The Final Walk Of Shame

[mlisa]

Today I did my final walk of shame to the recycling centre to get rid of bags & bags of booze - just the empties from the last few days. Looked like it'd been a party for 20+...but no, just my empties. Old boy who was getting rid of a few jars asked if it had been a good party. I just laughed & said yeah, I guess so.

Today is Day 2 AF & also the day I started on Antabuse. I'm hopeful for the future for the first time in more years than I can remember.

I've always been a heavy drinker/problem drinker, but the last 3 years have been off the scale. Blackouts every night, collapsing, alienating friends, feeling in a constant state of depression & anxiety....the list goes on.

This is me, Lisa, 45 years old & about to get a grip on my life, finally.

[paulywogg]

The Final Walk Of Shame

Go for it Lisa,youve got nothing to lose but everything to gain,i wish you strength

[Suesue]

The Final Walk Of Shame

Good for you Lisa. You can do it. You know it's the best thing you can do for yourself.

[columbia]

The Final Walk Of Shame

great start lisa....a willingness is the beginning of recovery....stay close....

[satz123]

The Final Walk Of Shame

Ah Liza - you sound great ! and it only gets better
Keep posting and I'll follow your progress !.
I wish you all the best of luck on your exciting journey :thumbsup:

[broken halo]

The Final Walk Of Shame

welcome lisa, did that exact same walk of shame the other day after pouring the last half bottle of wine down the sink.. I can identify with your story. All of it. You have made the right decision and this site is here to help you. Let's make that our last walk of shame!

[Rosie70]

The Final Walk Of Shame

Just to say that I will be supporting you.

[K9Lover]

The Final Walk Of Shame

Welcome Lisa!

I am behind you all the way on this too! You're braver than me, my last empties just went into the City recycling can that I rattled out to my curb. I couldn't face the people at the recycling center. And I also didn't want to load up ALL those bags of empty beer cans into my car and have them dripping all over the place. UGH

Good for you for taking Antabuse. I have been on it for a very long time. I can honestly say that Antabuse and MWO have saved my life! Please stick around. You are among friends here :l

K9

[Sake123]

The Final Walk Of Shame

Hi Lisa - Sounds like you're on a great path here! The real party is just starting!
This forum has helped me so much...it hasn't been long but I can tell you I have not once regretted my decision. Not even for a moment.

[mlisa]

The Final Walk Of Shame

Feeling the love in the room tonight - thanks all. It means a lot. It's only you guys that know I'm doing this. I've not told anyone else as I know I'll get those "we've heard this all before" looks. They have, hundreds of times. I've always talked a good stopping drinking talk.
Feeling tired, so think it'll be an early night with a hot chocolate. I almost feel a fraud saying that, as that is not me!!! Well, that wasn't me...that is me now!

[K9Lover]

The Final Walk Of Shame

Lisa -
I don't even tell my daughter I am quitting smoking "again". I just quit and then go "guess what, I haven't smoked in ____ days!"....unfortunately I keep caving. When I beat my own record of 82 days I will tell her again. LOL

Hot chocolate sounds like a good way to end the day. Do you like to read? I love getting in bed with a good book (my, how times have changed...LOL)

Good job gettin' through the day....repeat again tomorrow

K9

[mlisa]

The Final Walk Of Shame

Thanks K9. I love to read & it's something I've been rediscovering the last few months as I've tried the have the odd sober night (that meant 1 bottle & not 2!) ...trouble is, I've read a few chapters under the influence & then had to start all over again...bloomin' time consuming! Now, I'll be able to read & remember! Woo hoo, liking this already!
I've bought about 5 new books all on the alcohol theme, mainly people quitting & their story, that kind of stuff. Good to remind me of how bad it all can get when I start to feel confident that I can moderate, like normal folk...which of course I can't, else I wouldn't be on AB!

[spiderwoman]

The Final Walk Of Shame

Enjoy your early night Lisa, a soak in the bath, some chocolate and an early night is now my favourite treat, used to be a couple of bottles of chardonnay with gin & tonic night caps. You'll love your new life

[K9Lover]

The Final Walk Of Shame

I have found that even sober I have to go back and read the previous page...to catch up on what I missed when I was nodding off. LOL

I read a lot of addiction/recovery books in the beginning and sometimes I still do. It's a good reminder of how far we've come, and where we never want to go back to!

[MossRose]

The Final Walk Of Shame

Lisa - I just wanted to say welcome and glad you are here. I too have just renewed my love affair with books again after many years. As K9 said, crawling into bed at night with a good book, sober and relaxed, is pure heaven. And yes, I understand the shame of way too many empties in the recycling bin. I used to hide garbage bags full of them in my shed and put them out out over the course of several weeks so my neighbors wouldn't see how much I drank. Uck. Life does get so much better. Looking forward to getting to know you.