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    #16
    An update

    Softly and Clockwork - thats one reason why I decided to just give up. Moderation didn't work for me and what's more - it was pointless and no fun. One or two glasses of wine (and thats poured as a 'standard' drink measure) did nothing. Except a desire to drink more. Especially with wine that tasted good at the time.

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      #17
      An update

      Hi Patrice,
      Thanks for starting this thead. Find myself in a similar place, although I've not had as long an AF stint as you but much better than when I first came here. I guess I've been trying to 'control' my drinking but slipped big time last night and drank 2 bottles of wine. Have the hangover from hell and feel totally sh***. Been in bed all day - what a waste. It was a reward for having a great day yesterday, doh! Some reward! Two years since I came here and been fannying about all that time! It's time I faced the reality. Day one again!!!
      You were born with wings, why prefer to crawl through life? Rumi

      :lilangel:

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        #18
        An update

        It's funny how we "reward" ourselves with something that makes us feel so horrible, isn't it?

        Congratulations on day 1 Freefly! Remember how horrible you felt next time you have the urge to drink. and say "is it really worth it?"
        "Your body is a temple, but keep the spirits on the outside."
        :wings:
        Sanity: "Minds are like parachutes...Just because you lost yours doesnt mean you can borrow mine."

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          #19
          An update

          Patrice, welcome back!
          From my own experience AND hanging out here religiously for nearly 4 years, I don't see moderation working for anyone. Remember, even on this site it is advocated using the high powered meds (and all THEIR side effects). Even then I question the results. The truth is that once you do get some distance you can see that AL is something you can just live without. WE sure can't live with it.
          I'm glad you are back! I'll look for you on the boards! Byrdie
          All you gotta do, is get thru this day. AF 1/20/2011
          Tool Box
          Newbie's Nest

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            #20
            An update

            Thank you and well done to you too Clockwork. You've pinpointed my problem, I forget! I don't want to forget anymore because this feeling is soo horrible :upset: Looking forward to tomorrow.
            You were born with wings, why prefer to crawl through life? Rumi

            :lilangel:

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              #21
              An update

              Patrice I know how easy it is to end up right back where you were. I have done that. Rinse and repeat.
              No matter how far you go or how fast you run, you can't get away from yourself. ....said at an AA meeting. It stuck with me.

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                #22
                An update

                Hi Patrice,
                Exercising and eating right is a great plan! That's what's next for me in this journey. I haven't really thought much about it, although I've been focusing on the threads here. I think it's time to make my next goal. Funny, how we know what we need to do. It's just doing it!
                Sometimes what you're most afraid of doing is the very thing that will set you free.

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                  #23
                  An update

                  Hi FF - welcome back to you as well.
                  Softy - very well said, this is a good reminder.
                  Hi dear TT - good to see you as well - I am keeping an eye on teh daily Abs thread and will be checking in every so often...
                  “The only courage you will ever need is the courage to live the life you want"

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                    #24
                    An update

                    Hi Patrice,

                    Nice to see you back and i applaud you for your honesty, because it's not always easy. Whilst some people are able to moderate, it's not always possible and it sounds like you have reached your limit again, and most importantly, are abe to recognise it and pull back.

                    I whole-heartedly believe this is just a glitch in your journey of sobriety. I wonder what was going on when you felt slightly depressed and started drinking again? I was thinking earlier today that all people go through periods of light and shade and it's developing the skills to get through the dark moments that is useful! Sometimes you've gotta close your eyes, take a few deep breathes and keep moving forward. Sometimes all you need is a hug and to know that people care! :egad::good:
                    One day at a time.. Sometimes it's one minute or one second at a time.. Most important thing is to look ahead and don't look back!

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                      #25
                      An update

                      Welcome back Patrice!!! OMG you are so right to go back to be AF - I am not sure who can moderate - it seems to be so impossible. I wonder who EVER - EVER was able to moderate??? I am looking at people when we eat out - we drink water of course - I watch people next table and wonder - will they stop after those 2 glasses? Will they have more at home? I am mad at them if they can, and mad at myself - because seems I am made of different stuff - I am NOT able to moderate. Why, why, why?
                      AF since 10/20/2013
                      Smoke free since 09/24/2007
                      Meat free since 09/20/2008
                      ---------------------------------------
                      With will one can do anything - Samuel Smiles

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                        #26
                        An update

                        welcome back Patrice! Exercise has been a huge help to me. The gym is a great stress reliever and a good session makes you feel good inside and out. It's nice to see you here, and moderation doesn't work for me either. Anytime I tried I just obsessed about it. Too much like hard work! Welcome back, keep us posted!
                        Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it! ~ Goethe

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                          #27
                          An update

                          Thank you all for the welcome and welcome backs!!
                          RE the exercise... I was supposed to start today but didn't.. I feel like I have a mental block ...
                          Is it better to exercise before work or after?
                          x

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                            #28
                            An update

                            Welcome back Patrice! I wholeheartedly agree with the others..."moderation" is too damn much work. Trying to plan out your portions, pace yourself, fret and worry when you're geting to your last one...ugh...it's so much easier NOT to drink. Drinking and cleaning up the messes from it became a full time job for me. Now that I don't do it anymore, I have lots of free time to think about and do other things. I have exercised both before and after work...I enjoyed doing it AFTER because I had much more time. Plus getting up at 4:30am is no picnic. LOL

                            Hang in there, you can do this!
                            :heart:I love my daughter more than alcohol:heart:

                            Believe in yourself. You are stronger than you think.

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