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Just Starting Out...for the thousandth time

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    Just Starting Out...for the thousandth time

    Eloise;1664788 wrote:

    Rahul- yes Amsterdam is a party city for sure. In summer people drink on their boats while cruising the canals. Nice pics, thanks! Good luck to everyone today.
    Well one of the things which I realised by myself and I fact also reading help was that partying is not equal to drinking. Now it might be hard to accept. A happening place we see slick bars, clubs romantic restaurants and no drinking ? Well I tell you I have been partying a lot but not drinking. Now it's not easy to accept how can anyone do so but let me tell you a reason how you can accept.

    See alcohol, cigarette, tobacco, Meth, cocaine, heroine are all drugs. All drugs have common trait - addiction. Our brain reacts to all in similar way - getting artificial high which is addictive and brain wants more and more of it. Now our brain does gets exited while seeing the same party places but our society has conditioned it to seeing partying and alcohol together. It used to be tobacco too but now cigarettes is not accepted.

    Have you see young 5 years old kids ? They get high looking at cartoons, parties etc. we were all like them. We have ability to get our natural high without drugs. This natural highs are achieved by water, food, sex or what ever pleases us including parties. The problem is we have tough our brain that high is achieved only by alcohol or our drug.

    Well do a simple thing. Next time in a party or a bar. Notice how many people are not drinking alcohol. You may not find huge number of people (as most of them who don't drink May find it stupid to sit and drink coke for hours next to drunks) but those who are you will see that that may not be getting bored.

    I came back from a beach side conference with party every nights. I was jumping to music, dancing and enjoying like a baby without booze. I was so surprised at my natural high. And I a. Only 3 months sober. People even remarked "u don't need a drink to get high or lose yourself" .

    So when you described Amsterdam has being a party place with people drinking ... It look at it and noticed how we all alcoholics especially associate booze and partying.

    I spent weekend in hamburg last week. I did. It drink nor had any regret but there I was alone so didn't have anyone to go out with. But saw lots of people drinking alone. I was not drinking so enjoyed few party places and slept. I felt whole town was partying except me. Next morning I went for a jog in the park. Was surprised to see so many people doing the same as I. Point is we tend to see people drinking coz we are / were addicted to it. We don't see people smoking if it's not our drug.

    Please read Allan Cars easy way to control alcohol . I found it really helping in setting right prospective on alcohol.

    Come join the new bies nest.
    Rahul
    --------------------------------------------
    Rewiring my brain ... done ...
    Updating brain "attitude" firmware ... done ...
    Rebooting ... done ...
    Restarted program called "Life" ... started successfully ...

    Comment


      Just Starting Out...for the thousandth time

      Rahulthesweet;1664923 wrote: Well one of the things which I realised by myself and I fact also reading help was that partying is not equal to drinking. Now it might be hard to accept. A happening place we see slick bars, clubs romantic restaurants and no drinking ? Well I tell you I have been partying a lot but not drinking. Now it's not easy to accept how can anyone do so but let me tell you a reason how you can accept.

      See alcohol, cigarette, tobacco, Meth, cocaine, heroine are all drugs. All drugs have common trait - addiction. Our brain reacts to all in similar way - getting artificial high which is addictive and brain wants more and more of it. Now our brain does gets exited while seeing the same party places but our society has conditioned it to seeing partying and alcohol together. It used to be tobacco too but now cigarettes is not accepted.

      Have you see young 5 years old kids ? They get high looking at cartoons, parties etc. we were all like them. We have ability to get our natural high without drugs. This natural highs are achieved by water, food, sex or what ever pleases us including parties. The problem is we have tough our brain that high is achieved only by alcohol or our drug.

      Well do a simple thing. Next time in a party or a bar. Notice how many people are not drinking alcohol. You may not find huge number of people (as most of them who don't drink May find it stupid to sit and drink coke for hours next to drunks) but those who are you will see that that may not be getting bored.

      I came back from a beach side conference with party every nights. I was jumping to music, dancing and enjoying like a baby without booze. I was so surprised at my natural high. And I a. Only 3 months sober. People even remarked "u don't need a drink to get high or lose yourself" .

      So when you described Amsterdam has being a party place with people drinking ... It look at it and noticed how we all alcoholics especially associate booze and partying.

      I spent weekend in hamburg last week. I did. It drink nor had any regret but there I was alone so didn't have anyone to go out with. But saw lots of people drinking alone. I was not drinking so enjoyed few party places and slept. I felt whole town was partying except me. Next morning I went for a jog in the park. Was surprised to see so many people doing the same as I. Point is we tend to see people drinking coz we are / were addicted to it. We don't see people smoking if it's not our drug.

      Please read Allan Cars easy way to control alcohol . I found it really helping in setting right prospective on alcohol.

      Come join the new bies nest.
      I hardly ever go to pubs or clubs. Why?Because I know I'm not missing anything. I do like dancing and music and every couple of months have a night out where I do that and I do that without alcohol. I do find it takes a bit longer, approximately 45 minutes to get into the mood, but it's do able and without the expense of alcohol.

      Remainder of the time I don't miss going out drinking, it was boring even if I thought it was exciting or cool.
      I used the Sinclair Method to beat my alcoholic drinking.

      Drank within safe limits for almost 2 years

      AF date 22/07/13

      Comment


        Just Starting Out...for the thousandth time

        Rahul,
        So many great points you brought up. Our brain is conditioned to believe that partying and alcohol are one in the same. I've believed that for all of my adult life, now it's time to recognize that natural "high" as you say kids and babies get from just the simple things in life. Artificial high sounds so...artificial! FAKE! Why not just pull out a joint, or do a line of coke at the bar. Same difference! It makes drinking less appealing when you think of it that way. And it's reprogramming our brains in that manner that makes us successful.

        YouKayBee, I love to dance, and feel great when doing so, but it's hard to find places where the main focus isn't alcohol. Guess I have to try a little harder to find them. Maybe I
        made the focus alcohol?
        Sometimes what you're most afraid of doing is the very thing that will set you free.

        Comment


          Just Starting Out...for the thousandth time

          El,
          I looked up Representational Art! Ok, so it represents something or someone as opposed to abstract art which we can't really identify as something? Cool!!! And you said starting with the Renaissance. I'll look that up next...Don't know the time period.
          Sometimes what you're most afraid of doing is the very thing that will set you free.

          Comment


            Just Starting Out...for the thousandth time

            Ok! Now I know the time period and also that it was a great time of cultural change in so many areas. And the art began to show more emotion. Hmm...I got to see lots of that when my family and I went to Italy this past summer. We visited family that lives in Potenza, then we travelled through Sorrento and the Amalfi Coast, and onto Rome - saw the Sistine Chapel, Vatican, all of the ancient ruins, the Colluseum, and more. Amazing is all I can say.
            Sometimes what you're most afraid of doing is the very thing that will set you free.

            Comment


              Just Starting Out...for the thousandth time

              But complacency is a part of the beast. Don't ever get too comfortable and think that it's ok to have that sip or just one. Tricky!!!!!

              This is exactly the next hurtle to overcome J-vo.
              I have quit in the past and then I sort of 'forget' why I stopped drinking and the cycle slowly starts again. Or my friends say 'hey, no harm done... have some wine." It starts slow gaining momentum over time.

              I haven't spent more than an hour in a bar in almost 2 years. There is little allure for me these days. I agree Youkaybee.... I do not feel I am missing anything. In fact, just being around too much alcohol, regardless if I drink, get my mind going in the direction of 'its not so bad, after all look at all the people drinking and they are fine...' I think I am hardly ready for such a challenge.

              Rainy today, but at least it isn't cold.
              Feeling a bit better today, stronger I think ( hope...
              (AF since 17 May 2014) 2 years 5 months sober

              Comment


                Just Starting Out...for the thousandth time

                I love Italy! I lived there also in the past ... only two years.... very friendly and jovial folks. I hardly find the Dutch as entertaining... but living here just under 2 years and not exactly a social butterfly.
                Drinking is very much an accepted and indulged aspect of life here.
                And overdoing it is not really so frowned upon it seems either. Just part of life? Not sure exactly the mentality, .... but I think waiting for someone to say 'hey, stop drinking so much or so often' will not be coming any day too soon.

                I think we can only worry about ourselves, how things affect us and those close to us, right?
                Can't really worry about the neighbors!!
                (AF since 17 May 2014) 2 years 5 months sober

                Comment


                  Just Starting Out...for the thousandth time

                  Eloise;1665126 wrote:
                  I think we can only worry about ourselves, how things affect us and those close to us, right?
                  Can't really worry about the neighbors!!
                  This is so true, El. We already know how alcohol affects us. This is what we need to keep remembering that yes, it does cause harm to our body and mind, makes us just "exist" in our lives and not participate in it like we have the ability to do. That's the nature of this disease. We get so far, then the mind starts with the "no harm to have just one..." That's the addictive voice talking.

                  I think everywhere alcohol is accepted and a part of any culture (almost). But I've seen first hand the affects of alcohol in my FIL, my aunt's boyfriend, and my neighbor who was just 44 when she ended up in the hospital with cirrhosis of the liver. If we continue to drink, and drink beyond healthy limits, what is this doing to our organs, our brains? It certainly is not doing any good. So to keep remembering how this beast is unhealthy for us, keep coming back to MWO, at least twice daily. It keeps our minds fresh, we see the results of abstinence in the long-term abstainers, we realize that the addictive voice lies right below the surface waiting for us to give in just once. Have a good day!
                  Sometimes what you're most afraid of doing is the very thing that will set you free.

                  Comment


                    Just Starting Out...for the thousandth time

                    Thanks Jvo- I was thinking yesterday 'so what am I going to be on this site forever? How weird!'

                    Not going to worry about That just now.
                    Getting home a bit later seems to help a bit. Its already after 8 and I am just fine. And I had another great art class today. Lots of fun!
                    So true about the long term effects of alcohol. My father had a major heart attack, survived and is doing fine now, 2 years later. Yet all brought on from cigarettes & alcohol. He indulges in neither now and tells me he did not drink that much, yeah right.

                    You have really racked up a lot of AF days girl! So awsome. I can hardly imagine 50+ af days. Lets work on it.
                    (AF since 17 May 2014) 2 years 5 months sober

                    Comment


                      Just Starting Out...for the thousandth time

                      El,
                      I'm gonna think of coming here in terms of something I need to do everyday to stay sober. Connecting with a sober community is probably the number 1 thing you can do to get and stay sober. It's just so convenient now, and thankfully so, as AA didn't work for me - didn't like it much at all. So, it's like exercise. We do it to feel better, healthier in body and mind. If we maintain exercise, we can be fit and feel good about ourselves. It takes a bit of work. And our spiritual self - same thing. I go to church on Sundays and am purchasing a bible that I can read and understand. Exercising my spirituality is important to me, so doing it consistently is key. Yep, my dear, takes a bit of work, but you and I are worth it. So glad you art classes went well today! My school day is just ending, now I have to go to a two-hour meeting on our new evaluation system Have a good night.
                      Sometimes what you're most afraid of doing is the very thing that will set you free.

                      Comment


                        Just Starting Out...for the thousandth time

                        Eliose

                        I too coukd never imagine 30 days AF. But here am ai 3 months ... still fell like a new bie ...

                        Take care ...
                        Rahul
                        --------------------------------------------
                        Rewiring my brain ... done ...
                        Updating brain "attitude" firmware ... done ...
                        Rebooting ... done ...
                        Restarted program called "Life" ... started successfully ...

                        Comment


                          Just Starting Out...for the thousandth time

                          Jvo- I used to HATE those after school meetings! now that I cannot seem to find a new job in a school (in my new land, not surprising I guess) I wouldn't mind to attend a meeting or two. And yes, I agree, our mental health is as important as our physical health. I hardly think I am 'out of the woods' so to speak. Only just getting started.

                          Rahul- kudos to you on your 3 months! And wishing you many more ahead.

                          Well. 12 days is ALMOST two weeks.
                          I would kind of like to stop focusing on the counting, but I won't and I will continue to check in daily. And read. Not really feeling so much better, but do wake up in the morning grateful I didn't drink the night before. That is good. Waking up grateful, a good thing.
                          (AF since 17 May 2014) 2 years 5 months sober

                          Comment


                            Just Starting Out...for the thousandth time

                            One of the great things is seeing so many people starting over, not giving up on this struggle.
                            And it also makes me think 'good grief, that could be me... still trying to quit in 10 years time.
                            And my body and mind taking more years of abuse.
                            Denial is such a strong thing.
                            "oh, it is not such a big deal!' Yes, it is.
                            It is a big deal.
                            (AF since 17 May 2014) 2 years 5 months sober

                            Comment


                              Just Starting Out...for the thousandth time

                              El,
                              Yep, I agree. It's a huge deal. We've given up too many precious years of our lives trying to get this monkey off our back. Yes, I'm glad these people are not giving up. But I don't ever want to go back to day 1 ever again. It's off the table for me, as I know what follows a drink...a drunk...a hangover...depression...anxiety...and this is a feeling that just doesn't go away. I'm tired of the merry go round and I'm getting off and staying off. I'm done making myself dizzy with pain, because that's what alcohol gave me. Count your days. Because before you know it, you're going to wake up and the monkey will be gone. He'll escape. But it takes days, then weeks, and months. We just have to walk the walk and talk the talk for now until we are free of the beast. I'm not saying that becoming complacent is ok. Healthy recovery is important so that we keep our minds in the right place because this "disease" is one of denial, and once you think you've got it under control and don't think about it, it'll creep its way back into our brains and tell us that we're ok to drink. So yes, count your precious AF days because it's these early days that will get you to weeks, and months, and years. Be proud of those days where you're not relying on a substance to make you happy!

                              Here's a gratitude is an attitude thread you may want to read through. Nope you don't have to be happy every single minute of the day, but everyday, we can find something to be happy about...

                              https://www.mywayout.org/community/f9...nge-90061.html
                              Sometimes what you're most afraid of doing is the very thing that will set you free.

                              Comment


                                Just Starting Out...for the thousandth time

                                I'm not saying that becoming complacent is ok.

                                yup. this is the tricky part for me. i rack up those days and then it all seems like it's not really important anyway. how to keep it alive in our minds- that we mustn't take sobriety for granted.
                                i actually thought for a moment this morning - ewh, let's have some wine later!
                                noooo.
                                yikes.
                                off to do something nice and explore this new land.
                                holiday week-end so things are quiet. need to make things interesting for me so i don't get bored.
                                boredom is often a trigger for me.
                                ugh.
                                tomorrow is day 14. don't want to muck that up!
                                (AF since 17 May 2014) 2 years 5 months sober

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