I think I reached my rock bottom on Friday.

[istym4me]

I think I reached my rock bottom on Friday.

Anxiety, any change, even a good one, can bring anxiety.

This sounds like quite a bit to be anxious about!

"I sort of don't know who I am anymore . I know that sounds terribly self indulgent and first world problemish, but if I'm not the unhappily married fat girl who drinks too much, who am I?"

Maybe, being part of a couple is too soon for you right now? It is so much pressure... you posted anxiety over that too. you seem to feel like either you can't trust him or that he has the upper hand somehow. This might be a part of your life to take one day at a time too?


How are you?

PS- this made me laugh, maybe it is not funny but I have an answer that made me really laugh out loud. I just don't know your sense of humor so will keep it for a bit until you post again and say you are fine etc... "if I'm not the unhappily married fat girl who drinks too much, who am I?"

[Jasperbob]

I think I reached my rock bottom on Friday.

hi Isty, I have a very robust sense of humour and am fine so please fire away with your response!

you made some insightful comments about the new relationship.

Every cloud...etc. This horrible episode has actually cleared the air and brought us closer together . I was able to express some of my fears and he reassured me . He is pretty wonderful!

five days on I am feeling much better than I did before my shameful drunken outburst.
I guess I had been bottling things up more than I thought.

onward and upwards towards sobriety and authenticity

[Today]

I think I reached my rock bottom on Friday.

I can relate

Jasperbob, its great when you can communicate and it definitely helps when you have a receptive and wonderful man.

I've been trying to quit drinking for years, but more so right this minute from shame. I had a drunken weekend that has somehow spilled into the work week. I have flexible vacation leave, and have been using this as an excuse to drink all day, starting this last couple mornings. Now I actually am sick and my wonderful boyfriend had to take care of me last night as I first was obnoxious and saying strange things (I don't remember), and later puking my guts out all night. I feel guilty about work, and about my boyfriend. As he kissed me goodbye on his way to work he said "I'll be really disappointed if I come home and you're wasted" OMG I can't believe I am the girl that he had to say that too.

I had 10 AF days before this, time to try again!!

[MossRose]

I think I reached my rock bottom on Friday.

JB - so nice to hear you sounding happy and hopeful again.He sounds like a great guy. Good for you! And congrats on 5 days!!

[Jasperbob]

I think I reached my rock bottom on Friday.

today , our experience is very similar - being obnoxious and saying strange things we don't remember .
I do hope and pray we learn from this