Fresh Start!!!!!

[abcowboy]

I agree! The Sobriety Bug is a great contagious remedy!

[paulywogg]

You're doing great Daisy and I don't care what anyone says about McDonald's, sometimes it just hits the spot!

[daisy45]

Yep, the sobriety bug is one I am happy to have! After having a sick bug over the weekend I now feel better than I did even last week.
3 weeks today and my feelings are only increasing about wanting to stay this way. I have had the most anxiety-filled year and do not want another like it! There were outside circumstances but alcohol made everything so much worse than it could have been.
I just don't want it in my life any more....I like who I am and how I feel without it.
And watching certain members reaching great milestones is so inspiring.....

[j-vo]

You sound great, Daisy!!!

[scottish lass]

Well done on your 3 weeks Daisy - I agree, it looks as if the members on this site are winning!
And McD's fries are one of my biggest treats!

[abcowboy]

I like who I am and how I feel without it

That's what it takes Daisy, believe in yourself and do it for yourself! You're rockin' it :hug:

[daisy45]

Thanks SL and Cowboy.
Checking in late at 2.30am.....still not sleeping early, but hey-ho, I'm sober!
My dishwasher broke yesterday so I googled and researched how to fix it....tried flushing it out, clearing filters, unblocking the pipe....still banjaxed! Damn! Ended up having to empty it with a jug and a turkey baster. I needed to dry it out as I will not be replacing it any time soon.
After that we put up our 2 trees and decorated, all set for Christmas....happy now it's done.
My sister's birthday is this week and she text tonight to invite me out to the Indian restaurant and a pub afterwards. Didn't text back yet but spoke to my daughter. I am very clear right now that even if I feel I am ok not to drink on the night, I am also very clear that there is no point in putting myself in a situation where I am taking chances....sober first!

[daisy45]

I must tell you all about one of the little girls I mind. She is five.
She was chatting last week, saying that before she came here she lived in her mum's belly, and before that she lived in Heaven. I asked how she got to live with her family. She said that God just picked a mum and dad who had the same after-name as her.
Then when I asked how she got from Heaven to here, she said ' sure my daddy has a car and he just picked me up'.
I then asked how her dad knew how to get there, she replied, ' you go down the road, take a left and there's a big sign that says Heaven!'
That told me!

[daisy45]

Day 23 and I feel free! Free of hangovers, self-loathing, shame, twitches, rashes, bloating, the GSR combination, poor self-care...........free from that poison!
I am tired this morning as I was awake to the early hours. I asked my daughter last night to bring me a strong coffee at 8am whether I was awake or not. I need my body clock reset so getting up early no matter how little sleep. My aim is to get 7am starts every day but taking it easy for now.
After putting my decorations up yesterday I thought how the day would traditionally end for me......house looking festive, fire lit, good television and 2 bottles of Chardonnay to celebrate and relish the loveliness around me.
My thought process did not take me there last night; I simply remembered how I used to feel, but more importantly I recalled with clarity the ending of that same night.....waking with an open window in the early hours, sometimes morning, no fireguard, lights on tree still on, maybe a burnt out cigarette in my hand, trying to sneak to bed before my girls caught me out......nothing festive there!
I fought so hard since drinking again to get back to sobriety and I do not want to go through that again.....so happy to be here right now!

[lifechange]

So happy to hear you sounding so strong in your quit, Daisy. Clear as a summer day in your thinking... I've also been around the block a few times, and when you mentioned the 2 bottles of Chardonnay, I got a sour taste in my throat and mouth. And I can almost feel the headache coming on. I wasted so many hours in front of some show or film, drinking till I passed out.. just like you said. Often began "innocently" and in good spirits.. still blind or ignoring what was to come. I'm so happy not to be there right now. I'm right next to you on not wanting to ever go back there again! Nice story about Heaven!!:hug:

[daisy45]

Thanks Lifechange.....yes, very sure of what I want. Actually there is so much I want in my life but by just being sober I know these things will come in time.....sober is first and foremost.
Looks like we are quit buddies.....glad to have you! The hardest part of drinking again is stopping again........this is very much in my mind if even a thought of alcohol comes to mind. Just got so fed up with that struggle....with drinking not being a option I really feel I am ready to go the whole hog now!
The wee girl I told you about is so cute and smart. We watched the Dear Santa movie about a little girl who writes to Santa to ask for a new mum as hers had died.
She was sitting beside me and said it would be so sad if her mum died. I agreed. Then she says she would be ok because she would go downtown and find a family with no kids who would take her. I explained that it wouldn't be the same because she would still really miss her own mum, to which she replied.....'well I will just pick one that is exactly the same.'

Another day she was on the toilet. She took ages so I called her and told her to hurry and come out. She told me to 'hang on a minute til I hammer this one out! ' Needless to say she was having a poo.....I nearly cried laughing.

I could bore you with stories about the kids.....love their craic.

[daisy45]

Had a lovely moment this morning while posting on roll call......could not remember what day I was on and had to look back before posting.
No kiddies today so I am taking my mum out shopping.....another thing I would not have been doing hungover.
Now when I even think of drinking I quickly think of what I am not willing to lose. Eloise mentioned she is not willing to drink as it would mean not riding her horse. That helped me change how I was thinking. Being so grateful for the sober gifts and wanting that more than drinking..........
I have been safely tucked into this thread since coming back.....I promised myself I would stay here until I get my 30 days before getting more involved.....looking forward to next week!

[abcowboy]

Gratitude is a big part of my successful quit Daisy, great to see that you understand that as well!

[j-vo]

Going good, Daisy...:welldone::hug:

[daisy45]

Hi Cowboy and J-vo. Had a wee moment earlier.....left my sister and 2 others downtown for a night out. They had a drink at home first, then took alcohol to the restaurant with them. I had a twinge of jealousy.....they were in great form and looking forward to the night ahead. I did say to myself that it is only a thought....a little uncomfortable but not much.
Well, roll on 6 hours and I pick them up......talking absolute shite, reeking of alcohol......now all I feel is relief that I am not part of that!