Denial vs. Reality

[retteacher]

My denial tells me:
-I'm not homeless living on the street.
-I've never been arrested.
-I've never lost my family, friends, home.
-I'm not that bad.
Reality tells me:
-I've had blackouts & hangovers.
-I've thrown up in front of other people.
-I've gotten drunk alone.
-I've driven my car under the influence.
Reality tells me I should stop. Denial tells me I'm not too bad off & can drink.

[stollies1]

Denial vs. Reality

Strangely enough, if you continue to drink out of control, the first 3 lines can come true.
Victoria

[ScoobyDoo]

Denial vs. Reality

I can sooo relate to that!

[mac]

Denial vs. Reality

Rings a lot of bells - functioning at a level but with a problem. Lots of stuff points to the possibility of the level droping and the problem increasing if not addressed, but easier said than done.. working on it.
mac

[Guest]

Denial vs. Reality

Straight Talking.

Hi all.

Completely identify with your `denial v reality` view of our `dependence`, retteacher. Think it`s only too easy to kid ourselves(denial), and muddle along as a functioning alcoholic, kidding ourselves that we`re not that bad. Truth is, I am that bad..........reality is that our dependence on alcohol is slowly but surely eating away at the quality of our lives.

Am on Day 1 abs(again!!!!!)

Just hope reality can keep me away from the booze, because I truly want to be able to live a life where alcohol is no longer an issue.................

Starlight Impress

[samadhi]

Denial vs. Reality

I can also relate to that! Well said - everyone. Sometimes I find myself watching shows like "Intervention" where the alcoholics are soooo bad that everything falls apart and they are drinking morning till night. After one of those episodes, I think - I'm not that bad, so I'm still OK. Total denial. I am hoping for the day that alcohol is a non issue as well. Wouldn't it be great if one day we could think of alcohol like we do apple juice, for example. Really never thinking about it, but if you happen to see some in the fridge one day, have a glass and then put the rest away. Some people dream of a big house or a vacation around the world - this would be my dream.

[retteacher]

Denial vs. Reality

Star: I'm only 1 day AF too. Let's try to string some days together. Keep it up: it's a new month, new start.

[Sunny AZ]

Denial vs. Reality

Always wondered what my life would look like if alcohol hadn't been keeping the lid on it for the past 35 years. It's been my constant sabatour, ah hem, I have been my consant sabatour. I know my life could have been so out of this world fabulous, but just when things would start whirling along I'd become afraid and use hooch to trip me up.

Day One AF and looking to build my spectacular life...better late than never.

sunny

[rottrod]

Denial vs. Reality

I can relate as well. I'm an accountant so some of my accountant nerd friends and I have this "joke" that Donald Trump is just one bad deal away from bankruptcy at all times. Ha Ha not that we really want that its' just that today so many people live life on the edge, safe is too boring.
As heavy drinkers, some of us are just one trip in the car away from hurting someone, one day calling in sick away from being fired, one more conversation with our spouse or children that's forgotten away from permanent damage to those relationships.
I choose to not take those chances anymore. I choose to do whatever it takes to get away from the edge I've been living on for so many years I can't even count.

I am glad to be here with folks who have faced the same reality and chosen to rise above.

Thanks for all of the honesty and support.

Melissa:thanks:

[zincityzen]

Denial vs. Reality

Yes, I can relate to all of that "I'm not that bad a drunk" as well. I've never been able to say "I'm an alcoholic" because I don't believe it. The times I've gone to AA meetings I felt, wow, I'll never be as bad as these people - getting arrested, smashing up cars, abusive relationships - not my scene. I think the same thing when I visit my sister who's not as bad as them either. No one in my family was headed for skid row, but BOY has our problem with booze made us a lot less happy. My sister is a worse drunk than I am, but at one time did drink about as much as I do now, so I know where I'm headed if I keep going and it's not pretty. I only visit her once a year because she's so obnoxious when she's drunk, and she almost always gets drunk, well, drunker than me (kettle ... pot ... black). Aside from family, how many beautiful days have I ruined with an evil hangover? TOO MANY. How many times is my memory fuzzy about what I said or did? TOO MANY. How often have I been VERY annoyed, defensive, or ashamed of how much I drank? TOO OFTEN. Waking up at 3 am happens more often than not, and its that 2nd, 3rd, and beyond glass of wine that's the culprit. Why on earth would a healthy woman like me prefer to have several glasses of wine rather than spend a romantic evening with her adorable husband? Because I just can't stop by sheer force of will. There's no presto-chango, but I'm grateful to have support and a program. Thanks all!

[Janice]

Denial vs. Reality

Denial - "I'm not THAT bad" I tell myself when the "voice" says "go on, have a drink, have another drink, you deserve it! You'll never be as bad as your mum, don't worry. She's an alcoholic."

My reality - Seeing the state she's in at 78 still going at the alcohol - very ill, confused, given up on life, bitter, sad and lonely - having put her family through hell over the years and finally having driven them all away when they love her so much and just wanted to help her. It's like I'm looking into the future. That's my reality and my motivation to kick this habit. I will not put my family through that. Janice

[Keepon!!!!]

Denial vs. Reality

Denial ' im alone, im bored, I have no money, its something to do everyone else drinks why not me!!!!!

Reality ' I have my son, i can find lots of things to do, not everyone has a problem with drinking so they can have a sociable drink.!!!!!!!!

But I dont deny to myself anymore or others I have not got a drink problem because when i do fall off the wagon I need help and people can not help you if they can not understand why you are in a state at that time. Be true and honest we are not bad people we are decent beautiful understanding clever people who have turned to the wrong source of help when we are down, and we are now fighting to eliminate that source ( alcohol ) and that in itself shows us that we are capable of anything that life throws at us !!!!!! Lets stay strong and do it for ourselfs the ones we love and each other!!!!

Luv you all Keepon!!!!:h

P.S Sorry dont know where that speech came from :H hope you agree

[Janice]

Denial vs. Reality

Back to Reality.

Following on from my post earlier this morning, mam has been taken into hospital again today - sickness and diarrhoea. Same old story. She's been drinking all her adult life but very heavily the last 11 years. She's 78 and has got severe kidney problems but still manages to drink 4 cans of strong beer a day. (She sends my disabled brother out to get it for her) Normally I'd be reaching for that glass too but I can't let this go on. I was feeling so motivated before that phone call but its the same old story and I'm here 400 miles away feeling useless. I see what it does to her and yet why do I still want that drink so much?

[Guest]

Denial vs. Reality

Reteach, I have lived by those exact words for so long. The old I am a good person. Denial my old pal. Reality my new friend, very well said!
Smiles
Mary