Just Starting Out...for the thousandth time

[j-vo]

Just Starting Out...for the thousandth time

Posted by red67 in response to looking for peace's question, "When will the triggers go away?"

Everything at first (and I mean in the first year) may bring up drinking thoughts. It's the rountine you are trying to break. What I did, and still do, when the thoughts come up is immediately tell myself I don't drink. I distract myself with anything else, usually after a couple of minutes the thoughts are gone. I also,still everyday after almost 3 years sober, remind myself how grateful I am to be sober. I read everyday here, and especially the posts of the ones who are strugglingn to remind myself of the mental storm I was living in when I drank.

Everyone is different, but the most important thing is do not drink no matter what. The drinking thoughts and cravings do for the most part go away if you stay sober. I changed my thinking from feeling sorry for myself because I could not drink to being grateful that I wasn't a slave to this monster anymore.

Stay vigilant and you will conquer this!

[j-vo]

Just Starting Out...for the thousandth time

Pav posted this in LOAMS thread -what she says when people ask her about drinking. I really like this!!! And if anyone judges that comment, well, shame on them!

I have been just saying “I’m not drinking.” People sometimes want to know why and I say that I found myself getting a habit I didn’t want to have and that I feel so much better I might just stay quit “for a while.” So far so good.

[j-vo]

Just Starting Out...for the thousandth time

I posted this in the Loamers Thread:

I've been thinking about triggers as I had a fall last weekend, and I want to become aware of the smallest details that got me there. I know, thinking too much again, but sometimes this reflection is necessary and I feel it's too important to me not to screw up again.

Anyhow, related to what NS said, we prepare ourselves for the big challenges such as going on vacation, family gatherings, work get-togethers...I consider that easier, because like NS said, we already have our plan in place. We already took the choice off the table and are strong in our resolve to make the night go the way we want.

But what happens with the unprepared triggers such as what Acadia and I had? These are bigger triggers for me, now that I look carefully at what happened in the past to me. Every time I fell, it wasn't when something big was planned. It was a "last minute thought" and it sent me into the throes of mental addiction. This is the actual time where I need to use my tools, to put into place what I know I need to do. I will be aware of this more than ever, and take action, not let it break me. I want to know what it feels like to be one year sober, when I am not having drinking dreams, what it feels like not to have a fear of slipping, what it feels like to be separated for a long time from AL. I know it'll get easier as time goes on, but if slips continue to happen, it won't get easier. Do I want to struggle all of my life with this? NOPE. I certainly do not.

[NoSugar]

Just Starting Out...for the thousandth time

Love your new avatar, J-vo. It's like your friends are always with you :hug:.

[j-vo]

Just Starting Out...for the thousandth time

Isn't it great! It's Humbles painting she posted....of us! Yes, you're always with me.:h

[j-vo]

Just Starting Out...for the thousandth time

Posted by G-bloke on a morning that I woke up contemplating my life circumstances. My low self esteem. Did my low self esteem lead to drinking? Did it have anything to do with the fact that I became an alcoholic? I don't believe so. I believe I would have become an alcoholic even if I did have different life circumstances. I don't have an off switch, and neither did many of my family members that came before me. Really, it doesn't matter. I should never drink, I will not drink. And I will take care of myself. Thanks G-bloke for these inspiring words...

You are worthy.

You are worthy. Yes you. It doesn't matter how low you think you have sunk. It doesn't matter what you are hearing from others, or indeed yourself, you are worthy.
Many of us often tell ourselves that we are worthless, hopeless, not good enough, and mean nothing. Wrong. Nope. This is not so friend. Regardless of your past.

Just remember this.

You are worthy, and you mean something. You are unique and special, individual and full of potential and possibilities for your next adventure. Just like the rest of us.

Don't waste your time on Earth getting numb. Don't wait for a bolt of lightning to signal your path either. Some of us have to get out there and find it, dig deep within ourselves. And you will.

Never, ever forget that you mean something here on this planet, in your town, street, house, and to the people in your life, whoever they are.

No-one in your life? Well friend, you mean something to me, an anonymous,
reasonably sharp, and some say handsome, trending man about town,
and i am someone who knows a bit of you, just like you know a bit of me. But don't listen to me. Become your best friend, and listen to your own intuition, path and cue's.

Whether you are battling with day 1, day 2, day 6, day 36, day 256, day 1,000,006, it doesn't matter, you are worthy and you mean something no matter what you may think of yourself right now.

You are worthy, and you are a big STAR. No matter what, and no matter who.

Now, get out there, go for your dreams and bring them to life.

Ooroo, G bloke.

[j-vo]

Just Starting Out...for the thousandth time

Quotes I stole from NS!

"I will also say live with NO REGRETS? and that means not regretting your past struggles. Why do I say that? Because what you have been through has made you into the YOU you are today." - Carly Alyssa Thorne

?If you own this story you get to write the ending.?
― Bren? Brown

[j-vo]

Just Starting Out...for the thousandth time

One thing I do too much of is think. Thinking nonstop is unhealthy. Thinking nonstop about the "why's" of drinking, how long will the triggers be a problem...From LC:

LC, just before my two year anniversary, I started to have an irrational fear that I was going to drink. I posted about it in the "Well that didn't take long..." thread. I truly didn't want to drink but it bothered me to have those thoughts. I began to try to figure out what was going on which made me think about it even more. In the end all that thinking about thinking about drinking was really counter productive. I should have just taken the sage advice to just push the thoughts out of my head! Let's not reinvent the wheel here! We don't need to know what's going on it's simple: we are alcoholics and it's a sneaky ba$tard! All that wasted thinking, I could have learned a new recipe or something instead!

What I especially liked is:

Just push the thoughts out of my head.
We don't need to know what's going on. It's simple. We are alcoholics and it's a sneaky bastard.

[j-vo]

Just Starting Out...for the thousandth time

Going to Florida to visit folks. I'm so happy i get some down time! It's going to be in the 60's/low 70's but that's better than constant cold, gray weather.

I know I'll have a chance to post and read, as that continues to be the most important thing in my world. Sobriety means being happy and I don't ever want that to change.

Glad I'm going to have an AF mini vacation! I will appreciate it so much more, as I'll come back to work with some new energy that I feel is depleted by the daily grind and the depressing cold. Can't wait to see Mr. Sun!!!!

[j-vo]

Just Starting Out...for the thousandth time

So, mini vacation is going really well. I am AF and going strong. What I know now, and keep reminding myself when I step into the pity party is that everything we do can be fulfilling and fun without AL. Everything, minus a party where alcohol is the main focus. That's where I will draw the line and that's where I won't go.

While at the airport on Tuesday evening, I was eating in a restaurant, reading MWO and this older man sat at the next table. He ordered a chardonnay, the small 6 oz. one, not the "best deal" that I used to order, at 9 oz. and 10.50. Anyhow, of course that caught my eye, and I thought, Hmm. I looked over when the waitress set the glass on the table. He didn't touch it for awhile. After he finished his dinner, he had a little over an inch of wine left in the glass. He ordered a decaf coffee. Of course I wondered if he was going to finish the wine. I can't imagine leaving that much in a glass, not even less than that. He didn't finish it! Amazing. That's like if I had a food I liked in front of me, and I was way to full to finish it, I would just say, wrap it up and take it home. I might have it tomorrow, but it'll probably end up in the trash. That's what alcohol is like to people who don't have a problem, who are not alkies like us. They can take it or leave it. I knew that, but it's just interesting to watch from time to time and a good reminder of the difference between normal drinker and a person without the off switch. That's what true moderation is to me.

[NoSugar]

Just Starting Out...for the thousandth time

j-vo;1617368 wrote: Of course I wondered if he was going to finish the wine. I can't imagine leaving that much in a glass, not even less than that. He didn't finish it! Amazing. That's like if I had a food I liked in front of me, and I was way to full to finish it, I would just say, wrap it up and take it home. I might have it tomorrow, but it'll probably end up in the trash. That's what alcohol is like to people who don't have a problem, who are not alkies like us. They can take it or leave it. I knew that, but it's just interesting to watch from time to time and a good reminder of the difference between normal drinker and a person without the off switch. That's what true moderation is to me.

Great observation!

I remember looking at those not-empty glasses and then at the person and playing with the idea that I doubted that that person has too many cooties... :H Don't worry, I never actually drank from a stranger's glass but I did have it cross my mind!!!

[j-vo]

Just Starting Out...for the thousandth time

If you're questioning whether you should go to a bar to have fun with friends and listen to live music, answer these questions honestly:

1. Am I going because I love this band and really wanna listen to their music?
2. Am I going to feel sad, longing to have that drink in my hand that everyone has?

Well, I decided I didn't want to go line dancing last night because of number 2. I really wanted to listen to this band and dance (I almost typed drink!) but I felt that I would be longing to have a drink and be more focused on that than enjoying the band. Maybe this will be different in the future, but for now, I choose not to take any chances or make myself long for something I can't have. There will be other times I can dance and listen to music, but last night wasn't that night.

I guess some people may see this as avoiding a situation. I will not deny that. Yeah, I may not have a choice of whether I am in that situation, but if I do have a choice and feel that I won't enjoy it for those reasons, I won't go. Maybe I have to bit the bullet and try it. I will eventually.

[j-vo]

Just Starting Out...for the thousandth time

NS, hehe!

[Bastet]

Just Starting Out...for the thousandth time

I think you were being smart j-vo. I would have done the same thing. I think my husband is wondering if we will ever go out to dinner again but honestly I just don't think it would be that enjoyable. I would rather get take out and enjoy the food at home than look at all the people, him included, enjoying their cocktails or wine. Like you said there are plenty of days in the future to listen to a band or go out to dinner. Protecting the quit is the most important thing right now.

[j-vo]

Just Starting Out...for the thousandth time

Bastet,
Yes, I agree. It does feel like a downer, but now I know not to take chances, not to be too cocky thinking I'm ready for this or that. And even if I did go, I wouldn't have drank, but I would have spent too much time focusing on just that. Thanks for your input!