Just Starting Out...for the thousandth time

[^Elle^]

I am on day 8 Let's motivate each other ! We can do it

[Baclofenman]

Hi J-vo

I read your thread with great interest

How are you getting on now - I am like you were once, On day 1 again

Regards

Bacman

[starty]

T
You're right. I can't waste another 5, 10 years of my life not living well. I'm sure my organs are extremely angry with me. I'd love to love life. There's no way in hell anyone can do that as a binge drinker. It ain't happening. The ugly beast has reared its ugly head too many times, and I'm done with his shit. I want life, not insanity. I don't want to look back this time, only to remind myself how poor I was living my life, how many things I've endured feeling like shit. I'm too old to miss out on any more years. I'm ready for anew. I like how you said "you're just missing out on a substance in a glass." True. I can replace that with healthier substances that won't make my life miserable. Thank you.

Thank you Jvo I needed to read this today. Having a really tough one and this does help

[j-vo]

Wow, I couldn't remember where this thread was buried. I'm going to have some time this upcoming week to reread, so thank you for digging it out.

Bac, I'm on day 65 today. As you can see, my start date at MWO was in 2008, but I lurked for a good while before that. I went from abstinence to moderation and back and forth, up and down for that many years. This addiction is relentless as it tries to trick us into believing we're not as bad as the next guy. Well, the truth is, we can't measure in drinks what is bad. We can measure in the quality of life we are living compared to what we want to live. Today, I'm accepting that I can never drink, and I'm also not fighting this battle anymore. There's no battle anymore. I haven't yet learned who I am as an adult nondrinker, but I know good things are coming my way. They've already started in how I feel as I get up daily without a hangover, but the real me is slowly coming out of the woodwork. The me that I never really got to know because alcohol took it away from me. I like thinking about peeling back the layers, one layer at a time, Revealing my new self a little at a time, because that's as fast as it'll go anyhow. We can't rush these things.

I'm still scared. When I have dreams, nightmares about alcohol, they shake me up. When my confidence is low, I feel shaky. But I have people to talk to, and that helps so much. Yeah, I wish next year were here and I could say I have over a year in, and be confident, but then again, how would we learn? Everyday we have is a learning experience. Every day we're not drinking is a good sober day to remember. I was talking with my husband today, and I have been feeling anxious about going to Florida to see Mom and Dad, as Mom has ALS and is slowly losing her physical abilities. I spoke with her last night, and her speech is getting bad, my Dad now purées her veggies because she can't swallow them anymore. My husband told me to just go and enjoy the week with them. Don't think about the future. And he's right. We only have today, this moment. We need to stay present, and be the best we can right now.

I'm rambling a lot here, not sure which way my thoughts are going. But I'm glad I got this out. Bac, take it one day at a time.

[lifechange]

So glad this has risen up from the land of the lost threads, J-vo.
I'm also looking forward to reading back this coming week-
very true, what your husband said.. :hug: and strength to you..

[allswell]

Hi everyone and your post J-vo resonates loud and clear in my ears right now. I have done so much right and all of a sudden so much wrong when it comes to the poison we all deal with. I get motivated for a few weeks, month and at the longest 10 months or so and then I give in to my weakest voice which is when I decide to stop fighting. I hate this product and all it has done to my life and those few still close to me.

[j-vo]

Allswell, are you fighting this toxic substance, the beast, the evil of all evils? If you're trying to fight him/her, it's not worth your time. It is just a toxic substance. It's not a human being, an animal, so it has no thoughts and feelings, but it does have addictive properties and we humans or animals can become addicted to it. We don't have to fight it. We're better off ignoring it. Al thoughts are just that. Thoughts. I have done very little reading, but there's a thread called the Three Principals. I will be learning and incorporating this into my life this upcoming year. Kind of my New Years Resolution. Check it out, because it talks a lot about how our thoughts create our reality. But we don't need to give our thoughts attention, especially the ones we don't want. A lot of people are discovering the 3 P's and have had success with it. If you continue to struggle in "thinking" you're fighting this substance, take a look at that thread. It may be very helpful in putting this struggle to rest.

[Baclofenman]

J-vo

Day 65 - Having tried 1000 times - A true inspiration

Regards

Bacman

[j-vo]

Thanks Bac! And you will get there, too, hopefully not after a 1,000 tries! Anything I can do to support, let me know. We're a supportive group here. Happy Holidays!

[allswell]

I'll check the thread out and thank you J-Vo. I do consider my bad decision making to be the monster, I have no one to blame but myself. I wish I could see beyond the bad moment in life or occasion where everything didn't work out to my liking and not go first and foremost to drinking. One thing I know for certain is I'm alienating people that try their very best to be close and I don't like and never liked the feeling of hiding something.

[Guitarista]

I'll check the thread out and thank you J-Vo. I do consider my bad decision making to be the monster, I have no one to blame but myself. I wish I could see beyond the bad moment in life or occasion where everything didn't work out to my liking and not go first and foremost to drinking. One thing I know for certain is I'm alienating people that try their very best to be close and I don't like and never liked the feeling of hiding something.

Indeed ADubbya. Good too see u. How are things?

How is/was Xmas going J vo ?

[j-vo]

Christmas was a success without the booze! I said to myself this morning, what would G-man say? "Christmas ain't no ticket to boozeville, ya see!!" Hope your Xmas was great!!!

[Guitarista]

Christmas was a success without the booze! I said to myself this morning, what would G-man say? "Christmas ain't no ticket to boozeville, ya see!!" Hope your Xmas was great!!!

Haha. Glad to hear. Yep, nice day had here thx J vo .

[allswell]

Hi J-vo and glad Christmas was sober and beautiful.
A really big hello to Mr. G! Things up and down as is life but trying to make the most of each day and keeping regrets to a minimum. Now exploring the banjo and J.S. Bach transcriptions for the instrument and find it absolutely fascinating!

[Guitarista]

Hi J-vo and glad Christmas was sober and beautiful.
A really big hello to Mr. G! Things up and down as is life but trying to make the most of each day and keeping regrets to a minimum. Now exploring the banjo and J.S. Bach transcriptions for the instrument and find it absolutely fascinating!

That is so cool A Dubbya. Very cool the more I think about it.