Why NOT me?

[psychmommy]

Hi, I've been lurking and posting here and there in response to others. This is the first time I have started a thread as this is really bothering me.

I have a friend - she's mid-40's, doesn't drink, doesn't smoke, lives a healty/balanced lifestyle (I, of course, am not all that. We met because our kids our friends). Well, last week she was diagnosed with inoperable lung cancer. I can't seem to wrap my brain around this. I always figured it would be me who would end up with health consequences based on my lifestyle. . . Although given I'm in my 30's, there's still plenty of time. It is so unfair and so hard to understand. Then I feel guilty for thinking about me and my feelings about it, when she is the one who is sick.

So, if nothing else, maybe I can use her predicament to get my act together. She may not get a chance to see her kids grow up, but I have many chances to make the best life I can with my own. If nothing else, the situation offers a new perspective.

Thanks for all your posts everyone - There's a lot of wisdom and encouragement on this site.

[lushy]

Why NOT me?

Psych, I am so sorry for you and your friend. Some things are impossible to understand, but they do certainly put things in perceptive. My thoughts are with you, and her family.

[MKR]

Why NOT me?

Dear Psych,

I understand sitting there with the not so great lifestyle and wondering how did I get so lucky! It is not selfish to think about your own mortality when a dear friend gets a terminal diagnosis. So this is your special wake up call to be better to yourself. She is giving the gift of self examination.

Understand why? I don't think anyone can. You and your friend are in my thoughts and prayers.

Hugs, Mary

[psychmommy]

Why NOT me?

Thanks so much for your support (Special thanks to Fan, Lushy, and MKR).

I really like what MKR said about how I am being the "gift of self examination". . . I will use it wisely. Thank you.

[Bean]

Why NOT me?

Hi Psych
Sorry to hear about this sad situation. I have a friend with a very rare muscle wasting condition. In the three years i have known her she has declined quite a lot and is now in a wheelchair with a specially adapted car and has recently got one of those assistant dogs to help her in her daily life. I have often questioned why her and there are no answers. The thing is that she is one of the most motivated and active people I know. She works full time, is getting married this summer, has many friends and close family, takes an Art class every week, exercises etc etc. I am staggered at her ability to carry on day after day when it would be so easy to give up and spend her whole time complaining. It's a frequent reminder to me when I am moaning about something, how lucky I am for my health and life and encourages me to get back out there and on with it!
Feel like I'm turning into the cliche queen but your post reminded me of a saying...'Expecting life to treat you fairly is like expecting the bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian'.
As others have said, this is a lesson for you which you have recognised. Now what are you going to do with it?
Love Bean x