Day 30 thoughts and ramblings

[broken halo]

I am feeling good right now and I thought I'd share this for those who have set out on their AL free journey and have slipped.

I have worked this out, over the last 128 days I have been sober for 119 of those days. I keep at it, keep working on it. Yes, I had a major slip for six or so days when I went mental, but for those other 119 days, I have been sober. For me that is a major achievement.90 something days, great. But I had issues that I hadn't addressed, thoughts and feelings that I had pushed to the back of my head that I hadn't dealt with, but I told myself that didn't matter as long as I was sober.

I was wrong. Pushing them to the back of my head worked for a while, till it all came crashing down on me. That's just my experience. I had a lot of trauma over the past year surrounding my Mother's illness and death. I had grief, guilt, flashbacks, insomnia, nightmares, and ultimately, the binge to end all binges. Just being AL free didn't work for me in the end. Because I hadn't dealt with all of this.

But the good news is (and believe me, when I was on my knees after that last drinking session I never thought there would be any good news in my life ever again!) ... the good news is, I have been sober far more than I have been drunk over the last 123 days. And I have learned.

Don't ignore alarm bells. Sort your head out. Never, ever think you have this thing beat, and never give up.
30 days sober today, thanks to this place, AA, and recognising my own behaviours and doing my best to deal with them.

Not easy, but doable. One day at a time.

[Guitarista]

Day 30 thoughts and ramblings

Congratulations BH, and brilliant post. Thank you.

G bloke. :goodjob:

[Samstone]

Day 30 thoughts and ramblings

Way to go there BH! So glad you're doing well.

[FlyAway]

Day 30 thoughts and ramblings

Broken I truly think the challenge to getting sober is to learn to deal with life without the numbing agent. What you are doing is exactly right. You are on the path. You may not be perfect at all times, but you are getting to your destination bit by bit. Just keep on doing what you are and you will get there. Congratulations on 30 days and congrats for having 119 sober days in the last 128!

[Pinecone]

Day 30 thoughts and ramblings

Really nice post, BH. I'm glad you turned your back to drinking right away. You always bring a great perspective to your posts that I appreciate, so thanks for being here.

I agree with the part about the necessity of dealing with your issues. If we don't stick to our plan, and the plan is not rock solid, we could start to slide in a bad direction. The good news is that there are warnings, like you said.

Congratulations on your 30 days!

[Wine-no!]

Day 30 thoughts and ramblings

I'm so happy to see you back at 30 days again BH xx
Yes, you slipped but you didn't let it completely derail you xx

[paulywogg]

Day 30 thoughts and ramblings

Woo-hoo good job broken halo!

[Elvis]

Day 30 thoughts and ramblings

Good job broken halo. I didn't make it to 30 days this time, but I did make it to 27. And using your example, I was sober the last 83 of 104 days. One thing we do have in common is the 6 day slip. I'm glad you were able to stop at 6 days and I'm glad you have 30 days AF and counting!

Don't ignore alarm bells. Sort your head out. Never, ever think you have this thing beat, and never give up.

This is also what I have learned. I need be better at sharing my feelings and never be afraid to post here no matter what I need and where I am in my journey.

[I'm Strong and in Control]

Day 30 thoughts and ramblings

BH - thanks for leading the way. I'm following. . .

[scottish lass]

Day 30 thoughts and ramblings

Well done BH, I was on track with you for almost first two weeks - then went and skipped two days! Little bittersweet reading this as I have my next two weeks, but have to go another to get my 30 in! Well written post!

[MossRose]

Day 30 thoughts and ramblings

BH - congrats on 30 days!! Your post addresses one of the biggest obstacles to staying sober... having to deal with those strong emotions and difficult issues that we had numbed with AL. Good stuff. Thank you.

[istym4me]

Day 30 thoughts and ramblings

Good to read. That's a lot of sober days!

[Pavati]

Day 30 thoughts and ramblings

Thanks for your post, and good going, BH. Always good to focus on success. Keep it up!

[Lavande]

Day 30 thoughts and ramblings

Good for you BH :wd:

[sweetpea29]

Day 30 thoughts and ramblings

broken halo;1583731 wrote: I am feeling good right now and I thought I'd share this for those who have set out on their AL free journey and have slipped.

I have worked this out, over the last 128 days I have been sober for 119 of those days. I keep at it, keep working on it. Yes, I had a major slip for six or so days when I went mental, but for those other 119 days, I have been sober. For me that is a major achievement.90 something days, great. But I had issues that I hadn't addressed, thoughts and feelings that I had pushed to the back of my head that I hadn't dealt with, but I told myself that didn't matter as long as I was sober.

I was wrong. Pushing them to the back of my head worked for a while, till it all came crashing down on me. That's just my experience. I had a lot of trauma over the past year surrounding my Mother's illness and death. I had grief, guilt, flashbacks, insomnia, nightmares, and ultimately, the binge to end all binges. Just being AL free didn't work for me in the end. Because I hadn't dealt with all of this.

But the good news is (and believe me, when I was on my knees after that last drinking session I never thought there would be any good news in my life ever again!) ... the good news is, I have been sober far more than I have been drunk over the last 123 days. And I have learned.

Don't ignore alarm bells. Sort your head out. Never, ever think you have this thing beat, and never give up.
30 days sober today, thanks to this place, AA, and recognising my own behaviours and doing my best to deal with them.

Not easy, but doable. One day at a time.

Great work on 30 days BH :wd:

Thanks for your post. You really are an inspiration here xx