Marathon AL
I can't go into too much detail yet. But i've half made the decision to give this up once again. I say only half, because I know in my heart I must. But my head is playing its usual tricks on me (what go through the rest of my life without being allowed to have a glass of wine with fish is one such mind game). I say I must, because every time I drink now my liver hurts. I know at 42 that if I don't stop drinking I will go the same way as a colleague (an old drinking partner) who died 2 months ago aged 52. Chronic liver disease.
I have drunk since the age of 17. Really, fairly heavily (but not rampantly). But certainly in excess of 50-60 units a week and at some points in my life even heavier than that. I think nothing of drinking 8 cans of lager of a friday night, and often more than 4 on a weekday. Certainly as much as a bottle of wine in one night, or as much as 4 pints of lager. On an easy night. I am regularly drunk. But I function.
And yes. I am a veteran of running 4 London marathons. How can I be a marathon runner, but also an alcoholic? Can someone explain that for me? I have been writing a journal on and off since I went 60 days without alcohol at the beginning of last year. I will post excerpts here. Please help me give this up. It is causing enormous pressure on me, my marriage. I have three beautiful children and so much to live for.:new:
I do not have one running friend that does not drink. And I am not talking about, beer-bust gutting guys, that do a light "jog" for 20 minutes, I am talking about guys and girls, actually, the girls can put it away better than a lot of the guys, that ran division I in college, some that still run low 3s (3:10, 3:18, you know what I mean), some that even break 3!
I ran a 5K once, a more notable one that a bar sponsors Uptown, and saw a guy who I know is, if not an "elite" runner, the next step below, completely smashed and could barely talk....still looking runner trim.
My years training the marathon, my AL intake has varied from season to season...this year, my diet and AL, has been not what I have liked, but I have two weeks to change that...I've been hitting my times, so I think I'm ok.
So, why the AL marathon connection....? I think there is one. A marathon, as you know, is a superhuman athletic event...whether if you finish in a little over 2 hours, or a little over five hours, or more. Less than 1% of the population ever completes one, let alone multiple. As you know, it's an accomplishment which results in believing you can do anything, and an exhilarating rush....starting to sound like something??? It's a drug.
Truth be told, I always wanted to run a marathon, but there was also a part of me that used it to keep my life balanced....diet and drink. All my marathons, with the exception of this one, I wasn't single...the first three I had the same gf, who became my wife, she was around for the fourth one. She was not around for the fifth, but I had a gf, this one, I've been truly alone (I haven't trained with a group since the first two)....it has led me to be very lonely, and perhaps drink a little more out of boredom when I go out (I don't drink at home).
And since you have completed one, actually multiple, you're not scared, or worried about what your diet may do to you, race wise, ie.....you know you're going to finish...the mystique of it is gone for you...so you take more liberties, maybe.
I feel for your brother...but you ARE not alone and this is NOT Uncommon at all. I know barely five foot, nothing, female runners, that can probably drink both of us under the table.
Ok, I am going to read more of your thread now...I just had to respond, I totally relate.
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