Fresh Start!!!!!

[Guitarista]

Yay Daisy. Kick some ass!

[idefineme]

Fresh start, Daisy! Nice, graceful come back!

[Eloise]

Ok, well nothing to be done but jump back on that wagon. In the beginning I had to avoid going out. I knew I couldnt not have a glass of wine.
It is really hard in the beginning. I remember not drinking for a week seemed next to impossible. It is possible though, you have to take the option off the table as Byrdie says. Then it gets easier. Making that decision will change your life, it did mine.

[paulywogg]

Daisy,I agree with everyone else, you can do this,that first week is always a bitch for everyone!maybe hunker down and stay in for a bit or eat at places with no booze,I've done the exact same thing you did before,fantasize how great it will be to have a drink,take one,want more,no buzz,just depressed,alone in a heap,not fun! Glad you're here

[NoSugar]

Never quit trying, Daisy. As long as you try, there is hope. My hope is that you put a new tool in place to avoid what derailed you each time - learning from mistakes moves us closer and closer to our goal, right? xx, NS

[Mr Vervill]

Way to go on the new start Daisy, You CAN do this. We know you can, because every single one of us on this thread has been where you are right now. Next time you want that drink, think how bad you felt on Sunday. In your words, "No enjoyment....just disappointment in myself, feeling deflated and hopeless". For me the No enjoyment says it all. We're all here for you.

[scottish lass]

Sorry Daisy - I know how much this hurts, but you are keeping on trying and that is what counts!
You are believed here too :hug:

[paulywogg]

Hey Daisy,how are you? Check in please

[daisy45]

Hi Pauly....didn't get my day one yesterday but definitely back today. Day 1 is almost done.
I need to do this once and for all.....cannot bear living with alcohol any longer..
I want to know how I can finally do this. I keep trying but there must be something I am not getting.

[NoSugar]

Daisy, It is hard not to sound like 'my way or the highway' or something like that but that's not what I mean. These are just my observations about the process and my experience. For me, I had to get to the point of being ready to do anything other than drink, even if that meant not doing some things I actually wanted to do or others expected me to do. For example, it might have been better for you to skip that lunch that derailed you. Unless you've thought it out and have a 99% fail-safe plan for social events, maybe you should skip them until you're to that point. Maybe some people are able to quit while otherwise living the same life they had while actively drinking but I think it would be pretty tough. It will seem at first like all you do is think about how you're going to not drink (and how to manage that) but after awhile, it gets easier. You can do some social things without almost casually ordering a glass of wine. At the point where we quit, we're pretty sick. I hope you can give yourself the time and space (from outside pressures and influences) to heal. xx, NS

[Guitarista]

Good stuff on day 1 Daisy. Let the real you come out and shine. Leave all the BS thinking behind.

[daisy45]

Hind sight is wonderful....I hope I have learned. I keep thinking I have then I feck it up.
How do you get that final acceptance. Today I feel like I am sure I will not drink again, but in a few days......
No drinking No Matter What! I have to stand by this.

[NoSugar]

Daisy, The real you is thinking today -- in a few days, it will be the addicted part of your brain having its say. That is why it is so important for the real you to put systems in place NOW so that there is no way for the addicted brain to have its way later. This includes things like no alcohol in the house, not taking $ or credit cards with you if you go out, etc. That part of your brain will rear its ugly head. I think that happened to all of us. But you don't have to listen and you certainly don't need to let it have its way. You've heard it before, you know it's coming, and you can be ready. I was always so shocked that the real me swore I wouldn't drink in the morning and addicted me was breaking every promise I made by 4 pm!! Crazy!! At least you have a couple days to get your systems in place!!

[daisy45]

Thanks No Sugar. I am pulling in any tool I can. I have told my girls and they want to know how to help. I will sit down with them tomorrow to sort out what I need at home.
I only had one wine glass which I threw in the trash earlier today. No drink in the house.

[j-vo]

Hi Daisy,
From one oldie newbie to another oldie newbie (no, I'm absolutely not talking about our age!), you can get this. I've struggled just as you have. I feel this quit is very different for me and I want to share with you some of my thoughts and hope it helps you.

I know you're a bright and beautiful woman, with beautiful daughters that take after you. You have quit before, and you can do it again. This last quit of mine has been different because of one thing. I hate myself when I'm a drunk. Drinking has deprived me of a quality life. Yes, I have gone through the motions of life, but existing is not living. Alcohol makes me hate myself, so the only alternative, is to not drink and love myself. I gave up. I gave up on believing I was being deprived of alcohol and started to realize and believe that alcohol deprived me of everything. I surrendered to the poison, because that's what it is, a poison that was ruining my mental and physical health, my mind, body and spirit. I won't fight it anymore, because it's not worth my time. I know there is so much more in me, and I can't wait to find out what I'm really capable of feeling, capable of experiencing. Another key that has helped me is accepting that I cannot ever safely drink alcohol. I've always tried to drink safely, but I have never, ever succeeded. So how many times do I have to try? I believe time is up, that I have given it my all to be a moderate drinker, and it aint ever gonna happen (that's nice for a Language Arts teacher!). Really, I'm a pretty determined person, and I believe that I can accomplish a lot, but not this. So I'll give up, and accept that I'm ready to live a different life, one where I can love myself. Alcohol will not exist in my world anymore. I became really afraid that I would lose the battle before I won. I'm an alcoholic, and that's never going to change in my lifetime...alcoholism is one of the cards I was dealt. But in my lifetime, I can be a much happier person, one that can live without the anguish, depression, anxiety, hangovers and pain. Yeah, those were the gifts of alcohol. Pretty nice gifts. All I can say is thank God that I can throw those gifts away forever. I'll take peace, love, and health. Those gifts sound much better to me.

You have the strength to do this. It's in you. You have your beautiful daughters to live for, and live for yourself. You have a good life, and it can only get better without alcohol. That's the alternative. Loving yourself. :hug: