Getting Married

[Darkest Diamond]

Getting Married

C Dev this is amazing and beautiful news.

Firstly I am truly happy for you, I really am. ....... there are so many things that need to be really thought through here.

I am a practising Catholic ......... who is the Catholic in your relationship...... you or Kira or both of you?.... Marriage is one of the sacraments. Also if you marry in a Catholic church it influences your life and how you bring up your children.

If you are a Catholic please forgive me for pointing out the obvious, if not how would you feel about converting? how would you feel about your children being brought up in this religion? It is a strong religion, seemingly silent yet always there!

I will smile if you now say that you are the Catholic and Kira not ....... if that is the way then she must love you very much.

Lots of love to you both but why rush, you are both so young , you have years ahead of you........................ sorry to put a dampner on how you feel .

If you go ahead and do it I wish you all the love in my heart,

DD xxxx

[Cinders]

Getting Married

Congratulations C and may your lives be filled with love and family.

Love,
Cindi

[Sake123]

Getting Married

That's amazing! Happy for you!

But like most other folks here...I think it would be so very wise to have a long engagement. I know when you're in love and you know it's right, it's right. But didn't you guys just meet? Number 1 rule in AA was no relationships for the first year. I was very much in love with someone early in sobriety (first time around) I would have married him in a heartbeat. I'm so very glad that never came to pass.

I'm not saying that your love isn't true but like most other folks on this thread, what IS the rush?

No matter what...very happy for you!

[lucky 2.0]

Getting Married

I listen to Dr. Jenn Burman, psychotherapist, on Sirius radio all the time and have heard her address marriage many, many times. She says the older you are, the more likely the relationship will last. I don't know your age but you look young in your avatar.

Remember, every one who is divorced was once very much in love, just like you. Also, no one should get married until they have known the person for a minimum of 1 yr and the engagement should be 1 yr. And that is her wisdom WITHOUT an addiction! So, keep it a long engagement and take advantage of the pre-marital counseling the Church offers.

BE WELL & BE HAPPY!

All the best-

[I'm Strong and in Control]

Getting Married

Life is short. Live and love fully! Many blessings to you both as you create your new life together. Please make the nest a priority in your life ~ you'll be blissfully busy ~ always remember how you got here.

[I'm Strong and in Control]

Getting Married

Actually, let me reword this. Not knowing you whatsoever, I think it is a train wreck. You are going to get married anyway. ENJOY it. Make us wrong. Live fully. We'll always be here. I want it to be everything you've always dreamed and wanted.

[I'm Strong and in Control]

Getting Married

C-Developer;1571886 wrote: Just wanted to officially announce here that I dropped to my knee and asked Kira to marry me, and she accepted.

Those of you near the Chicago area are naturally invited to whatever comes after this, though I am not sure what that involves. Ceremony will take place at Saint Marks Catholic Church here in South Side Chicago.

The rock (1.25 K) came from Tivol of Chicago (which I am going to be paying on for a long ass time). I proposed with a fairly simple statement "I don't want to be with anyone but you, and I don't want you to be with anyone but me".

Not exactly my typical check in to the nest, but I am in love, and I finally decided to do something about it.

Details and dates and I would be honored.

[Sake123]

Getting Married

At the end of the day...I think we all are thrilled to see you happy! That's all that really matters. Congrats to you and your bride to be!!

[K9Lover]

Getting Married

eeky: I probably shouldn't say anything, but here goes anyway (but please feel free to ignore the bitter old lady!)

IS there a rush?

It takes 6 minutes to get married, and 6 months to get divorced. Another word: Pre-nup. You are young and just starting out in your career....nobody can see 15 years down the road....


Now that all of that is out of the way....I just want you to be happy! :l

[paulywogg]

Getting Married

Another wet-blanket,please make it a loong engagement you guys havent even been dating a month i think?if you guys are in love,awesome im happy for you but slow down,alkies tend to do impulsive things and marriage is so serious,and itll always be an option down the road,best of luck

[gettinitright]

Getting Married

Well, I have read and re-read this thread a thousand times and I wasn't going to post because my opinion won't be popular and your marriage is really none of my business. Sometimes in life we have that ONE special someone that is the right one and we lose them. You do you! You might be the couple that makes it against all odds, but one thing is for sure, you wont know if ya don't try. Brace yourself for life challenges. I don't know how old you are, but I can tell you age doesn't necessarily make you much wiser. Crap I didn't start drinking til I was in my mid-30's . Who does that? So, do the pre-marital counseling. Enjoy your engagement. I hope you have many years of happiness.

[broken halo]

Getting Married

C Dev, I don't think anyone was criticising you buddy, everyone wants to see you happy. Courtship is a joy in itself, getting to know each other, all the ins and outs of another human being that you are madly in love with is a precious time as well. Marriage does change things between a couple, for better or worse.

I might be a cynical old divorcee, but I am also still a romantic at heart. Kira seems like a lovely girl, and you are a good man. I just hope that you can enjoy getting to know each other, that lovely warm closeness that courtship brings should be savoured. Being married is a whole different ball game.

This from a woman who loves an excuse to wear a nice hat! All the best to you both xx

[C-Developer]

Getting Married

Thanks guys for all your thoughtful commentary,

But at the end of the day, this comes down to much more than internet commentary.

I am willing to admit that I might be making a huge mistake, but she looks in my eyes and I quiver. How many times in my life am I ever going to have an opportunity like this?

You think I don't already have naysayers? Think again, my family (especially my Dad) has already been quite clear to stay away from Juliet. He has obviously not been successful, but it is still worth noting.

Her family is as much of a problem honestly, I am the the perceptually ostracized "romeo" begging for the hand of my lady fair. Her Dad, for whatever reason, finds me to be immature, irrational, and incapable of providing for his daughter.

All these various dilemas are rather minute at the end of the day however. Ill drive to a place that will marry us, and then none of our family will matter. I think both my and her family are starting to recognize that they can't stop us, and are willing to play ball as a result.

I will have my Juliet at the alter eventually, despite what logistical pitfalls the powers that be throw at us. I love my Kira, and want her as my wife.

[TJAF]

Getting Married

C-Developer

Man I know you've been knocked about recently...I cant possibly know how you are feeling about your decision to get married. This is an internet blog and the idea that any of us can know what you're feeling about a decision of the heart is beyond me. Nevertheless there are good and honest people here that do understand your addiction. Please dont let our reaction to what should be the happiest time of your life keep you from continuing to join us/relate to us/or offer your heartfelt concern and care regarding our mutual sobriety. Check in and let us know how you're doing!

[Sake123]

Getting Married

C-Dev - You are right..this is your life. We are simply reading a story and adding our thoughts. Some come from places of "been there, done that" and some are coming from a place of concern for our fellow recovering cyber/friend.

I know that everyone here only wishes you the very best. And I'm sure when you shared your news you were fully expecting a lot of "hold your horses" remarks. While statistics are very much against you..you have already beaten the odds by getting sober. So you might just be that dark horse that wins the race!