Just Starting Out...for the thousandth time

[Icanwithoutacan]

Just Starting Out...for the thousandth time

Night all ... Good day 6 shopping w my 4 girls ....but tired now .... Good job hanging in there everyone
Actually I haven't really been struggling .... It's just to get it in my head that I can't drink again w/o negative consequences and to get comfortable that....that's my big problem

[Icanwithoutacan]

Just Starting Out...for the thousandth time

*7 here Eloise!

[Eloise]

Just Starting Out...for the thousandth time

K- hang tight ican!

[j-vo]

Just Starting Out...for the thousandth time

Hi all,
It's been really busy lately! Went to visit mom and dad this weekend, abou a 5 hour trip to and from. Then back to work today. Short, but busy weekend. Bought an Ipad so I can keep close to the forums. I need to keep reading, even though I feel as though I've read everything i possibly can, i need to keep reminding myself the reasons why I should always stay away from the beast. He's my enemy.

Day 15 for me today. It was wonderful waking up on a Monday and feeling wonderful. I sang all the way to work. And prayed! It hasn't been a struggle for me either. I think after so many failed times, it's clicking in my brain. Better late than never.

Eloise, learning Dutch has to be so difficult. Are you taking a class, personal tutor? How are you doing with it? Is this a long-term move or short term? I hope you can find some good friends there. Please tell us about the culture! I'd love to hear about it. We went to Italy this past summer and met relatives. My great grandfather's nieces and nephews. Wow. What a wonderful experience that was. We stayed with three different families. None of them spoke English and we didn't speak any Italian. But that didn't stop us from communicating. We used an app on our iphones called, "say hi." We spoke into it and it translated what we said in Italian for them and vice versa. We also used google translate. What a wonderful experience.

I was really thankful for today. I had a chiropractic appt. at 6:00 tonight. My son got home from basketball and did something to his shoulder at practice. So he went with me. It feels so good to be happy around him, being with him, not hiding from him. I can't tell him i love him enough. Just short periods of quality time is what we usually get, but I'm grateful for that.

Ican, so glad you're having wonderful quality time with your girls. Four! That's a lot of shopping I bet! How old are they? I have one boy who will be 16 in a few weeks. Can't believe he'll be driving soon. I'm sure you're busy all the time!

Hi Queenbug, sounds like a good read. Yes, the idea of the teenagers and younger cultures drinking and drugs is quite scary. I've been thinking of my son and when he goes out with his friends on the weekends. I always say to him to please make good choices, call if he ever needs us to come and get him. Now I'm so grateful I can be the one to go and get him if needed. Not before. I want to be present in his life as much as I can now. I missed some, going to bed so early because I started drinking in the afternoon, or just being a lonely person with what I thought was my friend, Al. I know we cant change the past, but it still eats at me that I wasn't always the mom I wished I were. I can easily download books now with my new ipad. This is the most fun toy I've ever had! Now if I can learn how to use it, that'll be so awesome! LItlle by little,Odat, I will learn. There's just so much with this technology, that my brain can only wrap around about one new thing a week. hehe. I'm a little slow.

Ok, 5:30 comes very fast, so goodnight all! Hope I hear from you tomorrow.

[Pavati]

Just Starting Out...for the thousandth time

Hi, all:

I'm new to the site and reading around.

I Can, I really relate you what you said about the struggle is not in the day to day but in the acceptance of not drinking. That is what kept me lurking for so long and not posting, my unwillingness to wrap my head around that. For now it is one day at a time.

J-Vo - I am a teacher, too, and I don't like the label. I sometimes feel like that is denial in myself - is there really a fuzzy area between alcoholism and non-alcoholism, or is it really black and white. Some folks have an off switch and some folks don't?

Anyway, thanks for letting me crash your thread. Have great nights!

[Eloise]

Just Starting Out...for the thousandth time

Good morning all- am still sick with flu unfortunately so will keep it brief.
J-vo- I will explain more about learning Dutch & I don't really know how long term this is? Depends on a lot of things, but I have to take an language & culture exam in about a year & a half,
This is why I started to learn as soon as we got here.
Good luck today everyone!

[Eloise]

Just Starting Out...for the thousandth time

Welcome Pavati. Samstone recommended reading Allen Carr while I wait for my supplements & he Makes a lot of sense. Check Amazon.com just for laughs.
I think one of the reasons I failed in the past is because I kept focusing on what I was missing not how much better I felt. There is a lot to be said for thinking positive.

[j-vo]

Just Starting Out...for the thousandth time

Evening all,
Another great day without AL. Wow. The energy is returning, the peace of mind, the productivity is increasing. Incredible. Just need to keep remembering how precious sobriety is. I will do that by continuing to come here, read as much as possible, and kick AL in the a** when he tries to come around. I know it's gonna happen. But I'm on guard, and need to stay that way. I haven't had to deal with him yet and I'm on Day 15. I think maybe it's because I've got lots of tools in my box. Too many bad memories of hangovers, missing out on life's joys, behaviors that Im ashamed of. I'm ready to move on. And stay moved on!

Welcome Pavati,
So we're in the same profession! I teach 8th grade Language Arts. What do you teach? In Allen Carr's and Jason Vale's book, there are no labels given. I like their take on everything, as it does focus on the truth about alcohol and people's perceptions. Both author's are very similar. Whatever it is, whether we label it or not, we still don't have that off switch. But there are lots of tools here at MWO. Glad you're here!

Hi Eloise, sorry you're not feeling well. Take care of yourself. I've read Allen Carr and Jason Vale, as I said above is another good and easy ready. I liked both books. Get well!

Ok, time for bed. Night all, night MWO, night John boy...

[Icanwithoutacan]

Just Starting Out...for the thousandth time

Night guys! Feel better soon Eloise

[Pavati]

Just Starting Out...for the thousandth time

Hi,

I am an administrator now, but I taught high school social studies. I still call myself a teacher because the classroom is still where my heart is. I think that there are a lot of drinkers in the caring professions (nursing, etc.). I'll check out the books - I have heard them mentioned here quite a bit.

I am finishing day three. A slight struggle as my husband is away for four days taking care of his dad and I had communication/transportation issues with both kids. My immediate thought was - wow, a drink would make me not care as much. But it was a fairly fleeting thought that a deep breath and a cold glass of bubbly water took care of.

Eloise, hope you feel better soon.

Happy, sober Tuesday!

[j-vo]

Just Starting Out...for the thousandth time

Pavati, good choice. I know those thoughts come, but they also go if you replace with another thought and/or activity. Did you ever hear of the acronym HALT? Hungry, angry, lonely, tired. Well, my two biggest triggers are being anxious and tired. Have to be on guard all the time, especially with those two.

Have a good day all!

[Eloise]

Just Starting Out...for the thousandth time

Thanks for the get well wishes, not getting much better though.
Bummer. I wish I could hit the gym! Tomorrow is day 13 and still no supplements yet.
Looking forward to getting that package.

[j-vo]

Just Starting Out...for the thousandth time

It's day 16 for me. I think. Wow, can I say the same thing I did yesterday? Well, I can't remember what I said yesterday, but I know I was thankful for feeling so flippin' great. What a positive impact no drinking has on my system! My anxiety has decreased, my depression has lifted, and I'm just so productive. Jeez!!!

At work, my patience has gotten so much better. I work with teens, so sometimes it can be a little tricky, especially with the girls, but I'm not letting little things steal my happiness and peace.

Gonna go over to the toolbox and read for awhile.

Get better Eloise!!!

[j-vo]

Just Starting Out...for the thousandth time

note to self: read more of "You know you're an alcoholic when..." in general discussion. Read more of toolbox.

I was reading the 'you know you're an alcoholic when..." and related to so many posts. Wow. I've done so many stupid, humiliating, embarrassing things in front of co-workers, friends, family, son and have to remember all of those incidents. Maybe I'll start listing them here, so I have my own list right in front of me if and/or when the beast comes knocking on my door. I think I will do that starting tomorrow. One of mine:

after drinking everything in the house, drinking my husband's cooking wine. He started hiding that, too.

[Pavati]

Just Starting Out...for the thousandth time

Hi, all:

Thanks for the info about HALT. I hadn't heard about it until I started lurking here, but I try to remember to eat and take deep breaths as much as possible.

That "you know you're an alcoholic when..." really got to me. One of the things that got me to finally start posting here was running into a colleague at a concert and not even remembering until she mentioned it the next day. I was pretty embarrassed. There are more, but I will have to gain the courage to "type them out loud."

I am finishing day 4 and slept better the last three nights (albeit with sweats and crazy dreams) than I have in a while.

Happy AF hump day.