Fresh Start!!!!!

[daisy45]

Ah, I was writing the list about drinking and not about quitting. Will have another go and see how I do. Thanks for this Cowboy.....

[abcowboy]

I think I kind of explained it wrong, but I know it helped me a lot....

[Choices]

3 days is great Daisy! Well earned.. The body was really fighting for me on those days. I hope your feeling ok. I think I understand the want side of things. Like I want to stay sober so I can be healthy to do the things I like to do. Is that kinda the thinking? Instead of I need to be sober because I don't want to hurt my family... .? I see where this is a good exercise for sure.. I'll see if I can come up with a list too.

[abcowboy]

Exactly Choices! When we say I need, we tend to think in terms of other people, when we say I want, we tend to be thinking of ourselves. In order to get and stay sober, and be happy with sobriety, the "wants" have to exceed the "needs"

[daisy45]

Hi Choices and Cowboy. Took me until tonight to get time to do this again. Interesting how it makes you think. After doing this exercise I feel it has made me more determined to make it work. I labelled each one want or need and some got both. There are more wants than needs.
I can have a lovely life through being sober and doing this has helped me see it more clearly.

[daisy45]

Day 5 feels good. Went to the gym with my daughters, listened to bubble hour while I worked out. Glad I didn't stay away after messing up last week.

[abcowboy]

Daisy, it's great to hear optimism in your voice again! Don't let go of this feeling!

[scottish lass]

I am glad you didn't stay away either Daisy - we keep coming back and we know that it just has to stick, and hopefully this is our time!

[daisy45]

Hey Cowboy and ScotLass. Yes, feel so much better. Quietly optimistic.
Cooked a massive roast dinner and starters for my son coming home for the weekend. He called last night to say he couldn't make it as he is sick. Invited my mum and brother and his family. My sister-in-law brought a bottle of red wine. Mum and my brother had a glass each and left the rest behind. I did have a wee peek but no thoughts of drinking. My daughters took the bottle round to my sisters house to get rid of it.
Last Sunday should have been 7 days but tomorrow WILL be! Been a little lazy this week, more thinking than doing but I am happy with that. As long as I am sober I have time to add a little bit extra to my life as I go.

[j-vo]

That's right Daisy. We both are probably thinking lots, and we'll get to the other stuff eventually.

[abcowboy]

Ladies, right now it's all about you! Forget the rest, it'll take care of itself till you're ready! :hug:

[daisy45]

Yay, soo happy to get my first week in. Feeling more confident this week. Sleep needs a bit of adjusting but I can do that as I go along.
Just feeling relieved to finally get back on the sober train. Was getting so fearful. I look back on this past 9 months as wasted. Yes, I got by, existed, but it was not what I would consider living as it should be.
I have work to do on myself in order to stay strong and continue on this path.

[starty]

Nice work Daisy!!! It will get easier but NEVER get complacent.

[daisy45]

Starty I am so aware of all my pitfalls. I just want so much not to let them get in my way this time. My main thing, where I go wrong, is getting well and believing I am normal.....I need to keep this one in mind.
My last AF stretch was cut short at 89 days....self-sabotage at its best! I always think, if I can just get past that 90 I will be able to do it......so what does that say about me? Is there part of me not accepting that this is how I need to live? These are questions I am asking myself now......

[daisy45]

Today was good. Up early and cycled 20k on my exercise bike, then off shopping with my daughter. She asked how I felt about drinking this week....told her there was something different, that I don't feel the same struggle as before....the choice has been taken away from me. I feel I have made a decision....anyway, feeling a very grateful day 8.