What next?

[Softy]

45 days AF in the bag today. Hooray for me, aren't I great Three cheers pat on the back great guy etc

But in truth I am suffering badly today. Drink gave me a reason to live. Something to look forward to. I don't want a drink but I have nothing without it.

Nothing to look forward to at the end of a working day. Just another four crappy days, then two crappy days off, then another five crappy days, then another two off......

Endless cycle of nothing.what the f"@k do I do without something to take the place ofbooze?

I could read - too tired
Telly - rubbish
Music - so much noise
Exercise - go in the morning too tired in the evening
Food - trying to lose weight so that's out

Work bed work bed work bed work bed work bed:upset:

Why bother..........

[mlisa]

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I feel your pain Softy. I feel the same at the moment....work, read, bed, work, read, bed....tonight I can't even be arsed to read!

[mlisa]

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BTW - 45 days, well done!!!!

[Softy]

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mlisa;1571689 wrote: ..tonight I can't even be arsed to read!

Exactly

[Dottie Belle]

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Yep I feel that way too sometimes but I am trying to find things in the evening to do...not easy but doable and I just and to force myself to so something..
Dottie

[Starfish1]

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Softy and Lisa-
Hang tight!!! Y'all are doing great!!! Please take it from someone (me) struggling to fight back from ANOTHER relapse. It is not worth it!!! Softy...I felt just like you did during my last big sober streak- you get bored- but that is a normal feeling at this stage of the game. It will pass. Both of you, please go over to the General section of the boards as soon as you can and read the "Relapse in Retrospect" thread. You don't want to go there!!! It's hard to get back!!

[Starfish1]

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Cross Post Dottie- You too!!! You are whippin up on it girl!!! Hang tight!! You got this :l

[JackieClaire]

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Softy;1571683 wrote: 45 days AF in the bag today. Hooray for me, aren't I great Three cheers pat on the back great guy etc

But in truth I am suffering badly today. Drink gave me a reason to live. Something to look forward to. I don't want a drink but I have nothing without it.

Nothing to look forward to at the end of a working day. Just another four crappy days, then two crappy days off, then another five crappy days, then another two off......

Endless cycle of nothing.what the f"@k do I do without something to take the place ofbooze?

I could read - too tired
Telly - rubbish
Music - so much noise
Exercise - go in the morning too tired in the evening
Food - trying to lose weight so that's out

Work bed work bed work bed work bed work bed:upset:

Why bother..........

Hi Softy and as we haven't met yet so :welcome: to you Mlisa.

Oh dear a dreaded case of WTF's .

Now believe me when I say the dreaded WTF's can hit at any time during sobriety and they also hit dare I say it 'normal' drinkers.....I know I live with one. But he would never think of having a drink to make things 'better'.

I'm know I'm trying to make light of it but over the years ( never thought I'd ever say that) there has never and I mean never a situation that has been made better by having a bellyful of booze.

Ride these feelings out and the next time you'll recognize them for what they are.....a bad case of the WTF's. They don't last forever, they will pass and the longer we are AF we can deal with them.

Mind you I still when I get the WTF's I take to me bed with a large bar of chocolate.

[NoSugar]

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Starfish1;1571701 wrote: Softy and Lisa-
Hang tight!!! Y'all are doing great!!! Please take it from someone (me) struggling to fight back from ANOTHER relapse. It is not worth it!!! Softy...I felt just like you did during my last big sober streak- you get bored- but that is a normal feeling at this stage of the game. It will pass. Both of you, please go over to the General section of the boards as soon as you can and read the "Relapse in Retrospect" thread. You don't want to go there!!! It's hard to get back!!

Welcome back, Star!

I don't know if you remember me but you helped me a great deal last winter. You told me your first relapse story. I see you saw my thread where I asked EVERYONE about it!! I'm still very interested because I think these personal accounts can help us navigate what seems to lie ahead for all of us, even after what seem like long periods of being AF. I hope you feel like adding your stories to that thread sometime. It might help you to document it, too, and I know it helps others.

I'm so glad you came back! I hope your daughter's wedding in June was a wonderful celebration. I think I saw a post in the NN that you have another engaged daughter? Wow!

I'm going to try to catch up what I missed in the nest this weekend but I just wanted to let you know that I appreciate how much you helped me.

Love, NS

[Starfish1]

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Thanks, NS- of course I remember you and have thought of you often :l
I am on the run right now everyone b/c I am meeting my dtr at an appointment, but am leaving Softy, Lisa and Dottie in good hands.
Hang in there everyone and I will too- we just gotta get through this day :l
catch you later!

[Softy]

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Oh dear a dreaded case of WTF's .

:blush:

Yes I am having a sulky tantrum because I can't have the toy I want

Of course I will get through it - I am feeling shitty not feeling stupid

Sometimes a good whine is better than a good wine

[NoSugar]

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Softy;1571683 wrote:

Work bed work bed work bed work bed work bed:upset:

Why bother..........

Hi, Softy

Everyone is bored sometimes - that is normal. What isn't normal is to be drunk night after night. Work bed work bed sounds much better than recover drink pass out recover drink pass out. I was so bored by and disgusted with that life, I took the seemingly crazy action of joining this forum and boy did my life get interesting after that! I've spent a lot of time learning about what happened and how to prevent relapsing - nothing could be more interesting to me these days. Reading various threads on MWO is compelling and every once in awhile, something is stated in a way that is just right for me to understand something new.

There is a thread listing about 100 options of "things to do instead of drink".

If you're interested in losing weight, you could find out more about the different approaches to doing that. The world of nutrition is changing - go learn about it!

I think getting involved in something bigger than yourself is critical to getting past the parts of this journey that lack the painful yet also exciting drama of the early quit. My favorite book on that subject is Man's Search for Meaning (Man's Search for Meaning: Viktor Frankl, William J. Winslade, Harold S. Kushner: 9780807014295: Amazon.com: Books). This can be a big commitment to an organization or something as simple as helping a neighbor. You need to get out of your own head and show yourself that the world is better for you being in it. And it is! You have things to offer that have been withheld during the drinking years. Now you can contribute again and at the same time, really help yourself. You could welcome people to MWO when you see a new thread or go help out in the Newbies Nest.

Sometimes you can accept the boredom, sit quietly, and just be. There is nothing wrong with that and in fact, there can be great benefit. Get to know the Sober Softy :l.

[Sake123]

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Hi Softy - Here's me and my pea brain...I just want to know about the TOY you can't have?? LOL!!! Is it shiny? :-)

Seriously...I get it. I often get hit with moments where I ask myself "Is this really it???" just a question about life in general, I guess. Sometimes all the work and trouble don't seem worth it. But lucky for me, those "times" come and go. And I'm glad when they are gone.

My biggest fear when I first quit was boredom. But I really haven't been all that bored. Sometimes I am, but I can fix it if I really want to.

Congrats on 46 days. Freaking AWESOME!!!

[Softy]

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Thanks all. I am taking myself off to bed in an (AF) sulk. Tomorrow will be another day, and I hope it will be a more cheerful one. It won't be Monday after all.


(sake123 - the toy I can't have is the one that comes in bottles and cans - but the toy I really want is a long happy heathy life. Those two toys don't come a s a pair! )

[free at last]

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Well Mr. Softy, I read your post and I thought "this guy has too much time on his hands. Needs to give a little more of himself to others." Then, I read No Sugar's response and she put the suggestion out so much more graciously than I could ever do. So, how about volunteering in your community, cleaning up the neighborhood garden, being a big brother so some kid who needs some adult supervision. Tons of better things to do than sulk. It it's any consolation, I have a sign that says Whining with a big X through it