Fresh Start!!!!!

[daisy45]

Went to the pool and swam 64 lengths. Yay
Heading away tomorrow for an overnight stay in a hotel...gift from my girls. Going shopping and out for dinner with my 3 girls....shop till we drop!
So far, so good.....roll on day 5!

[Mr Vervill]

Way to go on the swimming Daisy! 64 lengths=1500 meters depending on the size of the pool (Meters vs yards), about 3/4 of a mile in the US. I usually swim 100 meters (40 lengths, a little over 1/2 mile). Bet you felt good when you finished. Keep it up!

[daisy45]

Thanks Mr Vervill....don't know what the pool length is but in our pool 64 lengths is a mile, hence the strange number. I normally do 50 but like to challenge myself.

[daisy45]

Just checked it out...pool is 25 metres.

[abcowboy]

Hey daisy, where did you get to? I was hoping to see a daily post from you here?

[paulywogg]

How are you Daisy?

[Knitty]

Hi Daisy, hope you are doing okay and that you had a lovely weekend.

[daisy45]

Hi Cowboy, Pauly and Knitty. Checked out for a few days. Got caught up in my 50th birthday celebrations. Had 6 AF days up to then. Now it is over I can concentrate on getting sober. The birthday thing was kind of hanging over me...I knew it would be a challenge....onwards and upwards from here.

[paulywogg]

That's the attitude and Happy 50th Birthday,let's spend the next 50 sober

[Pavati]

Hi, Daisy!

I just saw this. Welcome back, and hang on tight this time. Sober becomes you!

xo
Pav

[daisy45]

Thanks Pav....that is the goal!
Day 1 today.

[mama]

Hello All,

I am also looking for a Fresh Start. I REALLY REALLY REALLY want to STOP, but I have been so bad lately. I am so affraid that the drinking is going to ruin my marriage & family. They deserve better. I want to be a better person and I feel like a failuire.

Day 1....AGAIN.

[briseus]

Hello everyone. My fresh start as well too. Day 2 for me today.
You can do this Mama! Just get over the hump of Day one!
Congrats Daisy on Day 1!! Does this mean today Day 3??

[daisy45]

Hi Mama and Bri.....back to day 1 for me.... Have been offline as my i-pad had smashed. No excuses now. Today will be a reading day.

[abcowboy]

Howdy everyone! Daisy, I really like the name of this thread “Fresh Start”. Every day 1 is a fresh start, but you all know that the amount of day 1’s isn’t limitless, one day that first drink will take you to a place there’s no coming back from, a hole so deep you won’t be able to climb out of. I don’t want any of you to reach for the drink that will take you there! Let’s stop and think about why we slip/relapse. Relapses don’t start when you pick up. They begin before, when your mind leads you to a place where you can’t do anything but drink. The place that many in AA call the prelapse. You know you’re on the verge of a relapse. You can feel it coming. You can feel it building inside of you, like a small quiet tornado of hopelessness tinged with anger. Every day you fight the urge to get loaded, to quiet those whispers in your brain and numb that aching in your sternum. “Not today,” you tell yourself, and limp through another tortuous 24 hours. But the whirlwind of despair is growing and you know you’re just waiting for that one small thing to tip you off into a binge of self-destruction.

You can’t drink. You know this. But when you’re an alcoholic on the verge of a relapse, nothing “makes” you get loaded. You’ve already decided. You already have your reason, you want to drink more than you want to be sober! You’re just looking for an excuse and anything will do. And that is all they will be, excuses. Then a day or two later, it happens. You get the excuse you need and you feel that switch flip. When you open the bottle and drink, it goes down smoothly. You wait for that “Ahhh” feeling, for that moment when ease or numbness or pleasure clicks in. Nothing. You don’t remember the progression but the next thing you know, you’re shitfaced. And then the phone calls start. All those things you needed to tell all those people that you suddenly feel they really need to hear right now. You have no idea what you say but know for sure it was dramatic confessions or the words of your hidden hatred. In other words, nothing good and nothing you shouldn’t have kept to yourself.

Your relapse didn’t scratch that itch of oblivion like you thought it would. It wasn’t a relief. It wasn’t even a release. It didn’t feel like you opened some valve and let out all the pent-up pressure. And most of it you couldn’t even remember. And what you could remember made you feel nothing but shame. No doubt now that you’re an alcoholic and will never be able to moderate, you just had to prove it to yourself once more—ideally for the final time. The next time you think you have the right excuse to drink, ask yourself “Do I want to drink or do I want to be sober?” The answer you give yourself will determine if you’ll stick with your quit or slip back into a relapse.

I know that all of us has a final quit in us, but I also know that many reach the point of no return. I really care for each of you, I don’t want any of you to take the path of no return, so stay on the road to recovery, no more taking the fork in the road eh!