Wow dragging up an old thread again but it still brings back the memories of what it was like being a drinker. I sounded tired of it all and i surely was. How my life has changed in 2+ years, how much for the better in all aspects.
I have read my "now knows" and the "i have's" and they still apply today although now even more so. Reading back i can feel a sense of determination and grit and some bullsh*t thrown in to make me believe this is what i wanted and how i felt. Or is it how i felt all along but now only really realise it? Fake it till we make it.
Oh the firsts, now such planning that trip to Thailand entailed. I look back and know that if i had not planned that trip i would have failed. Al was everywhere and i was so scared of failing, terrified of coming back on here after all the help i had received but i didnt fail and that built me up for the other firsts to come along.
Wow i sounded so sure at 200+ days and it made me smile to have a read of how i felt back then. So much has happened in the last 800 days that a reminder of the first 200 is just what i needed, to realise that i have done all of these 1000 days and its not a dream.
The 500 day countdown began on my last post, such determination and dedication lol.
In the past 500 days my dearest friend has died, i dont have much contact with my mother and i have started a drug and al course and found a man who i am ready to form a relationship with in the distant future. As i have come to realise day by day is all i can do, there is no rush, there is no dancing girls or street parades though i am still hoping. I do know i will never drink again, my life is way to precious to waste it on al.
1000 days and off to listen to Avicci. I still feel so sorry for that DJ who i crucified drunk!
I have read my "now knows" and the "i have's" and they still apply today although now even more so. Reading back i can feel a sense of determination and grit and some bullsh*t thrown in to make me believe this is what i wanted and how i felt. Or is it how i felt all along but now only really realise it? Fake it till we make it.
Oh the firsts, now such planning that trip to Thailand entailed. I look back and know that if i had not planned that trip i would have failed. Al was everywhere and i was so scared of failing, terrified of coming back on here after all the help i had received but i didnt fail and that built me up for the other firsts to come along.
Wow i sounded so sure at 200+ days and it made me smile to have a read of how i felt back then. So much has happened in the last 800 days that a reminder of the first 200 is just what i needed, to realise that i have done all of these 1000 days and its not a dream.
The 500 day countdown began on my last post, such determination and dedication lol.
In the past 500 days my dearest friend has died, i dont have much contact with my mother and i have started a drug and al course and found a man who i am ready to form a relationship with in the distant future. As i have come to realise day by day is all i can do, there is no rush, there is no dancing girls or street parades though i am still hoping. I do know i will never drink again, my life is way to precious to waste it on al.
1000 days and off to listen to Avicci. I still feel so sorry for that DJ who i crucified drunk!
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