Just Starting Out...for the thousandth time

[j-vo]

Just Starting Out...for the thousandth time

NS, I could have written what you just did...minus the term "a priori!" haha! Why do I laugh at my own cmments? My students asked me that once... "Mrs. j-vo, why do you laugh at the silly things you say?" Because they're silly! That's why!

NS, you're a beautiful, intelligent, caring, and kind person I'm so lucky to have met at MWO. I feel incredibly blessed to know you! This, my friend, is a compliment you better believe and repeat to yourself.

[NoSugar]

Just Starting Out...for the thousandth time

j-vo;1605142 wrote: This, my friend, is a compliment you better believe and repeat to yourself.

:l Back to you, friend.

[lclem]

Just Starting Out...for the thousandth time

J-Vo

I am sad for you that after such accomplishment you are dwelling on your past mistakes. I can definitely relate to that thinking. I do believe though that such negativity can be dangerous. It can make us feel like we are not worthy of having life be better. You have shown how worth it you are by working so hard toward your goal and being so kind and motivating to others, including me who just joined. Remember to also be kind to yourself. I think that is hard for those of us that never quite think we measure up. I do think self kindness though may hold the key.
Congrats again

[Unwasted]

Just Starting Out...for the thousandth time

Hey, I've done crazier things in a bathroom stall!

OK, I'm late chiming in on this one but just had to laugh. You and me both, sister girl. And might we have been drinking during that time I ask?:H When I think of all the bad decisions I made because of alcohol............

I know we're not dwelling on the negative, but I just had to laugh at that one. K9 is brutally honest about her drunken past and has had me rolling on the floor laughing with her past antics.

To me, all the bad shit I did on alcohol I attribute to the drug - we aren't the same people when we're under the influence, truly. I don't dwell on it, but I think it's ok to remember from time to time as you guys have said - as a disincentive to drinking.

What strikes me the most about my Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde alcohol personae is how I just loved everyone, wanted to get together, blah, blah, blah and then the next day.............it was...........WTF was I thinking? At least sober I know what comes out of my mouth is real.

Great thread J-vo and everyone else posting here!

UN :lilheart:

[NoSugar]

Just Starting Out...for the thousandth time

Unwasted;1605217 wrote:
What strikes me the most about my Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde alcohol personae is how I just loved everyone, wanted to get together, blah, blah, blah and then the next day.............it was...........WTF was I thinking? At least sober I know what comes out of my mouth is real.
UN :lilheart:

You know, one thing I liked was that I was more open, friendly, and warmer to others after one or two drinks. Too bad I didn't stop there all the time but consumed too much on my own...
On the flip side, now that I'm not trying to hide anything, I think I'm acting nicer and being friendlier for real, which is better anyway.

[Unwasted]

Just Starting Out...for the thousandth time

NS, for real - that's the key. Sober means we have to deal with life on it's own terms - no more escapism. I too always loved the social lubricant aspect of AL, but it led to a lot of phoniness and confusion for me in the long run.

Now, girls, you've got me thinking..........this business about how we're hard on ourselves. I think it's so true and it leads me to one of my soap boxes.

Think about how girls/women are socially manipulated to think they need to:

• be skinny (check out any magazine or runway show)
• be bleached, colored, styled
• wear makeuphave a certain body shape including slicing open our chests to stuff it full of siliconedefy aging via botox, facelifts, implants, etc.

and the list goes on and on -- things that say that our real selves aren't enough.

After we get programmed to think we have to do all that, then we just do it to ourselves because we can't see ourselves any other way. When you're younger, it's fun and girly. But now as I've gotten older, I see it differently. Now I admire people who don't buy into it all.

This is off the subject a bit about being hard on ourselves, but I'm just saying that we're taught early on that the real us needs to be different, which is really saying we're not good enough if you think about it.

Thoughts anyone?

[NoSugar]

Just Starting Out...for the thousandth time

Hey, UN

Would you mind if I moved our conversation to the LOAM thread? I think we would get a lot of discussion. Plus J-Vo probably doesn't want us messing up her journal :H:H:H!

[Unwasted]

Just Starting Out...for the thousandth time

NS, good point -- if I only knew what the LOAM thread was.:H:H

[NoSugar]

Just Starting Out...for the thousandth time

Unwasted;1605257 wrote: NS, good point -- if I only knew what the LOAM thread was.:H:H

Its that one I told you about in the PM: https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...ml#post1605252.

I'll take this over there ,

[Unwasted]

Just Starting Out...for the thousandth time

So sorry J-vo. I got carried away and forgot this was your journal. NS, yes, by all means, we'll belabor this point on the other thread. I see it now.

J-vo, before I go............I forgot to tell you I used to teach school.........no wonder we drank, right? :H Seriously, it's a tough job.

Hugs,
UN

[j-vo]

Just Starting Out...for the thousandth time

I don't mind at all! You're welcome to post anytime! But we would love you to come to LOAM's Unwasted. Absolutely!!!!

Monthly Abstinence Thread: Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[j-vo]

Just Starting Out...for the thousandth time

Iclem,
I know these thoughts can be dangerous. That's probably why I started drinking in the first place, or kept on. And you're right, self kindness is so important. This is something I need to work on and not overlook the importance of it. Someone said if you don't take care of the problems and reasons that led to your drinking, then relapse could occur. Thank you for reminding me what I need to do to keep myself sober!!!

Unwasted, I'm sure we could compare bathroom stall stories and they just might be similar! And you're right that when we were under the influence, that wasn't our real self, albeit it made socializing a bit easier at first, then it made making an ass out of ourselves really easy!

[j-vo]

Just Starting Out...for the thousandth time

On FB today - good quote:

Peace is the result of retraining your mind to process life as it is, rather than as you think it should be.
Wayne Dyer

[j-vo]

Just Starting Out...for the thousandth time

This is a post from 1/21/09. I was abstaining at the time. I cringed while reading this, knowing that I continued to do the same stuff for four, almost five more years. And yet, another reminder why I should never, ever pick up that first drink. Not ever.

1/21/09
Vlad - thanks for starting this thread. It has consumed me for the past few days! Here are some of my regrets:

When my son says, "Mom, you were drunk last night, you were banging against the wall going up the steps."

When my drunken emotions took over and physically abused my husband for caring about me, punching him, pinching him, just anger and disappointment in myself.

When I became lazy and unproductive at work. When I took off sick. When I became the lead for sick days. When people joked about it.

Most everything that everyone's said. It's amazing that this disease has specific symptoms just like any other disease.

My parents noticing, my other family noticing my drunkeness.

I once called and yelled at my doctor because he would not fill a prescription for me - adivan - to help me with sleep and other anxieties related to my drinking. I made an ass out of myself - of course I was drunk.

Gosh, I could go on for days, but everyone's covered it. I'll refer to this a lot. Thanks everyone.

[Pavati]

Just Starting Out...for the thousandth time

OK - Just checked and this discussion didn't make it to the LOAM thread - I'm heading there now to respond.

Unless J-Vo and her DH are busy...