Newbies in need May day 2

[aduggan]

Newbies in need May day 2

There you go, that is all the reason you need retteacher. How sad they would be. I know the reason my mum didnt tell anyone was because she had lung cancer and she believed it was her own fault because she smoked, maybe it was, but I wish she had told us so we could have tried to help her. You have time to turn your life around and be there for your kids. I miss her so much, she died just one month before the birth of my sisters first baby. What a loss, what a waste.

I know you can make it to weekend, and if you think about it this way if you don't drink during the week , you will be only putting in 2/7th of the normal amount of alcohol and looking after yourself on the other days, that has to be a good start.

[zincityzen]

Newbies in need May day 2

So sorry to hear about your mom aduggan - and good for you staying AF while cleaning out her things. I had been AF 3+ years when my father died and that was what made me say to hell with it, this is stupid, I've missed out ... so now 11 years later this is 3 days AF for me (though I did blow my "diet" by polishing off the Haagend Daz so it wouldn't be there once I start my "diet" for real!). I was very tired driving home from work, Tuesday is my Friday, daydreaming about how ordinarily I'd have a big glass of wine (I'd earned it), maybe, well almost certainly more than one glass, and then having my sleep ruined, feeling foul on my day off, nursing a weak or vile hangover on another beautiful sunny day. So now I'm awake from an undisturbed sleep, not exactly bouncing around yet, but I know my sleep was indeed restorative. So happy to be here.

[retteacher]

Newbies in need May day 2

Everyone:

I've been finding myself logging on between chores & at odd times. I need the support. Love you all.

[Sunny AZ]

Newbies in need May day 2

Day ONE AF here...got the sups and CD's in the mail last night, but not before I polished off what was left of the vodka and tequilla, hated having to toss it down the drain somehow. Still waiting for the Topa (ordered it over a week ago), but am seeing a Dr. on Monday so hopefully she will write a script if i don't have it by then.

Struggling with an ugly bout of depression along with/because of the addiction. Didn't go to work yesterday, skipped two (maybe three)days last week. Just fingernailing it until I can ramp up the entire program. Started sups last night and listened to all the CD's.

Sure good to have a group of people going through the same thing...been lurking on this site and reading all posts for over a week. Amazing love and talent for turn of word here.

Stay strong,

In Gratitude...

sunny

[Released]

Newbies in need May day 2

Day 16 for me. Unbelievable... it's been a LONG time since I've been able to say that! I hope everyone has a great day!

[imatree]

Newbies in need May day 2

Good morning,
Well, yesterday I said that May 1 would be my first day AF... but, well, it didn't work out that way. Not beating myself up too much about that. I am confident that today is DAY ONE for sure.

Last night - after drinking a bottle of wine and a few beers - I had a dream that some doctors told me I had cancer that was a direct result of my drinking, and that I had about 30 days to live. Then the dream went on as I carried on with my last 30 days of life... I dreamt telling close friends, worrying about upsetting people too much, somebody told me I had to see a lawyer to make sure my affairs were in order... finally, in the dream, I realized OH MY GOD I AM GOING TO DIE - AND ITS BECAUSE I DID NOT QUIT DRINKING.

That's sobering eh? The health impact didn't much matter to me in years past - I wanted to quit for various other reasons. But I think it is about the biggest motivator for me now. I am slowly committing suicide, as I continue drinking. Not just the damage of the alcohol, but indirectly too - I continue to gain weight, not good for my heart; I'm too lazy to exercize, not good all the way around; etc etc.

I'm here. I want to live long and well. For my daughter, my partner, and for ME.
No drink is worth wasting this life and torturing this body.

Love to you all. I feel blessed to be here with you.
Sue

[Sunny AZ]

Newbies in need May day 2

imatree, hang tough. This is day one for me too and what you posted rings so true for me as well. I'm soooo sick and tired of being sick and tired, and literally killing myself slowly with this stuff.

I want to be healthy, I want to be whole, I want to be happy, I want to be successful (however I choose to define success). I know I can't have any of those things if I continue to tip the voddy...period end of story.

I am determined to get free from this prison, and I think I've found the right place and the right program. From my fingertips to Gods ears.

In love and gratitude,

sunny

[Sante]

Newbies in need May day 2

Hi. I'm new to posting and this is a great thread.

Today is Day One for me, too, and I'm really relating to everything that's being said. I want to be healthy, and free from the witch I become when I'm drinking. I hate the way I feel the next morning. All the remorse and self-loathing, plus all the time I waste at night, hiding out and getting drunk.

Retteach, I really appreciate your honesty. As I say, today is Day One for me...and I haven't had an AF day for months and months!

Wish me luck tonight when the "witching hours" come around.

[aduggan]

Newbies in need May day 2

Sante, Sunny and Sue. Good luck to all of you. Like you said Sue it is a slow killer poison inside, I am really looking forward to feeling so much better when it is all out of my system. We can do it together.

[eg]

Newbies in need May day 2

Hi all. I'm in the same boat. I was sure yesterday was going to be day 1. I was so sure, but I drank beer last nite but not as much as usual. Today is day 1 for me. I also have fear of getting cancer. I'm also trying to quit smoking. My mother died of lung cancer, it was not pretty. I want to change. I want to be healthy and live long and be in control of my life. I really want this to work. I've tried everything else. I'm 52 and I'm so tierd of struggling with this problem.

[Sunny AZ]

Newbies in need May day 2

Oh guys, I am sooo determined to kick this monkey this time! To breath the free air and have clarity of thought.

May we all succeed together.

hugs

sunny

[imatree]

Newbies in need May day 2

My older brother died of liver disease a couple years ago. He was a daily beer drinker, from dawn to dusk most days, for many years. He loved his beer! But it cut his life way too short... he was 56.

eg - I smoke too, lots when I'm drinking, so I'm much looking forward to letting go of the cigs as I'm sober. (It was raining like crazy over here in Western WA, now the sun is out... crazy spring weather)

[toughintexas]

Newbies in need May day 2

Hey guys, I going to go AF today, so it'll be my first day....I'm scared, but hopeful....and determined, just sick and tired of being sick and tired of drinking too much....tired of feeling like a failure too....I just want to do what lots of others have said, just be free of having to think about it all the time....and having it "control" me....I'm starting today, so everyone pray and I'll do the same!

[retteacher]

Newbies in need May day 2

Released: What a wonderful accomplishment. Do you have any obssessive thinking about alcohol?

[bird]

Newbies in need May day 2

I worry about getting cancer too or having a heart attack. This morning heartburn woke me up and I hadnt drank the night before.I worry about dying in my sleep and my kids waking up to that.Seems like all this stuff would make it easier but I had a tough time getting through today. Had to force myself to excersice after work to keep from going to the store.I'm really worried about tomorrow since its payday and I need to shop.I'll try to think of a way to go later than my usual time. bird