I don't know why.

[retteacher]

Right after I posted here about my 4th AF day, I went into the kitchen & finished off a small amount of wine that was in the fridge. Of course that wasn't enough & opened another bottle & proceeded to drink most of it. I'm so disappointed in myself. I'm not even sure what I told myself in order to get started. I guess I'm back to square one.

[bird]

I don't know why.

Hi retteacher,
Isnt that weird how that happens? I do that all the time.Somehow my brain says (everytime for years on end) just a couple to take the edge off and then.....well you know the rest. I'm only on day 2. Just keep coming here.Today is a new day. Don't beat yourself up.Bird

[retteacher]

I don't know why.

I'm trying not to. I'm just so mad at myself. The 4 days I was AF, I felt so great physically & emotionally. This morning, I have that horrid hungover feeling. It helps to talk about it. I actually thought about not owning up to yesterday's spree. However, if I can't be honest here, then what's the point?

[raoul]

I don't know why.

You're so right. I've lied to myself and the world for years. It's time to stand up and face the truth.

R

[retteacher]

I don't know why.

Yesterday's day of drinking seems to have cancelled out all the AF days I've ever had. I'm plotting & planning my next wine buy & when I can safely drink it. If that's not insanity, I don't know what is.

[Beaches]

I don't know why.

It cancelled out nothing. What an amazing thing to have 4 days AF under your belt. Now you know you can do it. Each attempt you will get closer to your own personal goals.

We all plot and plan, it's part of it. It's that ugly little monster inside our heads. Think of it as the defiant child saying "I can do whatever I want to do" then remind yourself of what YOU want.

Best of luck

[retteacher]

I don't know why.

When I have a slip like I did yesterday, I usually think: "I'll drink the rest of the weekend & start again on Monday." While errand-running today, I passed a liquor store but did not stop. I don't need to "reward" myself w/drinking. What's the "reward?" A worse hangover & more guilt. We're going to my brother-in-law's for dinner tomorrow. He's a recovering alcoholic w/almost 2 years under his belt.

[Arial]

I don't know why.

Hi Retteacher

Great job on getting past the liquor store! :goodjob: - and you're so right - what 'reward' is drinking? Why do we see it as that? Why would we choose to 'reward' ourselves with something so damaging - so great achievement - 4 days AF, won this round, now onwards and upwards! I bet your brother-in-law would have some great tips on how to get through the tough times if you could talk to him? And Beaches is right - this negates nothing - it's all part of the same journey, so keep confident, keep focused and keep going!

All the best,

[sickofit]

I don't know why.

Feeling good

Hi Retteacher,

Grab those good feeling emotionally & physically that you were feeling and hang onto them, dream about them, remind yourself how good they felt and start again. Don't beat yourself up. I'm fighting off those demons "they are not going to get me".

Great advice Arial, your brother in law would have heaps to share.

Good luck
Sickofit

[retteacher]

I don't know why.

Thank you all so much. It's 12:45 AM here, & we had a nice evening w/neighbors. I didn't drink alcohol & remember everything I said & did. To me not having a blackout is one of the greatest gifts of not drinking.

[mac500]

I don't know why.

noboby repies to me.

mac500

[tawnyfrog]

I don't know why.

Hey Mac,

Replying to you right now! :welcome: ... and hope to see you around.

[lushy]

I don't know why.

Mac, perhaps you could start your own thread letting us know a little bit about you. Often times when someone posts in the middle of a thread and they are a new person it sort of gets lost in the mix. No one is ignoring you, I promise you that. I welcome you and wish you nothing but the best. I hope you find what you need with this program! :welcome: