Six month check in

[MossRose]

Six month check in

Love, I'm not trying to scare you, but children see more than we think. I'm much older than you, and I am now reaping what I sowed. You still have time to make it right. That would make me happy. Take care and be very careful. It sounds like you need medical assistance to withdrawal.Please do it that way, okay? I want you to be safe.

[MossRose]

Six month check in

Sam, you said the magic words. Electric fiddle. Are you a Jean-Luc Ponty fan? I am. Loved his stuff back in the day. Still do.

[Loveless]

Six month check in

yes, i do really need medical assistance. i cant even stop shaking in the morning until i have that first couple drinks...I feel so ashamed of myself. My doctors appointment is in a week, it could not come soon enough I feel like ive truly hit bottom. but it can only go up from here. im not going to give up. i dont want my son to be ashamed of me.

[MossRose]

Six month check in

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xg35ZKH2Omw[/video]]Jean-Luc Ponty - Live in concert - No Absolute Time - YouTube

Amazing!

[j-vo]

Six month check in

MossRose, thanks for the honest post. My thoughts are with you, as I've gone the 6 months, let the beast creep back into my head and he got me at a weak time. I was in AA at the time, and just had had enough of something that wasn't working for me. I let go and he got me. I appreciate your thoughts, as I can completely relate. And I can relate to the "son" thing. I only have one and he's 16. He's seen way too much, and that's my biggest guilt. It's not losing all the time I lost from drinking, it's what he saw. Breaks my heart. You found the strength to beat this before, and you will do it again. You will for yourself, your sons, and your past experience of the peace and happiness you had without AL in your life. As far as anti-depressants, I've been on them for probably 15+ years. I've also been on anti-anxiety meds for quite some time. I've suffered from severe social anxiety most of my adult life. So my doctor prescribes me these meds for that condition. He's very careful with how much he prescribes, and I can happily say that I've decreased the amount I've needed to take since my last drink. So do what you need to do to get mind to a more balanced place. The anti-depressants ARE NOT addictive. They do take about 2-6 weeks to work. You'll need to be patient with them. That may be all you need. Most people feel such a relief after about two weeks on them. If I were your doc (hehe!) I would recommend the anti-depressants and wait on the anti-anxiety. Just my two cents, as my experience is kind of extensive in that particular area. I hope you feel better, MossRose!!

j-vo

[MossRose]

Six month check in

Love - no shame. You are trying to stop, right? That's all that counts now. You will make your son proud.

Thank you all. I'm am getting tired and signing off now. But I can never tell you thank you enough for keeping me company tonight. I am ok.

[Loveless]

Six month check in

Good night Moss! sweet dreams!

[NoSugar]

Six month check in

MossRose and Available - two of my fave MWO ladies! Glad you're both ready to get back with the program -- but what is your program? It sounds like you both want to be 100% AF (good call IMHO ) and although you've had some good long AF stretches, you've got to have some tools in place to use when something happens that makes you think you need a drink. You don't want any more interruptions, right? I've probably bored people to tears with my ideas about this by now so I'll spare you but you do need to have something new in place that you can use almost without thinking - or a commitment to really implement the plan that you didn't quite follow last time. Don't forget about the Toolbox if you need some ideas - different things will pop out at you now than when you first joined MWO.

You're lucky to be at a similar point together- you could be each other's "one". And, if you're concerned about anonymity, who better to trust with all your hopes, fears, regrets, and embarrassments than a friend who lives on the other side of the world :H?

I'm looking forward to seeing you guys get this done - let me know if there's anything I could do to help :l.

[little beagle]

Six month check in

I ditto no sugar. Very good advice.

[available]

Six month check in

Thanks NS and much appreciated. I am at the end of my tether and I know AL is not the answer so i am off to the drs today. I need to be back on my anti depressants and i need to reduce the stress in my life. God i feel awful today and i dont want that feeling again ever. Will keep checking in here and keep to sticking AF. Its always lovely to have a Day 1 person to go on the journey with and i love a competition.

[Pavati]

Six month check in

Moss and Available - Sorry for your struggles. You, too, Lovely.

Here I am on day 17 reading your post. Although I can't give you advice on my long term abstinence (maybe soon!), I can say that what stood out to me in your post was your being upset that you upset us. I have spent a great deal of the last two years trying to get myself out of the habit of constantly worrying about what others think of me, wondering how I can be liked by everyone, trying to please people. Heck, I can even use that as an excuse to keep drinking as I am so many people's drinking buddy and I don't want to disappoint them. It has been so freeing to learn to believe (after just playing like I believed) that I cannot control the way someone else thinks or feels. I can control my behavior and my reaction to others, but I can't control them. What a relief, seriously. I can quit trying to have others do what I want them to and start focusing on myself.

The other advice that I read around here is to be nice to yourself - treat yourself as you would your own child. If your child made a mistake, he or she would face consequences, for sure, but you wouldn't go around berating him for being a bad person. You would help him analyze what led to the bad choice to begin with, and help him avoid repeating the same mistake. But you would do so with love and understanding.

Anyway - my 5 minutes of arm chair psychology. I am glad you are in this together. Next time you feel yourselves slipping read the first posts of this thread and remember how you felt. It can only get better!

[available]

Six month check in

Thanks for the wise words Pav, I have been to the drs and gotten back on my meds which is good as i know i need them. Went to the shops and bought some ice tea. I dont feel or want a drink, I am over the cycle of drinking. I need to make me a number one priority in all the crap happening here at the moment. So here i am hidden in my bedroom ignoring my mother and her vicious mouth and just spending time with MWO and me. Time to be nice to me.

[broken halo]

Six month check in

MossRose, I loved the honesty in your post. Remember AL is a depressant. I can so relate to the feelings you expressed in your original post, but the more AL free time I get behind me the less anxious and depressed I feel. That is just my experience, if meds are right for you then go for it. But I'd give it a few days at least to see if things get any better. I am also terrified of pills, for the same reason as yourself! I wish you well, just keep trying and learning from your mistakes. As long as we are doing that and not giving up on giving up! :l

Available, when does your mother leave? The wedding and your mother's visit have put you under a lot of pressure, I hope now that you are back on your meds you will find some relief from that.

I appreciate the honesty of the thoughts posted here, and also the determination to sort things out for yourselves. Have a fresh look at the toolbox, and explore every option that you can add to your own ammunition against AL.

Accepting that that one or two glasses of wine is never going to be enough for me was very hard to do, but once I accepted it and processed it, I knew what I had to do.

Hugs and strength to you both on your journey :l

[available]

Six month check in

BH thank you. I know that one or two glasses is not doable. That is why i am back here and so glad Moss posted her thread and to know i am not the only one going through starting again. I have not asked her when she is leaving and she wont say as she is not talking to any of us. It is her childish behaviour that she does this. All I know is that i need to focus on me and getting back to where i was being AF.

You have done so well BH as i have followed your journey and struggles and proud of you that you have achieved so much. I will get there as Moss will also and Lovely also. Just the support on here makes the world of difference.

[available]

Six month check in

Molly like you i have started many times and i really want a "thats it" time. God no AL gives nothing except a hangover and feelings of being miserable and stuck.

I love my mother totally but she just wont budge or give an inch and yes a month is more than enough time to spend together. Her problem is she cant communicate unless she is hysterically screaming to get her point across. I cannot change her attitude but I can move on and get myself healthy.