hi im new and am desperate for help

[juney]

hi
i hope to find some help on this site. im at the end of my tether and really need to kick this awful habit.

[SqueakyClean]

hi im new and am desperate for help

Welcome Juney! You will find all the support you need here. I only arrived a week ago and found a lot of encouragement in reading all the posts and testimonials that other people have written. We are not alone!
I'm online for the next 4 hours if you want to talk.

Hope you find what you need here
Squeaky x

[juney]

hi im new and am desperate for help

yes id love to thanks

[betty boop]

hi im new and am desperate for help

Hi Juney & :welcome:

This place is amazing, so many success stories, read as many of the posts as you can, there are many supportive people here xx

[SqueakyClean]

hi im new and am desperate for help

Did something happen to make you look for help? I needed a trigger and that was a few weeks ago for me. A really shaming drunken episode made me think about it. I realised that I was destroying myself and couldn't carry on like that any more.
Ring any bells?

[juney]

hi im new and am desperate for help

well i can go without drinking for days and weeks and then for no apparent reason i manage to get back on the slippery slope. my daughter has found bottles hidden away and she confronted me with them and is so worried about me. last night i dont even remember going to bed and i went at 7.30 apparently. i dont remember anything from 3pm yesterday. i just need to either cut right down or cut it out altogether.

[SqueakyClean]

hi im new and am desperate for help

The big question: cut it down or cut it out!!

Like you I can go without for a while, but when I do drink there is no stopping. So the only way for me to cut down if to not drink at all! My plan at the moment is to have nothing during the week and only drink at weekends. Once I have got the hang of that I'll work on drinking less in a session! And then I will work on not drinking alone....
I have learned that I cannot just have a couple of drinks.

Memory loss is getting to be a big problem for me too. I am finding that my last memory is earlier and earlier, even forgetting things that happened when I didn't seem to be drunk.
Terrifying.

Was your daughter angry or supportive? Or both? Can you talk to her about it do you think?

[juney]

hi im new and am desperate for help

My daughter was very angry about it and i promised her i would get help but she doesnt believe i will i dont think. Its so very hard and i do need to gain her respect and trust again. She knows all my hiding places now. The thing is i work away a lot all over the country and when im away i dont drink its only when im home and working locally that i do it.

[SqueakyClean]

hi im new and am desperate for help

Juney, it sounds like there is a lot of positive in what you just wrote. You are not out of control because you choose not to drink while you are away, maybe to protect your reputation at work, maybe because you can't get your hands on any? Either way, this is good.
When you are home you are comfortable to drink, or is it boredom/loneliness/self-pity? These are my cue to open a bottle.

This might sound daft, but I started to write a diary (strictly for my own eyes only) where I could thrash out how I feel about things and what I might do to change the things I don't like. Something about writing it down makes it more real, and you can skim back and see how far you have come. I did it when I stopped smoking (1 year ago, no problems) and I did it when I lost 4 stone (2 years ago, OK one stone has crept back on...), so I hope it will work for this too.

[juney]

hi im new and am desperate for help

i drink when i feel lonely or angry or upset. all of these things are triggers for me. i used to be a member of aa years ago and stopped drinking for 4 years so i know i can do it but i lost my dad 3 years ago and since then its gone from bad to worse gradually but i know i can do it if i really try hard enough but i need support to get through this

[SqueakyClean]

hi im new and am desperate for help

You have had a hard time, anybody would struggle with things like that. So you've taken control before but circumstances knocked you back again.
I don't like the idea of failing because it makes me want to give up. Small steps seem to be the best way for me, one extra day off or one less bottle in the recycling bin is an improvement.

You will get all the support you need just using these community pages. I have not gone onto the programme that this site is selling, I want to try and do it myself first, but if that doesn't work out then I'll consider it.

Supplements - I don't want to take any serious medications so I am on Kudzu (Holland & Barrett ?9.95 or thereabouts). Are you in the UK? I guess so, everybody else is asleep! Multivitamins and Korean Ginseng. I discovered the ginseng last year, it gives me a bit of a kick start and I feel much more "alive" with it. It's the only legal substance apart from alcohol that can do this! Multivitamins to make sure my brain has all the raw materials it uses to make all the happy transmitters it needs and keep me from the dark clouds of gloom!

You can get through this.

[juney]

hi im new and am desperate for help

yes im in the uk. so whats this kudzu then? have u ever tried the chat rooms? i went on before but no one seems to be around.

[SqueakyClean]

hi im new and am desperate for help

I've no idea what it is, but it seems to be helping. A plant extract that has been proven to reduce cravings for alcohol and then reduce the amount of alcohol taken in one go. Sounds too good to be true eh?!

The chat rooms are OK provided there aren't too many people or I get muddled! I can be there in 10 mins if you want to test it. Just trying to get the kitchen sorted and get the kids tea on before I put the kettle on...

[juney]

hi im new and am desperate for help

ok see u in 10 mins

[hereatlast]

hi im new and am desperate for help

hey guys dont forget good old milk thistle the livers freind