Dark Places

[sealover]

I am in a very dark place right now.I know this forum will save my life.

[MossRose]

Dark Places

Welcome Sealover. I am very glad you are here. MWO is a very safe and nurturing place to be. But I am concerned. What dark place do you find yourself in? How can we help?

[sealover]

Dark Places

I lost my ex father -in-law, my best friend , 11 days ago. I have not been sober for a minute since then. I have been having a "secret" drinking problem for a long time but I think he knew. Right now I am not functioning, I barely make it off the coach. My house is a disaster .....I need to quit this madness !

[Willow23]

Dark Places

Oh hon, I just want to give you a hug. You poor thing, I'm so sorry for your loss. Is there anyone you can talk to in real life? Or just talk to us here. Whereabouts in the world are you?

[Myluck]

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Sealover, big hugs for you! You can to the right place!!!

[sealover]

Dark Places

I have no one to talk to. I live in Virginia but come from Germany.I quit drugs and alcohol before -for over two years - so I know, I can do it. I just need to find a way to get wtout. of this hole.I am so sad and drinking makes it worse.

[Willow23]

Dark Places

You hit it smack on the head there Sealover - drinking makes it worse. Probably not what you want to hear right now and I'm sorry, but it's not going to bring him back. Sorry to be harsh. Can you talk to a doctor, maybe get some bereavement counselling? It's very early days so you're going to be upset, just take it easy on yourself. Keep posting here too, lots of support around x

[sealover]

Dark Places

Everthing here is done in groups- not for me! I need to detox and seek support here . I think he guided me to this site .

[istym4me]

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I am often left in this abyss. Some people turn to drugs and booze while others don't, but we all primarily have the same life experiences. There is death, it's part of life... what makes some of us go to heavier drinking while others, like myself, will avoid alcohol during certain crisis. It's a strange thing to contemplate.

Don't buy more drink. Start there. It's funny we are 'newbies' giving newbies advice.

[Willow23]

Dark Places

Yes, I don't think I'd like to start in groups either! Not face to face anyway.

Most, if not all will identify with what you've been going/gone through. Keep talking, we're here x

[Pavati]

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Hope you're ok, Sea Lover. I am a sea lover, too. Can you do what these lovely people suggest and stop buying the alcohol? Maybe start with every other drink being alcohol free? Taper off, get some sleep, eat something and then baby steps. I think it can be overwhelming to try to think about it all at once, if that makes sense. Newbie here, too, by the way.

[MossRose]

Dark Places

Sealover - I am sorry for your loss. I can hear that you are struggling with intense grief and my heart hurts for you. However, if you have been drinking for 11 days straight, then your poor body needs a rest. You will not honor him by drinking yourself to death. He wouldn't have wanted that. You even believe he guided you to this site, so let that strengthen your resolve. You can do this. So start with baby steps - pour the rest of the AL down the drain.

I know how scary that sounds, but it's the only way out of the darkness. We'll be standing by your side the entire time. xx

[sealover]

Dark Places

He used to take me to physical therapy- I had backsurgery- but that faitfull day I told him I was going by myself because I had a mammogram afterwards. He went to lunch with his wife instead and had the accident that would finally kill him. I feel so guilty .

[istym4me]

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Willow- how are you doing? I want to thank you for welcoming me. I am afraid I don't quite follow the threads yet, but am trying. I don't know if you have one going just for yourself or not.

Sealover, you did great even navigating to come here! I had a bit of a struggle doing it sober! lol Pat yourself on the back for that.

[MossRose]

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Have you tried to eat anything or get some sleep? AL is distorting your thoughts right now. Every sip just takes you further into the dark place. I understand that you feel guilty, but once you get sober, you may be able to process these emotions with a bit more clarity. Sealover, please stop harming yourself. It won't change anything. It will only cause more misery.