I'm at my wits end. I have been drinking for over 26 years now and am beginning to doubt I'll ever get a grip on this rotten addicition. I have tried to go clean so many times and gave in every time, thinking either I could handle it or I deserved it. I don't want to fail anymore. The stakes are getting higher. Yesterday morning I was drunk and drove my kid to school. This crazy stuff is frightening me but not enough that I can stop for once and for all. Are there any other chronic drinkers out there who can guide this one?
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Fell off yet again
Hi Philomena and :welcome:
I've done the drinking 1st thing in the morning, and it's not a nice place to be, But I promise you that if you want to beat this then you can, start by downloading the book, and reading as many posts here as you can.
There are so many supportive people here, we will all do our best to guide you on your way.
Love & Hugs :h :l :hsigpicXXX -
Fell off yet again
I can't really offer a lot of advise except...get back on the wagon. I can tell you that me and my best friend just decided this morning we are writing a movie script "the year I went Insane"....she doesn't drink!!! I have NEVER been in any trouble....this year I have totaled 3 cars, been arrested 3 times, should have been 4, but I cried my way out of one....left and ER AWOL...pulled IV out and all....got in a fist fight...I really lost it. Pick yourself....we can do this.... If you met me or knew me before, you would NEVER believe this. Start over, get whatever tools it takes, and pour yourself in to this site!!!!Comment
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Welcome philomena
You can do this. Have you tried the Kudzu and a med? Some like Topa, some like Campral. The stuff works along with the support you can get here. It really really works. Stick around. Damn, just the time you can spend here can keep your hands occupied so you don't crack any open. But, you can learn a lot. Eventually, you can find what works for you, and be so much happier. And as Luv said, don't judge yourself by what you do when you drink. That is not you. Please let the real you shine through. I'm sure you have a lot to offer. It's time to forgive yourself and move on. :welcome:
Luv - that is quite a resume you have there for the last year. Damn. Way to put it out there. Its nuts some of the stuff we done, isn't it? And I'm sure we all think we are the WORST. We think, nobody else behaves this way. Well, guess what guys. Thats what drunks do. We get arrested, end up in the ER, get into fights, blow a bunch of money, miss work, get fired, hurt our loved ones. The list goes on and on. Anyway, we are not bad people. We just screwed up. Now, we'll beat this demon together.where does this go?Comment
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Who's perfect?
Hey Philomena,
Lots of us have made some very silly mistakes. My God, some of the sh*t I've done embarrasses and scares me no end. I think the secret is, though, that we are still here, still trying and very aware of our own shortcomings.
Don't be too hard on yourself though.
Stick on in there!
Raoul
:lComment
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Resume' could be worse...I still have my career, my kids, and my life, AND TODAY to NOT DRINK. It could be way worse...bought a new car, healed the bruises, scraps, and bump....scares still there to remind me. Kids still love me and we live well, so if I get my head straight...we could far surpass this year and heal together. And so can everyone else!!!!Comment
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Luv - way to look at the good
Luv, I like that last post. No sense on focusing on the negative. I think the positives you listed far outweigh anything from the past. And I didn't mean to sound condescending. Just pointing out that we ALL have done some of those things. Apologies if I came off as a dick.where does this go?Comment
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Not at all Morrison.....I am not easily offened...Lucky and Lushy are my friends...if I were sensitive, I would be in tears daily....just kidding guy...I luvuboth. I was just saying that it LOOKS bad and IS bad, but it could always be worse. As long as you can still wake-up in the morning, you have a chance to make a difference in your life. That is what I meant!Comment
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my dear LUVUY....
if lucky and lushy are ur buds then u r in good hands.
I believe however that the TOPA and/or the CAMPRAL are truly a waste of time and $$.
(Sorry to offend anyone) I believe it is just a mindset.
IT IS EITHER TIME TO SH>T or GET OFF THE POT.
This crazy demon loves to hang on to whatever little bit of self respect we have.
My heart and my prayers are with you PHILOM... you just continue to pick yourself up and read all the posts you can.
We will be here to help you whenever we can.Comment
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I completely respect everyones decision to do or not do meds and supplements. I really hadn't intended to try either, but gotta tell you (I'm like a broken record) that kudzu works miracles for me. I'm near or at 60 days AF and, I swear this is true, it has been easy.
Good luck Philo -- my heart goes out to you.Mama T.
Found MWO Feb. 17, 2007Comment
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mammatee - that is great
mamatee, I'm happy to hear you've had such great success with the Kudzu. I'd love to get by on taking something "natural", but I don't have the confidence right now. I'll support anybodys decision on how they quit though. Even is the rx meds are a placebo, I'm fine with it. Maybe I'm a simple minded and impressionable individual, but I rather be simple and sober than drunk any day.
where does this go?Comment
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Morrison,
Couldn't agree more -- whatever it takes! I really was shocked at how effective the kudzo worked. I just assumed it was some "natural" mumbo jumbo that wouldn't do much. I kept asking myself "are you sure you don't want a drink?" Anyway, I thought your comment was very wise and intelligent.Mama T.
Found MWO Feb. 17, 2007Comment
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I respect everyone! But, I disagree that it is as easy as deciding to quit...I never DECIDED to start really. AND, you "got the power" to do it on your own, BRAVO to you...I don't. And I am willing to take all the help I can get.Comment
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Gateway~ what makes you think Campral/Topa is a waste of $$ ? Do you believe the same for the supps? This whole program was founded on RJ's findings of supps/Topa/exercise/CD's. Stop drinking-work something that MWO offers & suggests-now that's a mindset.
And yes I was offended-due to the fact that this program is based on Topa research-& newbies come here to look for advise & to say "anything to help someone break the habit" is a waste of $$ is wrong ~ especially when you have so many people here who are doing so well using Topa/Campral & supps.:flower: Change a life; make someone feel important. ................. ........................ ..................... ........................ ................. ....... sigpicComment
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Thank you all for your kind and thougthful words. I agree with you that I have to get back on the wagon. Sure, I'm full of resolve now in spite of this demoralization. The problem is that by the weekend my resolve just dribbles away to nothing. How can I maintain committment to abstinence?Comment
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