Just Starting Out...for the thousandth time

[Samstone]

Just Starting Out...for the thousandth time

hey Eloise
hope you're feeling better, the flu is the worst.
Sam

[j-vo]

Just Starting Out...for the thousandth time

Eloise, any better?

Pavati, know what you mean. I've had so many embarrassing incidents. But I think that if I type them out, I can read them over and it'll remind me why I can't drink alcohol. I hated blackouts. Part of the night just gone. Another one...

Well, yesterday was a really long day. Didn't get to post at all. I worked, then after work, I took my kids on an after school walking field trip to the high school to see a final dress rehearsal for the play, "Flowers for Algernon." My students just finished reading the book, so I thought this would be an awesoe opportunity for them to see the play. It was a coincidence that the high school drama club was putting this performance on. They do a different play every year. Anyhow, the kids loved it! I work in a low income district, and lots of these kids don't get the experiences that more "privileged" kids do. We walked over with 75+ kids. They were so well-behaved and I was grateful! I had a stupid grin on my face all the way home. I feel really blessed right now. Blessed that I'm able to enjoy seeing the happiness on their faces, blessed I have a job, blessed I'm not drinking and have a clear head, blessed for my beautiful family and friends, blessed for my health. Wow. Life is good. So I got home, and had to freshen up as my son had a 8:00 basketball game. Went and watched his game which was a good game!

Oh, what a day. I would never have had the energy to do all of this when drinking. I would have been angry that I couldn't go home after school, nap, get a bottle of wine, because I had all of these nagging things to do, such as make 75 kids happy, and see my son thrive on the court. Yep. Angry I was not. Frustrated I was not, that I had all of these things going on. Nope. It made me thankful, grateful, and happy. Peaceful. I'm beatin' you, you bitch of a beast, AL.

[Pavati]

Just Starting Out...for the thousandth time

Hi, All.

J-Vo, Sounds delightful. What grade do you teach again? It is great that the high school is so close to your school.

I am making a quick check in. My sister and I went on a looong (6 plus miles) hike today, many hills involved. Hiking is my favorite place to be after the beach. I always spend my birthday on a hike to the beach - a perfect combo. Anyway, I have had a knee injury so it is the longest I have been in a while and it felt great. After the hike my sister came over for dinner. She is one of my drinking buddies (but she doesn't have the same problem I do), so I was a little tempted but stuck to the bubbly water with juice. I haven't told her the exact extent of my problem, but she knows that I am trying to break a bad habit. She has heard my tales of hangover remorse enough times to know it is probably good for me.

Eloise, I hope you're feeling better.

Happy AF Sunday, coming up.

[Eloise]

Just Starting Out...for the thousandth time

Yeah, thanks everyone ... Feeling better today. Off to volunteer at a holiday bazaar.

[j-vo]

Just Starting Out...for the thousandth time

Hi girls!
This weekend was such a relaxing, restful weekend. I caught up on my sleep, got things accomplished, went to a nice italian restaurant where the food was so delicious, and saw a movie called "Last Vegas" with great actor, Morgan Freeman, Deniro, and Douglas. Cute flick! I had fleeting moments where I thought about AL, as the weekends were always binges for me. It's going to take a long time for this to feel like normal, as I've done the same things for 30 years on the weekends. I can't expect it to change in a few weekends. So I accept that I will have those fleeting thoughts, but I must remember why I do not drink. I certainly don't feel remorse about waking up feeling rested, clear-headed, and hangover free. I didn't do anything stupid, so why would I feel remorse about that. It only makes me feel happy and peaceful.

Pavati, wow! 6 miles hiking. What a feat! That has to feel so awesome. And to have a sis to do that with you is a blessing. My sister and I are best friends. We are each others "person." She's a blessing to me. And just like your sis, my sis can drink and control herself. She's happy for me that I'm not drinking, of course, because she loves me. Oh, I teach 8th grade. Crazy age, I know, but they're so darn cute and a pain in the ass sometimes. Gotta love 'em.

Hi Eloise! Glad you're feeling better lady! Have a good day at the bazaar. Let us know how it's going for you.

[giraffe1234]

Just Starting Out...for the thousandth time

Thinking of you j-vo; hang in there.

[j-vo]

Just Starting Out...for the thousandth time

Morning,
I'm on day 21. And I'm feeling like a million bucs. I feel this time around, it's very different. I think it's because I'm taking control of my own recovery. We know ourselves very well. What works for us, and what doesn't. Sometimes it takes many slips and falls to figure it out. I've had many of those, and feel as though I'm figuring it out. I'm still repeating the mantra, ODAT, as the forever word creates a little anxiety in my psyche. I'm grateful for all of your support here, and I will continue to come here everyday so that when AL tries to win me over, I know I've got many people here to beat his ass. Thank you!!

[Pavati]

Just Starting Out...for the thousandth time

Hi, Everyone:

Way to go, J-Vo - 21 days - three weeks. I'm glad to hear you're feeling great. I'm right behind you and I hope I always will be! I am with you with the ODAT - I get to feeling "why bother" when I think about forever. It feels almost like it gives me an excuse to drink now since forever seems impossible. I never really thought about that phrase until I dove into this sobriety thing. All of my other "quits" were just for January, lent, until I lose 10 pounds - whatever. They always had an end time. This is weird and different for sure. I feel good, and today I don't feel tempted. I keep the K-9 mantra in my head - no one ever regretted NOT drinking.

Giraffe, Eloise, whoever is popping in here, have great days.

[Eloise]

Just Starting Out...for the thousandth time

You too Pavati- enjoy your day. Got my supplements yesterday & feeling optimistic. I need to get back into my exercise & work routine after that flu. I was feeling crappy again yesterday.

[j-vo]

Just Starting Out...for the thousandth time

Evening! Day 22 here. I stated up in Newbies Nest that I wasn't feeling myself today. For the past few weeks, I've been feeling high on sobriety. I've been feeling so happy and peaceful. Today, I had a tired, dull feeling. Not sad, just tired. It may have been due to working late last night, then going back to work early this morning. I tried pinpointing the problem, but to no avail. I couldn't find the "excuse" for why I was feeling this way. So I'm just gonna go with the fact that everyday is not gonna be perfect, I'm not going to feel perfect, and that's absolutely never a reason to drink. I was thinking I needed to make an addition to my schedule. I'm three weeks into this, and maybe my body needs a little working out. I'm debating whether to get up when my husband does (at 4:30) and get on the treadmill before getting ready for work, or do it after work. My problem is that I get up at 5:15 now, and I'm so tired when I get home that I'll lay down for a nap. When I get up from the nap, it's so hard to get going. I need a cup of coffee then. Usually, I've been able to get on the treadmill after the nap and cup of coffee, so I may push myself in that direction.

Pavati, it's weird for me, too. Yea, I set the same limits, tried moderating unsuccessfully, I'm glad you're not feeling the temptations. I feel the same, although I'm still going to keep my guard up on the weekends. Soon, my son's basketball games will be on Tuesday and Friday evenings, and that's one weekend night that I'll not need to think about it. I'm so excited for the season to begin as he'll be playing a lot on varsity this year. I do like K-9's mantra, "No one ever regretted not drinking." So true.

Eloise, what supps did you purchase? So glad you're feeling better. I used to take the supps offered here at MWO and I"m sure they're good. I take Seredyn for anxiety issues. It helps a lot. I also take melatonin at night before bedtime. Oh, and of course, my one a day. I tried the kudzu when I was attempting moderation, but it didn't work too well for me. Let me know how you're doing.

Night girls!

[Pavati]

Just Starting Out...for the thousandth time

Hi,

I realized that one thing that was making me feel bad was the time of the month. In my life either alcohol effected me that time of the month, or I drank more to hide the feelings. I always feel blue and sad, but one thing I've realized (through therapy, self reflection and a lot of reading) is that as sad/blue as I feel, I know it will go away. I try breathing, some yoga, whatever, to get me through. This is the first time in a while that I have done it sober - and I made it. It was ok. Like I hear others "say" around here, sober life is not perfect. There will still be ups and downs. I'm sorry you had a down day, J-Vo, and I'm sorry you're not well, Eloise, but (as you know) we'll be through it soon and we'll fell so much better having done it sober.

Happy Tuesday.

[Icanwithoutacan]

Just Starting Out...for the thousandth time

Hey guys .... Didn't do we tonight.... That time if the month for me too pavati... Just tired and angry and I drank .... I admire your 3 weeks jvo

[Eloise]

Just Starting Out...for the thousandth time

J-vo- I am doing okay. I ordered a starter pack from mwo. My goal is to quite, and of I mess up not to give up like I have done in the past.
I am reading Allen Carr & will read rational recovery & work with the cd.
I need more tools to figure out how to make this stick. Woke feeling okay, my guess is in a week I should notice a difference?

[Willow23]

Just Starting Out...for the thousandth time

Me too Pavati, I always feel anxious/irritable/emotional around full moon. Sounds weird right?! I don't know if it's the full moon itself or if it somehow coincidences with where I am in my cycle, but yeah - I know what you mean.

[istym4me]

Just Starting Out...for the thousandth time

I used to call it My need to howl at the moon... My cycle definitely ran with the moon cycle.

It seemed the urge to drink was always stronger just before and with the full moon and right before my period.

I am now without a cycle- I was still drinking. Not minimizing the stronger urges at all, they certainly seemed/were real to me. (right now, thinking about this, nostalgic, I miss them, the stronger urges and I miss the 'feel' of the full moon... it made me feel more connected somehow) Wow, so with that cycle gone, my drinking had less pattern, more consistency in place of the spiking. Interesting. I had forgotten all about this happening.