Hi guys -- I am, possibly, new here.
I've been struggling with alcohol for the last four years. I lost my ex to alcohol, as I cheated on him one night while drunk, he left me and I was devastated.
I am with a new man now, soon 10 months. He hates it when I am drunk, he does not like who I am. I have done things that he is not happy about. Heck, I don't even like who I become when I'm drunk. Every time he almost left me because of drunken behavior, I always promised to stop drinking, and I would go without for maybe a month then slowly it'll creep back into my life. He does not enforce it, in fact, he sometimes encourage it -- like, take me out on a date order us a bottle of wine. And I love it when we have just a couple of glasses, it usually is nice and goes well.
a couple of nights ago, I cheated on him while drunk while he was out of town on business and I was out with a couple of friends.... I have not told him, I don't think I will this time. But this has got to stop. I don't understand why I behave this way. Why do I so conveniently forget that I have a boyfriend and that I am NOT single and available to anyone?
The thing is -- I don't get drunk often. I don't consider myself alcoholic. I don't crave alcohol. But I TRULY ENJOY socially drinking, I absolutely cringe at the thought of being the only one not drinking -- especially with my boyfriend there. I want to be the "cool awesome girlfriend who can drink and control herself", but it seems impossible?
Even though -- bad situations like cheating or getting way emotionally out of control does not happen very often, like once or twice a year, they are often enough for me to destroy my relationship and I don't want that to happen.
I love my boyfriend. I am so wrecked with guilt and shame about what happened the other night, there were a couple other people involved -- they are all married too, if I confess, not only I lose my boyfriend - i am also potentially destroying their relationships as well. They are part of our circle of friends which is even worse because we will see them often. Is it really possible this can stay a secret?
Anyway -- I do want to take something from this, from what happened that night... I want to change. I do not want to continue to ruin my relationships because of alcohol, alcohol is not worth it.
Advice please! Thank you in advance
I've been struggling with alcohol for the last four years. I lost my ex to alcohol, as I cheated on him one night while drunk, he left me and I was devastated.
I am with a new man now, soon 10 months. He hates it when I am drunk, he does not like who I am. I have done things that he is not happy about. Heck, I don't even like who I become when I'm drunk. Every time he almost left me because of drunken behavior, I always promised to stop drinking, and I would go without for maybe a month then slowly it'll creep back into my life. He does not enforce it, in fact, he sometimes encourage it -- like, take me out on a date order us a bottle of wine. And I love it when we have just a couple of glasses, it usually is nice and goes well.
a couple of nights ago, I cheated on him while drunk while he was out of town on business and I was out with a couple of friends.... I have not told him, I don't think I will this time. But this has got to stop. I don't understand why I behave this way. Why do I so conveniently forget that I have a boyfriend and that I am NOT single and available to anyone?
The thing is -- I don't get drunk often. I don't consider myself alcoholic. I don't crave alcohol. But I TRULY ENJOY socially drinking, I absolutely cringe at the thought of being the only one not drinking -- especially with my boyfriend there. I want to be the "cool awesome girlfriend who can drink and control herself", but it seems impossible?
Even though -- bad situations like cheating or getting way emotionally out of control does not happen very often, like once or twice a year, they are often enough for me to destroy my relationship and I don't want that to happen.
I love my boyfriend. I am so wrecked with guilt and shame about what happened the other night, there were a couple other people involved -- they are all married too, if I confess, not only I lose my boyfriend - i am also potentially destroying their relationships as well. They are part of our circle of friends which is even worse because we will see them often. Is it really possible this can stay a secret?
Anyway -- I do want to take something from this, from what happened that night... I want to change. I do not want to continue to ruin my relationships because of alcohol, alcohol is not worth it.
Advice please! Thank you in advance
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