Fresh Start!!!!!

[abcowboy]

You're the one doing the driving Daisy, I'm just along for the ride and help keep you steered in the right direction :hug:

[j-vo]

Congrats on your 30 Dear Daisy!!!!!:welldone:

[Choices]

Huge congrats on 30 days Daisy! Well done!

[Choices]

"[This is a day when drinking would have been a must for me....just to get away from how I feel."

That part is exactly how I felt when I slipped. I'm so happy that you rode it out.

I tried doing the quote thing but I didn't get it right. Those feelings can be so intense. I almost wonder if I became overwhelmed because I unconsciously wanted to drink. And sabotaged myself without knowing it. It was as if nothing in my sober bag of tricks was going to work to ease how I felt except poison. I'm trying to put my finger on that feeling. Is it an emotion? Everything became a trigger to me that day.. And when I decided to drink I even thought well, hubby shouldn't have had alcohol in the house. Which is kind of silly as I could have poured it out and he wouldn't of cared.

[kuya]

Fantastic work Daisy and Life change......so nice to see.

Onwards and upwards! :welldone:

[daisy45]

"[This is a day when drinking would have been a must for me....just to get away from how I feel."

That part is exactly how I felt when I slipped. I'm so happy that you rode it out.

I tried doing the quote thing but I didn't get it right. Those feelings can be so intense. I almost wonder if I became overwhelmed because I unconsciously wanted to drink. And sabotaged myself without knowing it. It was as if nothing in my sober bag of tricks was going to work to ease how I felt except poison. I'm trying to put my finger on that feeling. Is it an emotion? Everything became a trigger to me that day.. And when I decided to drink I even thought well, hubby shouldn't have had alcohol in the house. Which is kind of silly as I could have poured it out and he wouldn't of cared.

Choices, I was at bursting point that night. And honestly, I knew that I would have found relief if I had drank.....BUT, I have had the worst year, plagued with anxiety, seeing symptoms I consider dangerous after drinking, struggling to get a few sober days.....i had to really look at the bigger picture. I am afraid to go back to where I was and all I have to do is not drink. After 5 long years on and off this site I feel I have finally accepted my truth....one drink will bring me back to that shitty existence.
I am finding it is getting easier to just not drink.....in comparison to the pain and struggle of being caught in the trap and struggling to get out.
I am glad I rode that one out...my worst in the 30 days. I was irritable, snapping at my kids, silent in my misery, depressed, sad, tearful, livid angry(no wonder my girls fecked off to bed!). It hurt more because I knew I could get that 'fix' and get some relief and that still looked good to me even knowing I would black out....that had become my norm!
Again, BUT, I know what happens next! I want sober more than drunk....has taken me a long, long time to accept this.....

[abcowboy]

Daisy, I just wanted to say how impressed I am to see you reaching out to others offering support! When we help others, we also help ourselves!

[lifechange]

Awesome, Daisy..

[Choices]

I think the next time I feel that way, I'll take a page from your book. And just be all of the above to get through. Thanks for sharing your experience. Of riding that wave out. I know the day will come where I will need to do the same.

[daisy45]

Choices, riding that wave continued over 3 days.....but so glad I came out sober! That was a toughie for me so I hope it has helped build some strength for future situations.
Having big sleep issues....it is almost 5am and just about to turn out the lights......goodnight all!

[lifechange]

Hi Daisy,
just cruising by to say hello and give you a big hug!!
i have such a busy week with work and the kids.. so that's all I'm good for till the weekend.. stay strong and focussed and grateful and know you're loved very much!!

[daisy45]

Lfechange, thank you so much....you have been a constant support to me since coming back.
No kids this morning....the first one comes at noon, but I got up at 9.30.......4 and a half hours sleep. I have read somewhere here about vitD helping with sleep.... next on my to-do list.

[lifechange]

Hey Daisy,
looks like 40 days today for you!!!
how are you feeling with Christmas coming upon us?
I am soooo happy to be sober right now and feel like I'm getting stronger each day.. I really hope you're also doing well.. Let's remember, in case it gets difficult, to do WHATEVER we have to not to drink..I keep thinking that coming through the stress of the season, having stuck to my guns, will do wonders for my self confidence. For my outlook on life..

[Guitarista]

Hiya Daisy. How r u doing?

[Pavati]

What's up, Daisy?