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    #1

    5th of vodka on the kitchen counter

    I just have to write about this briefly. My husband, who is not a big drinker seems to be indifferent to my quitting drinking. He bought a 5th of whiskey (his favorite) a few weeks back. I gave him a little bit of grief about it but I can't make him stop drinking, nor would I wish to. this is not his problem...it is mine. So he has his shot or two on the weekends and that's that.

    Tonight I get home and MY brand of vodka is sitting on the kitchen counter!!!! Come to find out that he's making his home made Kahlua. He makes it for friends at Christmas time. He just got through cooking up the coffee/sugar etc but the bottle still sits there.

    It dawned on me how damn simple it would be to crack that bottle open and have a shot. And it sounded good! I'll admit it!

    But it's all fine. I'm going to ask him if he doesn't finish making his batch tonight to put the bottle away somewhere..out of sight.

    I just wonder why he's twice now taunted me with booze. He tells me he's proud of me but I think there is some incentive for him to miss my drinking?? Maybe I'm a bitch now (even more of one)? Who knows!
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    #2
    5th of vodka on the kitchen counter

    temptation

    I doubt it's because you are a bitch now. It's probably because he misses drinking with you. There will always be temptations that you can rise above.

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      #3
      5th of vodka on the kitchen counter

      Nancy - I hope you're right. We do get along quite well.

      Comment

        #4
        5th of vodka on the kitchen counter

        Sake, honestly I don't think he even thinks about it...I don't see him taunting you; I see him as clueless...in a nice way.

        A long time ago a friend told me to think of this whenver I got to obsessing about what other people thought or were doing about what you were doing...
        She said, "the guy that you think has been staring at you on the train for most of the trip....probably isn't...'

        That was actually kind of hard to hear but it's true...we are the only ones policing our lives that closely . For me that's sort of a double edge sword .
        Don't worry about it, Sweetei:l
        On My Own Way Out Since May 20, 2012
        *If you think poorly of yourself, you can fail with a clear conscience.
        https://www.mywayout.org/community/f11/tool-box-27556.html tool box
        https://www.mywayout.org/community/f19/newbies-nest-30074.html newbie nest

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          #5
          5th of vodka on the kitchen counter

          Sake - I agree, I don't think he is consciously taunting you. Since he is "indifferent" to you quitting, I doubt he even gave it a second thought. There may be a small part of him that subconsciously misses drinking with you, but I honestly think it was more of an "oblivion" thing.

          Not exactly the same thing, but I have a friend who was trying to lose weight. Her husband would occasionally bring home her favorite flavor of ice cream which just infuriated her. She felt he was trying to sabotage her. It wasn't until she called him on it that she realized he was just oblivious. It happened to also be his favorite flavor of ice cream, and he just wanted to have some in the house. No ulterior motive. He wasn't the one trying to lose weight, so it never occurred to him that he was being insensitive. But like Kradle said, she was so busy policing her diet, that she just assumed it was personal. Oh and btw...she lost the weight, and looks great

          Maybe just have a talk with him, and see where it goes.
          Everything is going to be amazing

          Comment

            #6
            5th of vodka on the kitchen counter

            People that don't have our struggle to be sober do not understand the struggle...even if they try. I would ask him to help ya out while new in recovery. He probably doesn't have a clue that the bottle was a temptation.
            AF 10/21/2013...ODAT :kudos:

            Comment

              #7
              5th of vodka on the kitchen counter

              Folks who are not alchoholics by and large simply dont understand the minds of alcoholics at all. In my experience they tend to wrap it all up in a nice clean bow and think that our use or lack there of in drinking alcohol is a matter of choice.

              My wife likes to make bourbon balls this time of year and sure enough I came home to a fifth of bourbon on the kitchen counter. Rather than tell her to put it somewhere out of sight wasnt enough for me. Without dramatics I asked her to get it out of house. Just the thought of it lurking about was more than I wanted to deal with just three months in to my new found sobriety.

              I dont know your relationship at all but maybe you just have to have that talk with your husband and open his eyes so to speak. You are not telling him he cant drink but if he really is someone who can live with a shot or two over the weekend than he can certainly do that at a bar outside the home. Good luck but your "quit" is far more important to your relationship than the need to keep a bottle at home for the occasional nip. Just saying.
              Happiness is neither virtue nor pleasure nor this thing nor that but simply growth, We are happy when we are growing.

              William Butler Yeats

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                #8
                5th of vodka on the kitchen counter

                Thanks everyone. I agree..I don't think he's taunting me. I'm probably entertaining taunting myself. The good news is he's done making his batch. I myself put the vodka bottle in the recycle (he left it empty on the counter). When I was shoving it into the already full bin...I had a flash back of seeing 2 half galloon empties of the like in the bin at one time! And I was the only one drinking AND our recycle is dumped once a week!!

                It was a weird feeling to push the empty bottle down in the bin. It was like touching a spider or something! LOL! I couldn't get it out of my sight fast enough!

                Appreciate the support - more than I can say!! When random or strong thoughts of alcohol hit me, I try to post here to get it out of my head. And what do you know?? It worked!!

                Comment

                  #9
                  5th of vodka on the kitchen counter

                  As a bloke I can say we can be a bit "blind" to others about us from time to time. We really are just like Homer Simpson! He will definitely not have been taunting you. It will purely be a case of not thinking. My wife has a bottle of vodka in the house. I know she has it as I bought it for her in the summer. She is saving it for Christmas. I bought a bottle of malt whiskey the same night and mine was gone in four days. Imagine saving a bottle for four or five months without opening it!
                  Last drink 6th September 2013

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                    #10
                    5th of vodka on the kitchen counter

                    Softy you were doing good holding on to that bottle for 4 days. I 'd of drained in 1 day. Not opening a bottle in 5 months is unthinkable
                    Happiness is neither virtue nor pleasure nor this thing nor that but simply growth, We are happy when we are growing.

                    William Butler Yeats

                    Comment

                      #11
                      5th of vodka on the kitchen counter

                      My roommate who didn't drink brought home a bottle of rum while i was almost 4 months sober. I strongly believe that it led to my relapse in July. For 2 weeks i wrestled with the thought of it next door. With the 4th of July long weekend, i just gave in. Not to say that this could happen to you, just be very cautious. For your sake please have him stop this until you are clear out of the woods.
                      Its for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm then and DO NOT let yourself be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. Gal 5:1

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                        #12
                        5th of vodka on the kitchen counter

                        TJAF;1573930 wrote: Softy you were doing good holding on to that bottle for 4 days. I 'd of drained in 1 day. Not opening a bottle in 5 months is unthinkable
                        Yep, but the trouble was that the malt wasn't the only drink I had over the four days, that was my little nightcap after the beer! Fifty days off today - that would've been 12.5 bottles of malt if I had just cut out the beer. :nutso:
                        Last drink 6th September 2013

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                          #13
                          5th of vodka on the kitchen counter

                          Wanted to thank the latest posters for stopping by. I agree that there are things that are just a little too tempting to have around. But I have to be able to overcome those situations. Especially since I will be in a condo with 2 drinkers for 7 days straight! Lucky for me...they like wines I don't have much interests in. Hopefully they won't pick vodka but if they do, they do. I just have to hold onto the resolve I have right now. If the thought enters my mind I have to repeat to myself (several times) "I DON'T DRINK!!"

                          As hard as this is (quitting, I mean), it really comes down to a simple yes or no answer. Either I drink or I don't. If I drink, I am opening myself up to misery and an early death. I have no doubt about that. It's a simple truth. But not simple marching orders at times.

                          Good news is that the vodka is long gone and now mixed in a concoction I have no interest in. I mean you ruin perfectly strong vodka and dilute it in sugar and coffee? Stupid normal drinkers! LOL!

                          Comment

                            #14
                            5th of vodka on the kitchen counter

                            Hello

                            My husband still drinks at home (not usually too excess) so there is still lots of booze around. Thankfully, he hasn't drank my chosen poison (white wine) since I quit. I did throw a little hissy fit when he said he could drink that if he wanted... I pointed out that I have said nothing about him drinking beer, red wine and whisky in front of me and is that not enough choice for him?!! I think he got my point!

                            Funny you say about how you hated having to chuck the bottle yourself. I have also told hubby that I will not take his bottles to the recycling centre and that he needs to do that himself (even if I take the other recyclables).
                            AF since Halloween 2016

                            Trying to kill my Wine Witch! :smileyb:

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