Just Starting Out...for the thousandth time

[j-vo]

Just Starting Out...for the thousandth time

Frances, it is really sad. And it would be sadder to make the same mistake. Stay strong!

Thanks Lead!!!! I am feeling awesome. Thank you and hope you're well!

[j-vo]

Just Starting Out...for the thousandth time

Scottish Lass spoke of this method/strategy when she had to go away to LV. Loved it and thanks SL!

SL, I love your idea of writing your return post in an email and reading it over while you were there. It's these great ideas we have in our little bag of tricks that work so well. All we have to do is look in the bag and pull one out. And I'm gonna pull that one out at the end of this month. I'm going to use that and write a post in the beginning of my alone time (five days) and read it every day a few times a day. Thank you SL!

[j-vo]

Just Starting Out...for the thousandth time

Posted by LC - about staying in the present - focus on here and now...

ok. I am going to be late! Just have to state my goal for the day, which is the same as it has been the past 6 days (which seems like a eternity!)-- not to let my mind wander too far into the past or future. To try and stay as much in the PRESENT as possible. This helps me to stay in the reality of NOW-- which is the only thing I have control over anyway. This is soooo difficult sometimes, but I swear it is helping me to stay sober. The most important thing for me today is NOT to drink. And I won't!!

LC, this is awesome and I'm going to repost in my journal. I've always had a hard time keeping my mind on the present. I still work at this, but need to remind myself more. I guess this is why meditation would be a great choice for me. And you're right. This will help to stay in the reality of NOW - and that is what we have control over - the NOW. Thank you!
__________________
February 2, 2014
No matter how I feel or what happens in my day, I will not drink.

[j-vo]

Just Starting Out...for the thousandth time

Brené Brown: The power of vulnerability | Talk Video | TED

[Audrey14]

Just Starting Out...for the thousandth time

I don't know if I start out thousandth time but definitely a lot..Day 1, have pain in my pancreas and of course anxiety and self-remorse. I had 5 days of drinking binge which kills me, was absent for my course (which is the same importance as a job). At the moment feeling very unwell but I have to stop. Will write tomorrow more, at the moment feeling very weak.:upset:

[j-vo]

Just Starting Out...for the thousandth time

Hi Audrey,
Start with drinking lots of lemon water. This helps in the detox, which you probably already know. Get a plan in place. Make it a simple plan. One day at a time, I will not drink. Keep your mind occupied - find some shows to watch, clean - check out the toolbox for lots of great ideas. Once you get to day three, it's uphill from there. You can do this!

[j-vo]

Just Starting Out...for the thousandth time

And Audrey,
We have a great, supportive group of women in the Loamers thread down in Mnothly abstinence. Please come and join us there. We are on a mission to get and stay AF.

[Audrey14]

Just Starting Out...for the thousandth time

Hi j-vo,
sorry I was crazy busy (which is good!) and feel exhausted but tonight will have 6 AF days. I was feeling quite sick for days and my HB drove me crazy (he's alcoholic) but now he's on a work trip and I enjoy peace, clean house without beer cans and bought today as reward new silk blouse.
Yes, I will join Loamers as well because I know - as I start feeling better "my Devil - Vino" is back with whisper in my ear - you deserve to relax.. It is not relax because with first glass i know that i am doing wrong..

[j-vo]

Just Starting Out...for the thousandth time

Lots of things going on in my mind. But what i need to do is focus on getting through another observation in about an hour. Two principals observing every little word I and the kids say to one another, analyzing responses, and it all seems so contrived instead of the natural progression of a lesson. The new evaluations have created this kind of atmosphere, in which we need to incorporate just about everything we can. To force synthesis is ridiculous, but hey, I'll try to give them what they want to see.

So I've been not completely AF. I need to get back on track, and yes, I can see why that day one is hard. Starting over. I don't want to start over. But I do want my af life back. I've read about people saying "they got their life back after all these years hiding in a bottle." Well, I can't say my life prior to alcohol is anything I want back. It's not. I had the depression, high anxiety, low self-esteem before this. But what I do need to see is the progress, regardless of my alcohol abuse, how far I've come with some things in many years. I can't discount all the good I've done. I tend to do that. I know when I'm AF life is so much better, and I'll get there.

[NoSugar]

Just Starting Out...for the thousandth time

My guess is the longer you put off your last day one, the harder it will be. I hope you just take the leap of faith (bolstered by experience!) and give it up forever. xx, NS

[j-vo]

Just Starting Out...for the thousandth time

You're guess is right, no doubt. I will take the leap.

Observation was better than I anticipated, of course, I don't ever expect the best. But here I am, a perfectionist, and how could things go wrong? Who dialogues ever word and action they will say and make to be sure I fit everything in? Me. Especially when it's my name attached to these state tests. I have approximately 9 years left in teaching and I know that I've given my all, and more. I'll continue no matter what they ask of me, even if I disagree. I'm not a confrontational person. Sorry, won't go there. But I know that in between all the shit they tell me to do, I do what I want, and that's to make these kids laugh, love themselves, have good connections between one another. So I'll continue to sneak that in no matter what I have to do. My first love is the kids, not test scores. And I must take my knowledge further to fix myself. I'm not just a good teacher, I'm a good person who deserves everything any person deserves. Happiness, peace, love, and acceptance.

[narilly]

Just Starting Out...for the thousandth time

Amen sista!

You are a great person. How lucky those students are to have you.

You know what you want as far as AL goes, just keep on trying, nobody EVER is perfect.

I have a hard time with confrontation myself. I really try and avoid it and at work sometimes that is difficult. I had a little altercation with a guy at work last week. He is about 55 and looks like SHREK because he is huge! Actually he is a Farquad. But anyway, now I just ignore him in the hall and we are not talking to each other. It is so childish. He acts like a 10 year old. Oh well, he has discarded relationships all around him: divorced, kids are estranged, not really any friends...you reap what you sow right?!
You reap what you sow, that is exactly what you are doing with your students. That's going to be one big Harvest for you J-Vo

xxxx

[j-vo]

Just Starting Out...for the thousandth time

by LuckyFlower:

I got off work. It was a Thursday (which is the beginning of my weekend since I do not work on Fridays). Got to my regular grocery shopping and the thought of a drink just jumped out of my head. I did not crave it nor did I refuse it. I just walked into the liquor store without giving it any thought. That was my bad. I didn’t study relapse after I quit drinking because I wasn’t even imagining it could happen to me. I was completely sure and convinced that the drinking part of my life was OVER for good. Looking back today, I know I was so na?ve and that’s what caught me off guard. That’s the hardest lesson learned for me. Sobriety protection and maintenance is an everyday work just like any other relationship in life. The fact that I quit drinking doesn’t mean I don’t have to acknowledge it each and every day and be smart enough to know that AL will creep on me and I have to be prepared to fight it off, to say enough is enough and to be firm as a rock when it comes down to a drink, just the one infamous drink.

I hope that my answer helps you understand my fall. I know it sounds complicated. It is to me anyway. I never truly appreciated the warnings Byrdie keeps posting about the one drink consequences. Unfortunately, I know them now. Today I understand the reason so many people around the world are hooked and how hard and complicated it is to get out of this vicious AL madness which I had used to think was my life.

[j-vo]

Just Starting Out...for the thousandth time

from treetops:

Sometimes we focus so much on the quitting and not enough on the long term reality of staying sober. Both involve one day at a time. But even with many days of being AF we cant be complacent.
People make mistakes all the time despite their best intentions. This happens in all aspects of life. It's just that with AL it's such a tough road to walk being AF again if you do relapse.

[j-vo]

Just Starting Out...for the thousandth time

true, ODAT goes both ways quitting AL and protecting the quit