Just Starting Out...for the thousandth time
Keep trying Change. It will click and you will get it!
Keep trying Change. It will click and you will get it!
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Just Starting Out...for the thousandth time
I agree with Ican, Change. Read the relapse thread I have posted above and see if you can identify any of those things. What happened last night? What were your triggers? Did you notice anything prior to last night that may have been bothering you on a deeper level? Let me know if I can help in any way or if you wanna pm me, please do.Sometimes what you're most afraid of doing is the very thing that will set you free.Comment
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Just Starting Out...for the thousandth time
In-between
by Melody Beattie
Sometimes, to get from where we are to where we are going, we have to be willing to be in-between.
One of the hardest parts of growth is the concept of letting go of what is old and familiar, but what we don't want, and being willing to stand with our hands empty while we wait for them to be filled.
This may apply to feelings. We may have been full of hurt and anger. In some ways, these feelings may have become comfortably familiar. When we finally face and relinquish our grief, we may feel empty for a time. We are in-between pain and the joy of serenity and acceptance.
Being in-between can apply to relationships. To prepare ourselves for the new, we need first to let go of the old. This can be frightening. We may feel empty and lost for a time. We may feel all alone, wondering what is wrong with us for letting go of the proverbial bird-in-hand, when there is nothing in the bush.
Being in-between can apply to many areas of life and growth. We can be in-between jobs, careers, homes, or goals. We can be in-between behaviors as we let go of the old and are not certain what we will replace it with. This can apply to behaviors that have protected and served us well all of our life such as care-taking and controlling.
We may have many feelings going on when we're in-between: spurts of grief about what we have let go of or lost, and feelings of anxiety, fear, and apprehension about what's ahead. These are normal feelings for the in-between place. Accept them. Feel them. Release them.
Being in-between isn't fun, but it's necessary. It will not last forever. It may feel like we're standing still, but we're not. We're standing at the in-between place. It's how we get from there to here. It is not the destination. We are moving forward, even when we're in between.Sometimes what you're most afraid of doing is the very thing that will set you free.Comment
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Just Starting Out...for the thousandth time
Thanks, J! Now I'll know where to come find this next time I lose track if it :H!
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Just Starting Out...for the thousandth time
Thanks and thanks j-vo. All good, back on the wagon.Icanwithoutacan;1626335 wrote: Keep trying Change. It will click and you will get it!One day at a time.. Sometimes it's one minute or one second at a time.. Most important thing is to look ahead and don't look back!Comment
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Just Starting Out...for the thousandth time
No problem NS! You probably figured it would end up here! (Post 406)
Glad to hear it Change!Sometimes what you're most afraid of doing is the very thing that will set you free.Comment
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Just Starting Out...for the thousandth time
Posted by Dream in NN:
Morning Pav! I call those blah feelings the What nows? We struggled to get sober, and focussed most of our energy and attention on that. We start feeling so much better, and then suddenly have to deal with life sober. Yes, being sober is awesome - but life is still life, and not always easy. Since so many of our problems were caused by Al, I think many of us assumed that once Al is taken out of the equation, things will magically improve and all our problems will disappear. It's a difficult wake-up call, but many things are still the same - we still have to deal with people we may not particularly like, or still have to take out the rubbish bins, still get stuck in traffic, or still have to do the dishes and the ironing - put all your pet hates in here. They will not go away - and we suddenly find that we now have to deal with them sober - and we don't have a whole lot of experience dealing with things sober. I wonder if that doesn't lead many people to relapse: things have changed, but things are still the same, so why bother with not drinking, then.
Most of the problems or worries or things I didn't want to face before I became sober are still there - so What now? I thought all my problems were going to be solved by getting, staying and being sober. Sorry Dreamy, life's not like that.
For me, the answer was to stop running away from things, the way I did with booze, and face them square on: to deal with what I can deal with , to change what I can change, to accept the niggling things. Sober. No other way. It means learning things I should have learnt long ago, but avoided and numbed with Al, relearning things I'd forgotten somewhere along the way - behaving like a responsible adult. People who never hid behind booze have had a much longer time in in which to do so, but I'm on an intensive crash course, so to speak. I can deal with that. I'm sober.Sometimes what you're most afraid of doing is the very thing that will set you free.Comment
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Just Starting Out...for the thousandth time
Love your inbetween post j-vo! Very timely and poignant (ah, that's a big word)!One day at a time.. Sometimes it's one minute or one second at a time.. Most important thing is to look ahead and don't look back!Comment
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Just Starting Out...for the thousandth time
I stole that from NS who stole it from Byrdy! I'm the MWO Thief!!! And yes, love the word poignant! haha!Sometimes what you're most afraid of doing is the very thing that will set you free.Comment
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Just Starting Out...for the thousandth time
You're on honest thief.. Does that really make you a thief? Ok, Robin Hood :sup:j-vo;1626972 wrote: I stole that from NS who stole it from Byrdy! I'm the MWO Thief!!! And yes, love the word poignant! haha!One day at a time.. Sometimes it's one minute or one second at a time.. Most important thing is to look ahead and don't look back!Comment
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Just Starting Out...for the thousandth time
I agree J-VO---I think it was Einstein who said you cant solve a problem with the same thinking that got you into the problem in the first place. Things do improve alot when AF...and they come rather quickly. Im sure you would agree that after a few weeks...there are many improvements.....then you will be flat for a bit....then a few more weeks and even more nice things. Hang in there!! You are doing great!j-vo;1626729 wrote: Posted by Dream in NN:
Morning Pav! I call those blah feelings the What nows? We struggled to get sober, and focussed most of our energy and attention on that. We start feeling so much better, and then suddenly have to deal with life sober. Yes, being sober is awesome - but life is still life, and not always easy. Since so many of our problems were caused by Al, I think many of us assumed that once Al is taken out of the equation, things will magically improve and all our problems will disappear. It's a difficult wake-up call, but many things are still the same - we still have to deal with people we may not particularly like, or still have to take out the rubbish bins, still get stuck in traffic, or still have to do the dishes and the ironing - put all your pet hates in here. They will not go away - and we suddenly find that we now have to deal with them sober - and we don't have a whole lot of experience dealing with things sober. I wonder if that doesn't lead many people to relapse: things have changed, but things are still the same, so why bother with not drinking, then.
Most of the problems or worries or things I didn't want to face before I became sober are still there - so What now? I thought all my problems were going to be solved by getting, staying and being sober. Sorry Dreamy, life's not like that.
For me, the answer was to stop running away from things, the way I did with booze, and face them square on: to deal with what I can deal with , to change what I can change, to accept the niggling things. Sober. No other way. It means learning things I should have learnt long ago, but avoided and numbed with Al, relearning things I'd forgotten somewhere along the way - behaving like a responsible adult. People who never hid behind booze have had a much longer time in in which to do so, but I'm on an intensive crash course, so to speak. I can deal with that. I'm sober.Comment
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Just Starting Out...for the thousandth time
Change, I can deal being like Robin Hood! Stealing from the rich and giving to the poor! Anyhow you cut it, the information is here, and we need to use it!
Lead, I hope you don't think I wrote that post! It was from Dream who posted it in the NN! Stole that one, too. But I liked it, NS was talking that nothing is a constant, and things are always changing. I do see improvements, but need to remember, as we all, that just because something good doesn't happen one day, we don't need to think we've failed. Flat is ok for a bit. It's real life. It's not a smooth process. And thank you for your support! How are you doing???Sometimes what you're most afraid of doing is the very thing that will set you free.Comment
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Just Starting Out...for the thousandth time
NSSY posted this in Gracie's journal and I liked it because it's simple and I'd like to simplify things for myself and my life:
NS said:
For me, the key element was changing my thinking in two major ways:
1. Eliminating the idea that having a drink was an option I could consider. Ever. Once that is gone, you have to be a little more creative in dealing with the ups and downs of normal life.
and
2. Developing an attitude of gratitude for the tiniest changes that resulted from not drinking - I mentally paused and appreciated things numerous times during the day - and still do. When it has occurred to me 8 or 9 times by 4 pm how much better my life is, my thoughts just don't turn to drinking anymore. It seems like a really stupid idea now.
Over time, the physical addiction wanes and you're left with the mental/emotional/psychological aspects and for me, the points above really helped.
SOOO. KISS!Sometimes what you're most afraid of doing is the very thing that will set you free.Comment
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Just Starting Out...for the thousandth time
Hey j-vo
I agree wholeheartedly
The little things to be thankful for each day add up to a huge win come 4pm and then its easy to say no to al.
And to say absolute NO to al IS being realistic since the "repair" to self, brain, organs etc does take time. Heck...it took how many years to make me feel like crap? lol When I look back only 13 days?......I would estimate that my "whole" has improved by at least 20-30%
I can only imagine what I will feel like in a year....which?.....is just around the corner.
Yaaaaaaa....In a year?......I would presume that writing here will be a joy in itself.
Alcoholics are not used to visualizing a year in advance...they visualize only a day or two. The Seahawks visualized a year ahead...Olympians visualize four years.
With that in mind......I look forward to my year ahead...one step..one day...at a time.Comment
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Just Starting Out...for the thousandth time
Lead, it is incredible how fast we feel better, but once we ingest that poison, our bodies know it. Our bodies don't want that in our system, hence the bad reaction called hangover. And I agree, what will it be like in one year? From the long-termer's, I can put a very high bet that it's going to be awesome.
I'm ok with one day at a time. Don't need the pressure of anymore than that. And yes, then you can enjoy each day and not think, "can't wait until next year to be healthy and happy!"Sometimes what you're most afraid of doing is the very thing that will set you free.Comment
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