Quitting for my husband

[Myluck]

Hi, here is my story, my husband and I both have been moderate drinkers but since my husband's mom passed away drinking got heavier. So I felt we need to cut back and been begging my husband to cut back, but he wouldn't listen. Hi is golfer and on some days he would go there at 8 am where they would drink till 2 pm and then he will come back home and continue. On many occasions I saw him drinking during the day and would lie he didn't. He drunk so much vodka drinks that he would smell like one in the morning really bad. So he got acute pancreatitis last Sunday and got to the hospital. Severe pain., and when he told doctors how much he is drinking they started to monitor him for withdrawal. He is 9 days AF now and I am here with him not drinking too - I had very mild withdrawal - some poor sleep, which is gone now. I am so happy and feeling great. All doctors we have seen so far said he needs to quit and this is a reality check for him. I am not sure if my husband is totally on board with that. Any ideas on how can I help him? I am not about watching him sell inflicting pancreatitis again on himself again. This can cause cancer and I am very scared.

[spiderwoman]

Quitting for my husband

Well done on making 9 days - the first and hardest week is over now and the good bits are beginning to kick in.

No advice really for helping your husband but hopefully he will also begin to feel much better, if it will help motivate him, add up how much drinking has been costing,might help.

Take a look at the Newbies Nest and Toolbox for extra help, the support here is amazing and I wish you well in your new lifestyle.

Sylv x

[sanchez]

Quitting for my husband

Hi MyLuck,

Welcome! Good job on staying AF for 9 days. As for hubby - seems to me he first has to admit that he has a problem. He may try to convince you he can moderate, but from the sounds of his story, not sure that's possible. I think it's rare when someone who's crossed the line like we have to moderate.

I'm a newbie here too, so I'm learning as well but there are lots of senior members with tons of experience that will have some good suggestions for you.

Any chance you can get him to partake in this forum? There are lots of guys that post and perhaps he can find a quit buddy to help. You two might try counseling together as well since you're both trying to quit.

You came to the right spot for support and help. Read the stories and post as you can - surely you'll find some good advice and tips here to help you and your husband.

[MossRose]

Quitting for my husband

Hi Myluck and welcome.

You are doing great. Nine days AF is something to be very proud of. I hope your husband takes your hand, and joins you fully on this journey. I've posted in the past about pancreatitis. My brother has suffered a few bouts, and each one was a bit more serious. So you are right to be concerned. However, on a positive note, if your husband isn't drinking, then his chances of a recurrence are minimal. You sound like a very caring, loving person. Your husband is a very lucky man. Any chance he would join us? Just a thought.

So glad you are here. Looking forward to getting to know you better. Post often and let us know how you are doing.

[free at last]

Quitting for my husband

MyLuck, congrats on your 9 days AF. I echo what others have said -- would be great if you and/or your husband joined MWO on a regular basis. Most people who have been successful at remaining AF attribute a lot of their progress to reading and posting daily. There's also a rollcall that serves as a motivator in working toward increased numbers of AF days.

You will find a welcoming community here.

[Myluck]

Quitting for my husband

Everybody, think you so much for replying. My husband is not really a type to join blogs and message boards, but I will try. I will do my best to suggest this, but I can't make him. Do you think local AA meetings will help? I am not even sure if he will agree to those. And Sanchez - you are absolutely right - he can't do moderate. I know that 100% - we have tried this.

[MossRose]

Quitting for my husband

ML - There are a lot of success stories here about AA. It may be worth a try. I've never tried AA, but hopefully someone with experience in that area will come along and offer some sound advice. I'm another one who has tried to moderate with dismal results.

Hang in there. Thinking of you.

[Samstone]

Quitting for my husband

MyLuck

my brother had a bout with pancreatitis awhile back. His doctor told him that he should not drink. Maybe getting some on line info or some sort of written documentation that really spells out the concern if he were to drink again. Does he ever look at MWO with you?

[Myluck]

Quitting for my husband

Samstone, no he didn't - he is in denial right now. I have asked him to check on line tonight shout pancreatitis, hopefully he would.

[Samstone]

Quitting for my husband

You can lead a horse to water but...

hopefully it doesn't take another attack. My brother another even though he did not drink. It was very painful and of course early in the morning at around 2. Good luck. Be thinking of you

[3June2013]

Quitting for my husband

My luck I'm so happy you found us! Sorry to hear of your husband's situation. I think the best advice I can give is lead by example. Tell him you don't want to watch him kill himself and that you don't want any AL in the house. Tell him you've quit and so should he. Tough love, that's what he needs!

[Wine-no!]

Quitting for my husband

Sorry to hear your husband is ill.
I agree that tough love is in order. Hopefully, the doctors will have already had a strong talk to him about the dangers of drinking so when you say you have quit to support him quitting that will be what he needs but if he hesitates, I think you need to point out just how dangerous his condition can be if he drinks again... Maybe get some facts from the Internet to back you up.

[Myluck]

Quitting for my husband

Thank you everybody, we are doing strong. Yesterday we went for a check up and the doctor said no drinking period, not a beer , nothing , ever. This was a music to my ears, but he seems to get sad and depressed.

[Myluck]

Quitting for my husband

So just spoke with my husband. He said that it is not for sure that his pancreatitis was caused by drinking. Seriously??? After going through a bottle of vodka with handle (big one) every 2-3 days? Drinking every day for months? Are you kidding me??? How can I help him to stop this denial?

[Samstone]

Quitting for my husband

MyLuck
Who knows what caused it but one thing I know for sure, it is strongly advised that you don't drink AFTER you had a bout with it. That was what I hoped you might find in researching. Glad your doctor advised the same. My brother had 2 attacks, the second time he had not been drinking, it was very painful. It happened within a month of the first. So now he doesn't drink and his diet changed, pizza is out!