I hate me, and you should too.

[rainerios]

I have a great family. I have a loving husband and adorable boys. Also, I'm pregnant with my third child. A girl. My beautiful girl.
And fuck me. I'm an alcoholic. And being pregnant hasn't stopped me. I am so scummy that a pregnancy that I am thrilled about can not stop me from buying that bottle of vodka. No matter how strong my resolve when I wake up in the morning I always manage to justify one more bottle by nightfall. I can't stand myself. I can't stop myself. And I can't shard just hoe far gone I am with my husband.

[rainerios]

I hate me, and you should too.

That's right. I'm THAT much of an asshole.

[Guitarista]

I hate me, and you should too.

Hi Rainerios,

Welcome.

I hear you. You are not scummy. What time is it there, and what are your plans for the day or evening?

G bloke

[Guitarista]

I hate me, and you should too.

There's a great thread here that you might find useful for support and a yap. It's called the Newbies nest.

Click on the blue link below.

https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...est-30074.html

[lifechange]

I hate me, and you should too.

Dear Rainerios, I'm sorry you are in so much pain. you aren't scummy and we wouldn't hate you.:l But. in my opinion, being a mother myself, you need to get professional help as soon as possible. Please go to your doctor and ask for help with this. We can help support you here, but it can take time-- and with the responsibility of the little life inside of you, you need to stop drinking NOW, and it sounds like you need someone, preferably a doctor, present to help. Please don't wait to do this--Do you have someone?

[treetops]

I hate me, and you should too.

I echo what was said - please see your doctor and tell them the truth. We can help here but IMO you do need face to face support and advice. Its overwhelming being a mother, being pregnant and balancing all the demands of family life. Its also overwhelming being an alcoholic. You have made a crucial step in admitting that you are an alcoholic - and thats what we are here. We may have different labels for this, and we may have different life stories, drinking histories and so on - but we are addicts. And there is some very good advice and amazing support among us addicts about stopping.
So head to the newbies nest.
And see the doctor.
And post here and let us know what your plans are. It sounds as if you don't hit the bottle until the evening. How will today be?
Finally we do not hate you. Those thoughts are the AL - and the day-after from AL talking. Its saying 'I am your only friend' and 'i understand you'. The bottle speaks bullshit and lies.
And you are telling us - the bottle actually makes you hate yourself.
You can change this - but just think of today - and please get help.
Lots of hugs:h

[broken halo]

I hate me, and you should too.

Rainerios :l

Welcome to MWO! You don't have to be perfect. No one is perfect. Let's take it a day at a time, eh? Let us help you today. You reached out, it's the least we can do. Just for one day, give yourself a break from the madness. Just one day, that's what I'm doing. We'll be here. :l

[mlisa]

I hate me, and you should too.

Hi Rainerios,
No one hates you, but alcohol ends up making us all hate ourselves. That's why we're all here, trying to ditch the devil & learn to love ourselves again.
It's hard enough as it is, but you have such a wonderful reason to stop. The gift of a baby.
As the others have said, please get some professional help to help you with your drinking & your pregnancy. You need help to protect your beautiful little girl in there. They will take you seriously & you will get help, please do it now before it's too late for your baby.
Lisa.

[K9Lover]

I hate me, and you should too.

Welcome Rain,
We don't hate you. We understand what a bastard alcohol is. I agree with the others that you should go see a doctor as soon as possible. They CAN help you. We are here for you too. Please keep posting and let us know how you're doing.
K9

[Starfish1]

I hate me, and you should too.

Great advice from everyone, Rain! We all understand!
Hey, until you can get to the doctor, just make sure you are eating a lot, okay? That will benefit you and your sweet daughter and will dilute the effects of the alcohol- right? Eating will also help with the Alcohol cravings!
Take care of yourself, Rain and keep in touch.

[Sake123]

I hate me, and you should too.

I don't think anyone is here to judge others. Alcohol is a vicious and evil addiction. But like others on the thread, I hope you will get help right away before it's too late. You don't have to do this by yourself (and clearly can't). Get some professional help so that you can be a healthy host to your unborn child. There is help!! Reach out right now, to someone who can help you. Please...not only for you but for you boys, husband and that precious baby girl. Wishing you peace and sobriety!!

[broken halo]

I hate me, and you should too.

How are you doing there, Rainerios? I've been thinking about you. No one is here to judge you. Please let us know how you are doing. Maybe join us in the newbies nest? Or PM me if you want to chat. :l

[MossRose]

I hate me, and you should too.

Rain - I'm really glad you are here, and no one hates you. But please forgive me, I'm going to be a little harsher than the rest. You must stop drinking immediately. This is very serious. Perhaps it's because I have a dear friend who's sister was born with fetal alcohol syndrome. She is in her 50s now, and still needs full-time care. I would say I'm not trying to scare you, but I would be lying. I know how hard it is. I've been a raging alkie most of my adult life. In fact, my only real stretches of sobriety until now was when I was pregnant. Yes, it was hard, but oh so worth it.

Please, please see a doctor immediately. Does your husband drink? Does he know you are still drinking? I'm just curious what your situation is and what you are dealing with as far as AL is concerned. I'm not judging you. I'm really not. That would make me a huge hypocrite, but I am concerned.

Sending love and huge hugs to you. Please keep posting. We will be here for you EVERY STEP of the way.

[gettinitright]

I hate me, and you should too.

I wouldn't even try to detox alone. Please seek medical attention. You and the baby could die during detox. It's tough stuff!! You and your baby deserve a happy healthy pregnancy.

[broken halo]

I hate me, and you should too.

You must stop drinking immediately

Rose, I am going to take a wild guess that Rain knows this. Easier said than done, as we know. Everyone should stop drinking immediately, especially those like Rain who are carrying precious babies. If it were that easy, she wouldn't be posting here.

Rain, if you are drinking a bottle a day you do need help. However, I have heard many people who have drank through pregnancy and their babies have been fine. I can only imagine how scared you must be. Please don't be frightened away, this is a good place and we can help you if you let us. :l