Newbies in need May day 6

[Janice]

Newbies in need May day 6

Hi everyone, Day 7 AF for me today. Coming up to the hardest part of the day though!! I can't remember when I've had so much energy - went swimming this morning and did 30 lengths, washed hubby's car - and polished it! Did some gardening, prepared dinner and made an apple crumble - I haven't done that much in one day for a long time. It's made me wonder what I've been doing with my time - well I know that actually! Good luck to everyone aiming for an AF day! I've found that when I do have a 'pull' logging on here is a big help. Janice

[Niblet]

Newbies in need May day 6

Good On You !!!! Enjoy that proud feeling because you SO deserve it !!!

[Sante]

Newbies in need May day 6

Hi Janice and PeggySue,

Today is my first day (again) of AF. I, too, have drunk for over 30 years, but known I had a problem for most of them. I just haven't been able to motivate myself to change. But, now, I hope I can...

I, too, know I have wasted tons and tons of time and energy drinking, dealing with hangovers, feeling remorseful. I know I have sacrificed close relationships, meaningful involvement in the church and volunteer activities, and -- well -- just being a happier person.

I really, really want to change and know that I am the only one who can do it. I really get inspiration from folks like you and from long-time drinkers who have found a "way out".

Thanks for letting me post and share.

[PeggySue]

Newbies in need May day 6

Sante,
Hang in there. We all have the first AF day. I can't count how many of them I have had. Isn't it amazing that we have survived over these 30 years to function ... but you hit the key when you wrote "being a happier person". I think that is what makes me so angry about alcohol. It robs our ability to be really happy.

I don't know if I have found a "way out" but I pray so. I am just trying anything, anything, to do better. We are getting older, and have spent too many years waking up every damn morning being remorseful. We've gotta getta grip, right?? It's not just My Way Out, it's OUR Way Out!! Sometimes I think, oh well, I've passed the point of no return, I may as well drink the rest of my life. Then I hold on to how good I have felt these last four weeks and I think, wow, I could maybe live another 25 years and live them sober??? But I hate the term "sober"... it makes me think of the "AA" group. I had rather just think of the term of living another 25 years making the "choice" that I don't WANT to drink as a part of my lifestyle. That sounds so much better to me than "sober vs drunk or drinking or whatever".

I am so glad I am not Amanda living in France, the land of wine:-)
Peg

[PeggySue]

Newbies in need May day 6

Amanda,
You know I mean if I lived in France with wine around I would be in BIG trouble!:H

[PeggySue]

Newbies in need May day 6

:goodjob: Janice,
Good for you on day 7! Isn't it a great feeling? Congrats!

[Sante]

Newbies in need May day 6

PeggySue,
Thanks. I also think I just want to be done with thinking about this so much. It becomes an obsession and soaks up so much of my energy. Years and years ago I was in AA and I'm sure that is one reason I dropped out: I just couldn't imagine myself living that way on and on. I know I have to make big lifestyle changes now and I think I am prepared to do that. I just hope the resolve doesn't waver. Like you, I am sure that if I got some time AF under my belt, it would go along way to strengthening me to keep on. Anyway...Day One goes on.

[Janice]

Newbies in need May day 6

Thanks PeggySue - its not easy though is it? Like you, I love wine and was drinking a litre a day, probably more. I just knew I couldn't keep going on like I was without serious medical problems looming ahead - my mam is an alcoholic and is very ill so I know whats in store if I keep going like I have been. Sante, I was also worried because I've just changed my working hours and only work mornings coming home at midday - I knew I'd be drinking even earlier than before if I didn't do something. I was getting into the habit of coming home mid-afternoon and starting. I am ashamed to say I sometimes got in the car to collect my daughter from the station later in the afternoon. How bad is that. I think everyone on here is doing amazing, your strength is whats giving me the motivation and knowing you are all dealing with the same feelings - I just feel, at last someone understands and is going through the same thing. I feel as if I lost my mam some time ago, as if I've done my grieving for her already. She doesn't know anything about my drinking - our relationship has almost broken down - she's just driven everyone away. I don't want my own kids to see me like that. Now is the time. If there's a "funny" side to this - 2 weeks ago we were going out for a walk on the Sunday evening and I'd been drinking since early afternoon. I opened my wardrobe doors to get my shoes and banged my forehead. Never felt a thing but when I went downstairs my kids and husband went "what have you done!!!!!" There was this big "egg" on my forehead and I hadn't even felt it!! It stayed all week and turned some lovely colours I can tell you!!!! Thats alcohol for you. Anyway keep strong all you lovely people aiming for your AF1 - you can do it!!!! Janice

[julie001]

Newbies in need May day 6

Hi everyone. Starting day 2 AF. Last month I had 17 days AF. Only once or twice did I manage to string three days AF together, but at least I was AF more than not. My problem with drinking wine is more of an at-home issue. I can moderate better when I am in public than I can when I am in the privacy of my own home. This past year I really became a social isolate because at home I could drink without moderating. In the past few months I have really really tried to change my mindset about drinking. It's creating issues in my marriage, and I feel so tired and sad all of the time. My goal is to stop drinking alone (and eventually to stop thinking about drinking all of the time). I am pretty much a regular sized bottle of wine drinker. Funny how I could jusitfy that it was just one bottle of wine...Most people will only have one or two glasses. Not me. If I open a bottle of wine, I finish it. MYO and everyone here have been a tremendous support in my wanting to get a handle on my life and feel happier and more energetic. I wish all of you success in this process that we are all going through. Like all of you, I look forward to a life FREE of all of the problems that alcohol brings into our lives. Happy Sunday.

Julie

[Mags]

Newbies in need May day 6

Y'all are all doing a fabulous job

I used the word y'all which I only use for my best friends. I grew up down south (of the US) but am not terribly proud of that one.
There are so many success stories here that it is amazing! Aduggan on day 6, JunieDog on Day 7, StarlighImpress on Day 1. These are all success stories that will only get better. You all have to want it for yourself, not to please anyone else, though that can be a strong motivation. Family is always important - you never want to hurt them.
But this is a terribly personal struggle and you really have to do it within yourself. It can be a bit lonely sometimes. But it is always worth it. Health - be it physical or mental - is a wonderful thing. Let's all work to that together.
I am very optimistic for all you. You have found this site and it is definitely the best place to be.
:wd:

[Guest]

Newbies in need May day 6

I just can`t, but oh how I wish I could.........

Well guys, didn`t make it through my first night. Am half-way through my usual nightly btl of wine, and am full of self-loathing. I just simply hate myself for being sooooooooooooo weak........

Starlight Impress

[Guest]

Newbies in need May day 6

Hi more2life,
Thanks so much for your reply.

I have the commitment to not drink, but I just seem to lack the ability to see it through.........

How do I find the strength to `walk the walk, and not just talk the talk`???

Starlight Impress

[bird]

Newbies in need May day 6

Its o.k. Starlight.We're all just starting and up and down. Try again tomorrow and as many days as it takes. Bird

[Guest]

Newbies in need May day 6

Thanks bird,
Apart from feeling weak, I just feel so scared........drink has became my favourite/only pass-time..........

Starlight Impress