Fresh Start!!!!!

[daisy45]

Thank you so much for this Abcowboy.......what can I say. I know you are so right.....no more excuses!

[All done drinking]

I am also looking for a Fresh Start. I REALLY REALLY REALLY want to STOP, but I have been so bad lately. I am so affraid that the drinking is going to ruin my marriage & family. They deserve better. I want to be a better person and I feel like a failuire.

Hi mama and everyone,

I am a fairly new quitter (a little under one month). I latched onto a saying that says "I made a million vows to control my drinking, I made only one vow to quit." I posted on newbie's nest last night about my delusion of moderation and why it didn't work for me. If you read between the lines, you will see why it doesn't work for most people who have drinking problems. By the time most folks find this place, it's pretty evident the shut off valve is faulty and it doesn't fix itself. The only thing that works is the person eventually coming to terms with the fact that they have a problem and that with alcohol being the primary problem, the other problems will remain or get worse with drinking. It has to come to the fact that other people in our lives are more important than alcohol. I remember reading something by Jamie Lee Curtis (actress who quit drinking) that she discovered she was having problems in her life and alcohol was the common denominator.

What is REALLY helping me is the accountability. I post on the newbie's nest roll call everyday and something as simple as that makes me not want to blow it - I want to keep rolling with adding on the new days.

I am really utilizing the site here to get help from more experienced folks who have quit and made it stick. A few AFers have offered phone numbers to call if I am struggling, have become fb friends (seeing a real person helps that online friendship be more real), and have posted now and before their stories and tales where something seems to always resonate the day I really need something. I know you have been here a long time and have far more support with friends here than I do. Lean on them, lean on me. PM me. Jump on the ride with me and start posting your days on Newbie's roll call with me. You/we CAN do th:love:is!

Addy (All Done Drinking...Yes!) :love:

[daisy45]

After saying 'no more excuses', I am back with an excuse! Really ready to start yesterday. 2 old friends arrived in the evening armed with 2 bottles of wine. They are home on holiday from Canada and I rarely see them. Felt I had to join them....really did not want to but anyway, not the best fresh start!
Now to get back on the sober train.

[All done drinking]

Tat, Bri, Mama, daisy, and anyone else this applies to,

I have found it VERY helpful to post my daily AF days on the newbie roll call thread. It truly makes me accountable and makes it easier to say no to the temptation because I do post there and want to keep racking up the days.

Also, we have so many good threads here at MWO, but we almost seem to have too many as there is such scattered good information that one spends so much time jumping around threads. For that reason and also to create a thread that was really focusing on recovery help, abcowboy and I started a thread with a weekly topic (as well as whatever else people felt the need to post) called "dedicated to the quit I love". Would love to see you all visit that thread and share info. The theme this week is boredom and we can all relate to that as new quitters. For me on vacay, giving up happy hour feels like "Now what do I do?" So, weekly we'll be discussing something to reinforce our desire to quit and stay strong in the process. Have a good day all.

Together we can DO this!

Addy (All Done Drinking...Yes!) :love:

[daisy45]

Addy, great idea on discussing certain topics. Will def check that out.
My day 1 changed again and is now Wednesday 12 August......at last! Day 2 done today. A relief to get back!
Now to put in some work and start living life the way it should be!

[daisy45]

Day 3! So happy to get my day 3.....already feel better! Gotta keep it rockin' now!

[daisy45]

Got to listen to 2 clearing hypno cds from MWO yesterday. Then today went to the gym and listened to the bubble hour. Trying to get all this into my routine before our work really starts with all the children back to school in September.
Hoping to take on another 2 which will be 8 kids altogether. Won't find out until next week.
Feeling pretty much happy right now....watched a film last night called I Am Kate, about an alcoholic mother who gets sober through an intervention, then rehab. Interesting! It showed the stages, denial, acceptance, and the struggle with accepting her past and moving forward. Very good.
Wish I knew of more films. Any suggestions?
So want this to be my time.....

[Eloise]

not films but I do so love listening to the Bubble Hour Daisy.
You know I see a lot of people here that work with children. I do too. They can really test the patience, I do not think I would have been able to kick the wine habit while I was working in a school.
I still teach, but see on average 30-35 kids a week, not 300.
It is tough. You are doing the right thing, keep at it!! It is so much easier to stay patient with the kids without a hangover. I feel terrible thinking of the times I was at school completely hung over and needing a nap but having to teach instead.

[daisy45]

Eloise, I want to be the best that I can. I absolutely adore children....I messed up at times when my own kids were young. I am and have been in the process of changing for 5 years now....time to finally accept that life is better in every way sober!
The kids we (my daughter and myself) mind adore us and we do them. I want to give them memories.....lovely ones!
You are my hero Eloise....I hear/read how differently your posts are now compared to when you and I started together....I want some of that!

[daisy45]

Just got 50 lengths in the pool.....now for the rest of my day.....this sober living is an adventure!

[abcowboy]

El, I really liked your post, it made me think of me lol. I am a bit of a perfectionist when it comes to work. I don't advertise my business, I just use word of mouth and happy, satisfied customers to do my advertising for me. But I know on the mornings of my many hangovers, my work never reached the high standard I set for myself and my customers. I thought, "it's good enough, it meets code and will pass inspection" Now I remember what my son told the various helpers that I've hired, "just because you think it's good enough, it probably won't be for my dad" lol. Now, I'm back to doing meticulous work, doing it to the best of my ability, and at the end of the day knowing there wasn't anything I could have done better. And I bet you felt the same way when drinking, "did the kids get the best possible education they should have today?"

It is truly amazing what the gift of sobriety gives us back, and it's another thing to be grateful for!

[lifechange]

You're kicking butt, Daisy!! So happy to see you feeling positive and full of hope and ready to get on with the adventure of your life! There's a good "Online Media Tools" thread that NS started, full of good movie recommendations, TED talks etc. that I just bumped for you.. under General Discussion.. thanks for your rec., too. will look out for that.
Strength to you!!!

[daisy45]

Thanks so much Lifechange!

[daisy45]

Over 24 hrs with no internet access. Hopefully getting fixed on Wednesday.
A great, busy weekend. Sunday morning my mum wanted me to go to a special mass with her. We don't normally go to that one. Went in, took our seats. Priest got up and said 'Mass is eneded!' Soooo embarrassed. Everyone was looking.....big red face! Mum got the time wrong.
Then took mum for a drive to visit family and friends. My daughter and I done a 6 mile walk in the sun, then out for dinner.....a good, busy day. I am trying to put extra into my days.....realise how much I have been wasting time.....sooo much time.
Today I went to the gym and listened to the bubble hour. Easier to workout when listening....
A discussion about the shame and guilt we tend to feel, even when life is going well. They equated this to a voice in your head saying ' who do you think you are?'
You feel bad when you mess up and equally as bad when life is good.....like you are unworthy. Getting sober means facing up to these feeings, recognising them and moving forward.
Love the bubble hour! Going for a swim now and then lots of paperwork and phone calls.....getting prepared for next years work.
Day 6 for me....

[Starfish1]

Daisy :hug:

You sound GREAT! I am so glad WE are having a fresh start together again!

I love it when I have a friend to keep up with or to follow b/c it helps me keep the numbers straight on roll call (I always forget which day I'm on and have to look it up)!

"The mass is ended!" Haha...All you could do then, was "Go in peace!" Right!?

Sounds like you had a wonderful day in spite of the mix up. I need to start exercising like you do. Get me motivated!

Love you! Have a great day!