Thank you

[MossRose]

I didn't want to respond on my last thread. I will be happy if it gently floats to page 2, 3 or beyond. I honestly can't even go back and re-read it, but I did read your posts of love and support, and for that I wanted to say a belated thank you. That night was a huge trigger for me and and my response was knee-jerk and not so well thought out. I was overwrought. I never drank though any of my pregnancies, and still something went terribly wrong. But now it's out there, and in some weird way, I feel relieved. But this honesty thing does take some practice.

I have followed so many of your stories, and so many here have suffered terrible losses and sorrow. We have all had our share of grief to deal with. It's the guilt that gnaws away at me. That was the real point of my post.

Anyway, I almost disappeared. I couldn't bear feeling so naked. But, I know that leaving MWO would be a tragic mistake for me. You all are the only reason I have managed to stay sober and sane. So if you don't mind, I'd like to stay for a while. I promise to keep the overly-emotional posts at a minimum. Hope you are all doing well.

xx,
MR

[broken halo]

Thank you

Don't you dare go anywhere. There is nothing but love here for you Rose :l

[Starfish1]

Thank you

:l Thanks for staying with us, MossRose! We need you! And we are here for you, too!

:h Star

[paulywogg]

Thank you

Aw moss,mwo wouldnt be the same without you im glad youre sticking around,i know you feel kind of exposed from telling your story,but i think it can abosutely help with your healing,take care my friend

[gettinitright]

Thank you

You know my thoughts my friend. (((hugs)))

[K9Lover]

Thank you

You better not leave us! I read your thread with tears in my eyes. You are a strong courageous woman, and I am honored to know you. Now glue your butt to MWO!

[NoSugar]

Thank you

Hi, MossRose

I don't think that you should have any negative feelings about your post. There is nothing to be ashamed of and it is a critical part of what makes you the wonderful woman you are. Sharing it allows us to know and understand you better. That your 3rd son's anger toward you about drinking was tearing you apart was understandable anyway and is even more so in light of your full story. The fear of another loss, although in a different way, would be truly unbearable. I am so glad that relationship is improving :l. NS

[free at last]

Thank you

Dear Moss Rose,
A quick to chime in that I think your post took an incredible amount of courage to write. In my signature is a link to a TED talk -- the woman's premise is that we, as a society, have lost the ability to be vulnerable to others, and in so doing, lose much of our creativity, joy, and self-esteem. You are a valuable member of this community so don't think about going anywhere!

[Sake123]

Thank you

Moss - I thank you for your sincere honesty. I think that's where we all need to be...it is not easy getting there but whenever one of us is vunerable and honest, I believe that gives others hope and courage to do the same! You are awesome!!!!

[Kradle123]

Thank you

HI MR:

I have to say (in levity...) that your post to Rain was a true Mary Tyler Moore Moment...Do you remember how she was completely undone if she thought she had upset someone and of course she never did! It was always Rhoda that stole the show in that department!
Your words to Rain were about as harsh as soft bristle brush..IMO...and her situation was truly scary and while we all know that telling one of us to'just stop' is often futile, I believe you did the very repsonsible thing...to sugar coat that situation for her would be...imo..really awful...SO Bravo to you! Well done!:wd:

Your post regarding your son...I am so sorry...but the strength that took to express...i'm in awe of you. I sometimes think of what might happen to one of the kids (yes, even My Matt ) and I don't know how I'd recover. You reminded me of that incredible woman who years ago took her profoundly autistic son home ( I think this was back in the 30's when such things were simply not done- these children ended up in asylums) and it turns out he was a savante who could play any piece of music he heard. The Doctors all told her he would be dead in days but he lived for years.

I am in complete agreement with NOSugar: There is simply no way you did anything 'wrong'. As a Buddhist I belive sincerely each life has their own unique mission based on their previous life and Karma. It is often unfathamoble to us what mission a child had to be here for such a short time but...I believe they do...Perhaps your son had the great fortune to be born to you who loved him so deeply that he did not have to suffer and could then move on-

There is no doubt though, MR about your own mission and how you are moving towords it every day...It's Up To You..That is the hardest sentiment but one I see you fufilling with every post you give us here.

Always with you, honey. Sleep well. Hope to see you on Skype..if I can figure out the damn voice chat thing...
:l:h

[MossRose]

Thank you

I am truly overwhelmed by your responses.

NS - probably why I try to hold on to my other sons so tightly. I probably need to explore that further.
Kradle - I agree that we are here to learn and grow from our experiences - the good and the bad. I know that he taught me how to love unconditionally and fearlessly regardless of the outcome. For that, I will always be grateful. And yes, it's time for me to start acting less like Mary, and more like Rhoda. LOL.

And to everyone else who responded with such kindness - thank you. What a wonderful way to start my day.

[TJAF]

Thank you

Rose
You did nothing wrong, speaking for myself, I believe you simply stated what we were all thinking,, ( or at least what I was thinking). I dont know what was going through the mind of the young women who was/is drinking a fifth of vodka while pregnant. Certainly she was looking for help but in another weird sense she was also looking for validation. Your heartfelt reaction, while sympathic was clear and to the point...it is not ok to drink while pregnant and she needed to do whatever was in her power to stop immediately. Her choice was hers alone. Nothing you said pushed her to drop out of sight, in reality she stopped posting because she was willing (or at least appears to have chosen) to drink nontheless. I look at what you said as couragous. You stood up for an unborn child! Good for you. Stay put I love your input, your courage and your honesty.

[Rusty]

Thank you

Rose....because that's what you are....a rose.:l

Posted by Kradle:

I have to say (in levity...) that your post to Rain was a true Mary Tyler Moore Moment...Do you remember how she was completely undone if she thought she had upset someone and of course she never did! It was always Rhoda that stole the show in that department! Your words to Rain were about as harsh as soft bristle brush..IMO...and her situation was truly scary and while we all know that telling one of us to'just stop' is often futile, I believe you did the very repsonsible thing...to sugar coat that situation for her would be...imo..really awful...SO Bravo to you! Well done!
I couldn't have said this any better than Kradle. I agree 100%. I read and re-read your response to that young woman and it was NOT harsh. My friend adopted a baby who was the product of a cocaine addict and a chronic alcoholic. Her adopted son was born with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, which the doctor said was worse than the cocaine addiction. The doctor told told her when her son turned 6, the effects of the FAS will become obvious: he will be angry and acting out. Boy, was he right. My friend and her son are both in therapy and he's only 6 1/2!!!!!

Although everyone's words here were kind and powerful, I thought TJAF's post hit the nail on the head. Thank you, TJAF. I don't know what was going through the mind of the young women who was/is drinking a fifth of vodka while pregnant. Certainly she was looking for help but in another weird sense she was also looking for validation. Your heartfelt reaction, while sympathic was clear and to the point...it is not ok to drink while pregnant and she needed to do whatever was in her power to stop immediately. Her choice was hers alone. Nothing you said pushed her to drop out of sight, in reality she stopped posting because she was willing (or at least appears to have chosen) to drink nontheless. I look at what you said as couragous. You stood up for an unborn child! Good for you. Stay put I love your input, your courage and your honesty.

I am here for you, neighbor.:l PM me if you need to chat.

[Mr Vervill]

Thank you

Sending you nothing but love MR