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    Hello everyone!

    :new: Hello everyone? it is very lovely to meet you all!!

    This is my first time on this site, you all sound so lovely, the common bond being we are "special people" with a "special problem", and a ?special struggle?.

    I have not drank for over 3 yrs, (when I went into Rehab) until however, of late. I have been struggling again over the last 4 months, largely through pressure like you say, "go on just have one, what's up with you?" type stuff.

    In fact sometimes now I just say, at your peril , go ahead mix me with white wine, I am an instant psycho....... usually makes people laugh, thing is they do not know that I am NOT joking!

    Now, I do not go out socially for that very reason, it is far too dangerous for me.

    Life is such a drinking culture these days, the vision being so cool to be drinking wine etc.... at the dinner parties, getting hammered on nights out etc.... no one knows how quickly alcohol grabs you, only YOU and I who have been there!!!!

    I have also tried new relationships, but every one of them has tried to lure me back to ?safely drinking alcohol?, because they drink and they cannot really appreciate life without it.

    I have to say not having a drink for over 3 yrs and then kidding myself I can drink in moderation is not the thing that we all dream that it would be!! You know, constantly thinking we are losing out someway on life because we cannot drink. Life is SO much better without it, I know... believe me.

    During my sobriety, I missed alcohol every day of those 3 yrs, but it is JUST as crap as it was back then ? in my darkest days, before I did Rehab. It is just the alcohol trap, luring me back into the web of self destruction.

    I was terrified during my time in Rehab, with other drink dependants like me, also heroine, coke, other many types of drug addicts too, prostitutes etc. I swore to myself I would never ever go back there.

    Alcohol will take everything good from our lives...it has started again clawing me back, already taking my self esteem away. My family too have abandoned me YET again. They hurt, I understand that, but so am I hurting, but they cannot see that.

    They have ignored the ?good? and pounce on the ?bad? NO slippage allowed for me!!! They are such perfect people. (Yeah right, for the grace of God, cast the first stone etc).

    Up to now, I have tried to keep my relapse a secret mainly, but I KNOW deep down I am only kidding myself. The old feelings of shame and extreme low self worth are there again every morning when I wake up. My promise to myself, I will only have a couple today, then none tomorrow. (Yeah right!!)

    I hope my experience of my relapse may help any other "special" people who may consider going back to the heartless sapping cruel evil drug Alcohol, which is so readily accepted by society, the LEGAL addictive drug. Believe me it is NO good at all.

    I would also like your opinions on the effectiveness of Campral. Does anyone out there really think that it works? I tried it when I came out of Rehab, I did not think that it helped me then, but I may try it again.

    I was also taking Antabuse for quite a while...to me though that is ENFORCED sobriety, not self-will and common sense, I would appreciate your thoughts on this please too.

    I am really pleased to have found this site, to find you all.

    I am sincerely looking forward to chatting with you, hopefully to find mutual love and support. :welcome: into my heart.

    Love and hugs, xxx Julia xxx

    #2
    Hello everyone!

    Julia,

    I am running out the door for a work appt so this will be short and sweet-

    Just wanted to welcome you with your open arms. I can relate to your post in many ways. I look forward to getting to know you and glad you found us.

    Yes, Campral was a wonder drug for me and many others.

    xo

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      #3
      Hello everyone!

      Hi, wanted to welcome you too! I have not tried the prescription drugs, but have heard many have had success with Campral. I am taking the supplement and CD route. You are right though; we are special people with a common bond. Look forward to seeing more of you around here......:welcome:
      I'm really easy to get along with once people learn to worship me

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        #4
        Hello everyone!

        Hi Julie and welcome.

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          #5
          Hello everyone!

          Hi & :welcome:

          I haven't tried the campral either but lots of people here swear by it, I, like Lushy use the supps and cd's and I am doing OK at the minute.

          Read as much as you can here because we all use different parts of the problem to achieve what we want from it.

          Love & hugs, :h :l :h
          sigpicXXX

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            #6
            Hello everyone!

            Thank you

            Thank you, Im really lost how to retrieve messages etc, found yours by accident......... xxx

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              #7
              Hello everyone!

              Hi Julia, I hope you are doing okay right now. The advice about coming on the site and reading and posting is good as it definitely keeps your mind busy and it's good to know that there are people who can relate to you and above all care.

              I can't comment on any of the drugs as I'm trying to do this with the book, supps and CDs. So far so good.

              Glad you are here,

              Raoul xx

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                #8
                Hello everyone!

                julia i'm so glad you here. I am so with you with everything you say. my boyfriend is here right now, so I cant spend too much time. you got me goin over an over wot you said. its so tru with me. sob sob
                Sometimes the only way to stay sane is to go a little crazy

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                  #9
                  Hello everyone!

                  Welcome Julia!! This site is a lifesaver. I'm doing the supps, cd's, kudzu, l-glut. They are working great. It's not a magic fix, you have to want it and work it. Please get the book and give it a try. We're here for you..

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                    #10
                    Hello everyone!

                    julia, don't know all about this forum/chats either

                    I'll be glad to speak to you private tho! AIM is halterhos1, splashes@hughes.net is e-mail, I don't know how to navigate this all either, started today also as you know!
                    "Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending"

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                      #11
                      Hello everyone!

                      HI Julie, welcome, you will find everything you need right here. Read old posts and keep coming.

                      Lorna
                      Rather die standing, than live on my knees, begging Please..... No More.......

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                        #12
                        Hello everyone!

                        Hi

                        Hi Julia,
                        Many thanks for the direction to your 'thread' - sorry I missed it earlier. Guess I'm too selfish and caught up in myself, however I promise to fix that too.
                        Your fantastic and honest and open. Talk about courage and drive, you got it. Anyone who falls and gets up again - has it:goodjob: . Well done. And certainly your story is a lesson for me and I'm sure others as well.
                        I'm still learning about how to use the site but I can tell you its been a godsend.
                        Good luck and please keep in touch.:thanks:
                        Rowland.:h xx

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                          #13
                          Hello everyone!

                          Hi Rowland

                          Many thanks for your reply, I really appreciate your praise.

                          PRAISE for you too Rowland, keep at it.......... you are doing extremely well.

                          Good advice given to me ......... just plan each day 12 hrs at a time, dont think of your life as .... "gotta do without ANYTHING forever", small steps...... just do WITHOUT today, each day. Each day will get better, as YOU master drink and not IT you.

                          BUT, remember my words of warning, I have gone back, (Im no where as near to where I was before, doing really well now) there is no point in going back, do NOT be lured there, to live in drink is not to live fully at all, it escapism from something, try and find out what that is. Drink will certainly NOT cure it for you, only bury it for a short time.

                          It is more an achievement NOT to drink, that to just drink and give in.

                          To you and all who read this, we may fall back, we may become weak at times.

                          Inspiration is not in never falling, but in having the courage to keep getting back up, to try again.... and again if necessary.

                          Julia xxx

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                            #14
                            Hello everyone!

                            oh sounds like you are in much pain, but strong enough to face it and work with it.
                            good luck. it's not easy

                            trix
                            You can't turn a pickle into a cucumber

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                              #15
                              Hello everyone!

                              hi

                              Im not in pain so much, Im in fear

                              Fear of going back to where I was. Im am being honest, there is no easy way out ... it will be a constant struggle, but 1 step forward, sometimes 2 steps back, we gotta keep getting back up havent we? WALK TALL is my motto xx Julia xx

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