. Remember how you felt AF, and remember how you feel now after drinking. Big difference.

          broken halo;1566818 wrote:
          I help no one
          You have helped me, and continue to do so by just being here. Thankyou BH. :l

          G bloke. xx

          'I am part of all that I have met, yet all experience is an arch wherethro', gleams that untravelled world whose margins fade, forever and forever when I move'

          Zen soul Warrior. Freedom today-

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            #50
            I blew it

            broken halo we go way back. If I told you I'd relapsed would you stop talking to me? Would you tell me I am not worthy of your support? Or would you tell me to dust myself off and start living again?
            Newbies Nest
            Toolbox
            My accountability thread

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              #51
              I blew it

              Kradle123;1566848 wrote: Not True, Halo! You're helping me right now. Last night my son screamed in my face big and loud tat he hated me as a person...blowing it with your child is really blowing it, sweetie.
              Getting S**tFaced and not being You for awhile is not...especially with 100 days in the Bank as Wine Says.
              Just reading your post and your honesty is keeping me from using my ol standby tool for dropping out...:l:h

              A bath sound like a good idea
              Kradle, that's awful. :hug
              Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it! ~ Goethe

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                #52
                I blew it

                so much love, thank you all. I'm in a desparate place right now
                Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it! ~ Goethe

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                  #53
                  I blew it

                  Would it help to talk about it?

                  What could we do right now that could help? Is there anything you need to hear and discuss? If I were with you, I would give you a massage.

                  I know there are people who will be online over the next couple hours who will listen.

                  :l NS

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                    #54
                    I blew it

                    Thank you NS
                    Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it! ~ Goethe

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                      #55
                      I blew it

                      it would help t talk
                      Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it! ~ Goethe

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                        #56
                        I blew it

                        BH I'm feeling for you. I could quite easily fall into that desperate place right now and I'm trying to be strong. There is so much happening at the moment and I think if I only had AL that would get me through and in my heart I know it wont but such a temptation.

                        Reading your post for me personally means that I am so going to try and be strong. You have put a lot into perspective for me and by the sounds of it there are no positives in going down the AL road.

                        Can I ask did it make you feel better other than at the time? It doesnt sound as if it has made you feel better now. God i dont want to sound crass or judgemental or anything like that and i hope I am not but i just feel so much of what you are going through could be me.

                        Why are you feeling so desperate BH? I would love to be giving you big hugs right now as I am sure everyone else here would also. xx
                        AF free 1st December 2013 - 1st December 2022 - 9 years of freedom

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                          #57
                          I blew it

                          I wish we could go to chat but it doesn't work on my iPad. And I'm not at home.

                          Do you have a phone # of some one near you that you could call? Or you could post or pm. It probably will help you to unload the pain you are carrying. You know nothing will shock people here. And no one will cast stones.

                          You are not the only one.

                          :l

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                            #58
                            I blew it

                            Broken Halo, please don't give up. Just a few good days under your belt will make you feel so much better and your slip will so quickly be just a thing of the past. I pray I won't mess up again, but if I do, I know that's when I'll need this site more than ever.
                            You had the power all along, my dear.

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                              #59
                              I blew it

                              Kailey;1566917 wrote: Broken Halo, please don't give up. Just a few good days under your belt will make you feel so much better and your slip will so quickly be just a thing of the past. I pray I won't mess up again, but if I do, I know that's when I'll need this site more than ever.
                              I appreciate the support
                              Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it! ~ Goethe

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                                #60
                                I blew it

                                BH... please try to think of this as just "one" isolated day in the last 101 that you've logged, 100 AL free! I am not an analyst in any sense of the word but I know that if I was, I would be counting you as an EXTREME success. Just put this one day behind you... Not sure where you are, but if you can, just go to sleep and tomorrow you will have had 102 with only 1 slip.. A record that many of us here would absolutely love to be able to achieve....

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