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    Marathon Running Alcoholic

    Hi everyone. I'm here because I have a hangover this morning. Despite many failed attempts to abstain from alcohol (including a 2 year successful stretch in 2007-2009) I am now 5 years down the line since I thought I had quit.

    I can't go into too much detail yet. But i've half made the decision to give this up once again. I say only half, because I know in my heart I must. But my head is playing its usual tricks on me (what go through the rest of my life without being allowed to have a glass of wine with fish is one such mind game). I say I must, because every time I drink now my liver hurts. I know at 42 that if I don't stop drinking I will go the same way as a colleague (an old drinking partner) who died 2 months ago aged 52. Chronic liver disease.

    I have drunk since the age of 17. Really, fairly heavily (but not rampantly). But certainly in excess of 50-60 units a week and at some points in my life even heavier than that. I think nothing of drinking 8 cans of lager of a friday night, and often more than 4 on a weekday. Certainly as much as a bottle of wine in one night, or as much as 4 pints of lager. On an easy night. I am regularly drunk. But I function.

    And yes. I am a veteran of running 4 London marathons. How can I be a marathon runner, but also an alcoholic? Can someone explain that for me? I have been writing a journal on and off since I went 60 days without alcohol at the beginning of last year. I will post excerpts here. Please help me give this up. It is causing enormous pressure on me, my marriage. I have three beautiful children and so much to live for.:new:

    #2
    Marathon Running Alcoholic

    Hi Matt

    You must really be feeling it this morning. How can you be a marathon runner and an alkie? Easy. I can justify drinking by being good at my job, going to the gym, being fit. I can do all that and still down a couple of bottles of wine of an evening.

    Do you really want to stop drinking? If so, do it today. Just for today. And stick around and post and read.:goodjob:
    Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it! ~ Goethe

    Comment


      #3
      Marathon Running Alcoholic

      broken halo;1571518 wrote: Hi Matt

      You must really be feeling it this morning. How can you be a marathon runner and an alkie? Easy. I can justify drinking by being good at my job, going to the gym, being fit. I can do all that and still down a couple of bottles of wine of an evening.

      Do you really want to stop drinking? If so, do it today. Just for today. And stick around and post and read.:goodjob:
      I have realised immediately Broken Halo that just by looking around this site, how important it is to communicate with people who can relate to my problem. The wrong people are people who do not have a drink problem. They simply don't understand. Thanks for replying. Today is really really hard as it has been every time i've had to face up to this. I am feeling very emotional today. Quite down really. Your comments are comforting because I can down 8 cans of lager and then go and run 5 miles at 10am. I come back feeling like shit, but tell myself that If I can do that, then i can't possibly be an alcoholic. My friend died 2 months back of chronic liver disease aged 52. I am 42. I drink more than she did. I know I have to stop.:thanks:

      Comment


        #4
        Marathon Running Alcoholic

        Hi Musomatt.
        I would love to run a marathon. I can't even run a mile.
        Don't suppose you're looking for someone to coach?

        Kairos
        Sobriety is its own reward

        Comment


          #5
          Marathon Running Alcoholic

          marathon running

          Kairos;1571545 wrote: Hi Musomatt.
          I would love to run a marathon. I can't even run a mile.
          Don't suppose you're looking for someone to coach?

          Kairos
          Hi Kairos

          Would love to! Kind probably need to be cyber coaching!

          I need to remind myself on days like today, that I've done it. 4 times. If I can run a marathon I can give up drink. There is something incredible about getting to 22 miles... knowing that you still have 4.2 miles to go, but knowing... KNOWING you are going to finish. Not hoping. KNOWING.

          I want to get through 26 days, and 2 hours of sobriety. That is my first challenge. Then the big challenge is staying off it. (which is far, far harder than getting off it in the first place). The countless times i've managed to be AF but lasted a couple of years and then gone back to be worse than in the first place.

          Marathon running helps but my mental focus isn't straight. I've been running as an excuse for my drinking. I need to get back to running for my health and mental peace of mind. All about reframing my life right now.

          Good to meet you

          Comment


            #6
            Marathon Running Alcoholic

            Hi Matt,

            Just wanted to say hello and give you some support. It sounds like you have a great family life and a true love of running, it really comes across in your post. As you well know, they are great reasons to quit once and for all.

            Drinking is obviously causing you a lot of pain, so let us help you get comfortable here. This site will give you TOOLS and SUPPORT, both of which are critical. Check the toolbox thread under Monthly Abstinance, and the Newbies Nest under Just Starting Out.

            Instead of your 5 miles at 10:00 feeling like crap, you could be finishing your run with the sunrise and feel amazing for the rest of your day. I know you can picture it. Letting go of the horrible contradictions that come with drinking will open up your life and potential. I promise that you'll never regret quitting.
            "When you have faults, do not fear to abandon them." Analects of Confucius
            AF 11/12/11

            Comment


              #7
              Marathon Running Alcoholic

              Gidday Matt,

              Just want to say welcome, and great to see you here.

              I'm a runner too. There doesn't seem to be any rationale to us and booze. A bit of body chemistry logic, but otherwise difficult to explain why good, decent, intelligent and brilliant people turn to the bottle.

              Stick around and post your thoughts if you're ok doing so. This is a great site, and we understand you where the grog is concerned. Plenty of support here, so look forward to seeing you around.

              G bloke.

              'I am part of all that I have met, yet all experience is an arch wherethro', gleams that untravelled world whose margins fade, forever and forever when I move'

              Zen soul Warrior. Freedom today-

              Comment


                #8
                Marathon Running Alcoholic

                musomatt;1571547 wrote: Hi Kairos

                Would love to! Kind probably need to be cyber coaching!

                I need to remind myself on days like today, that I've done it. 4 times. If I can run a marathon I can give up drink.
                Yep, you can. You can do anything friend. There are no limits. Go for it.

                'I am part of all that I have met, yet all experience is an arch wherethro', gleams that untravelled world whose margins fade, forever and forever when I move'

                Zen soul Warrior. Freedom today-

                Comment


                  #9
                  Marathon Running Alcoholic

                  musomatt;1571509 wrote: Hi everyone. I'm here because I have a hangover this morning. Despite many failed attempts to abstain from alcohol (including a 2 year successful stretch in 2007-2009) I am now 5 years down the line since I thought I had quit.

                  I can't go into too much detail yet. But i've half made the decision to give this up once again. I say only half, because I know in my heart I must. But my head is playing its usual tricks on me (what go through the rest of my life without being allowed to have a glass of wine with fish is one such mind game). I say I must, because every time I drink now my liver hurts. I know at 42 that if I don't stop drinking I will go the same way as a colleague (an old drinking partner) who died 2 months ago aged 52. Chronic liver disease.

                  I have drunk since the age of 17. Really, fairly heavily (but not rampantly). But certainly in excess of 50-60 units a week and at some points in my life even heavier than that. I think nothing of drinking 8 cans of lager of a friday night, and often more than 4 on a weekday. Certainly as much as a bottle of wine in one night, or as much as 4 pints of lager. On an easy night. I am regularly drunk. But I function.

                  And yes. I am a veteran of running 4 London marathons. How can I be a marathon runner, but also an alcoholic? Can someone explain that for me? I have been writing a journal on and off since I went 60 days without alcohol at the beginning of last year. I will post excerpts here. Please help me give this up. It is causing enormous pressure on me, my marriage. I have three beautiful children and so much to live for.:new:
                  We are all highly-functional alcoholics. The only moment that we have is NOW. The minute I start thinking/dreaming/fantasizing about drinking in the future, the battle is lost. Stay in the moment. One day at a time. You have moved mountains to get a drink. You've finished 4 marathons? Why not use that motivation, determination and energy to overcome the thoughts in your head about having a drink? Can you survive not having a drink with fish? Do you need to make that choice in this moment? End the agony.
                  10/14/13: I am truly grateful for another day in this amazing life. I'm sober and mindful of every moment.

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Marathon Running Alcoholic

                    Pinecone;1571550 wrote: Hi Matt,

                    Just wanted to say hello and give you some support. It sounds like you have a great family life and a true love of running, it really comes across in your post. As you well know, they are great reasons to quit once and for all.

                    Drinking is obviously causing you a lot of pain, so let us help you get comfortable here. This site will give you TOOLS and SUPPORT, both of which are critical. Check the toolbox thread under Monthly Abstinance, and the Newbies Nest under Just Starting Out.

                    Instead of your 5 miles at 10:00 feeling like crap, you could be finishing your run with the sunrise and feel amazing for the rest of your day. I know you can picture it. Letting go of the horrible contradictions that come with drinking will open up your life and potential. I promise that you'll never regret quitting.
                    Thanks Pinecone. I can't believe how amazingly friendly this place is. I am so glad I signed up this morning. I don't feel like i've got to try and get through this all on my own. Thank you so much everyone.

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Marathon Running Alcoholic

                      Guitarista;1571556 wrote: Gidday Matt,

                      Just want to say welcome, and great to see you here.

                      I'm a runner too. There doesn't seem to be any rationale to us and booze. A bit of body chemistry logic, but otherwise difficult to explain why good, decent, intelligent and brilliant people turn to the bottle.

                      Stick around and post your thoughts if you're ok doing so. This is a great site, and we understand you where the grog is concerned. Plenty of support here, so look forward to seeing you around.

                      G bloke.
                      Thanks Guitarista, I'm a musician as well by the way - hence the name musomatt! my music sounds utter crap when I get drunk. I do know that. I'm a miles better singer when I don't drink. Another reason to give up. I've got so many reasons to give up and barely none to keep doing it. It is a no brainer, it really is. The time has come.

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Marathon Running Alcoholic

                        I'm Strong and in Control;1571561 wrote: We are all highly-functional alcoholics. The only moment that we have is NOW. The minute I start thinking/dreaming/fantasizing about drinking in the future, the battle is lost. Stay in the moment. One day at a time. You have moved mountains to get a drink. You've finished 4 marathons? Why not use that motivation, determination and energy to overcome the thoughts in your head about having a drink? Can you survive not having a drink with fish? Do you need to make that choice in this moment? End the agony.
                        God, it sounds so pathetic to say that having a glass of wine with fish is the difference between my life being a consummate success or an abject failure. It is incredible how utterly ridiculous life through an alcoholic's lens becomes. You're right though... my only goal right now is to get through this week.

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Marathon Running Alcoholic

                          Musomatt
                          Welcome here!

                          It's often the small things that hold us back - like a glass of wine with fish. I don't have many AF days, and when I started considering giving up, I baulked at the small things (the really big things as well, obviously). I both over-thought things (what am I going to do in such and such a situation, such as being at a braai without a glass of red or white in my hand) and put the bigger issues (how am I going to live the rest of my life without alcohol? can I live the rest of my life without it?) on hold. The only thing I can do is just one day without alcohol.

                          There's a lot of collective wisdom on these boards - use other people's experience to make your way forward so much easier. Just one day without drinking, then the next, then the next one. Same as with a marathon - one step, then the next, then another way.

                          Best of wishes: if you are truly committed, you will get there.
                          14 October 2013 was the first day of the best days of my life!

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Marathon Running Alcoholic

                            musomatt;1571577 wrote: Thanks Guitarista, I'm a musician as well by the way - hence the name musomatt! my music sounds utter crap when I get drunk. I do know that. I'm a miles better singer when I don't drink. Another reason to give up. I've got so many reasons to give up and barely none to keep doing it. It is a no brainer, it really is. The time has come.
                            Right on. I find this to be true.

                            The time has come indeed. Best wishes on your journey.

                            2 threads i can recommend you check out to begin with.

                            https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...box-27556.html

                            and

                            https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...est-30074.html

                            'I am part of all that I have met, yet all experience is an arch wherethro', gleams that untravelled world whose margins fade, forever and forever when I move'

                            Zen soul Warrior. Freedom today-

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Marathon Running Alcoholic

                              Hi All
                              Welcome Muso. You will find many runners here physical fitness members yoga enthusiast. Along with being involved in trying to get in or stay in shape we are alcoholics. We are not able to control ourselves when we drink. We are very disciplined in other areas of our lives but can't stop at one or two drinks. Many reasons why but different for each one of us.
                              As a former runner 5k 10k marathoner I will tell you getting sober and living a sober life will be harder then any of those events. Getting sober was the hardest thing I had to do in my life. It took me years to admit I was an alcoholic. How could I be I can run hit great times, alcoholics are sleeping on the benches in the park. We'll we are them just haven't hit that bottom yet. If you address it now you don't need to go to that bottom or the one your friend did. As good a shape as we think we are in alcohol will win in the end.
                              Time to put your effort into this part of your life. Attack this problem as if your life depends on it because it does.


                              Stay Healthy and Keep Fighting
                              AF. 5-16-08
                              Stay Healthy and Keep Fighting
                              AF 5-16-08

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