Its just to much like hard work trying to moderate

[poppy62]

I have been reading some very good posts about moderation which have really struck a cord with me. I have tried every which way to moderate, taken various meds and every time I have failed to moderate . In my expereince all the meds come with side effects and as somebody else on here wrote 'its just to much like hard work trying to moderate'. You live with a constant fear that you will get drunk or you full into a sense of false security that the meds have cured you addiction . This is just my experience, so for me the only conclusion is af. I want to be rid of the fear the pain the shame and agony of addiction. My goal is to live a fit healthy sober life. I know this is achievable as many others have done it and I am a strong able women who will make me proud of me . I also want my family and friends to be proud of me . I want my sons to know that I have had the courage to face my addiction and overcome it. I know it wont be easy as I have said a thousand times before ' that's it' and always fallen back into my old way but I am hoping and praying that this time I can find the resources required to achieve my goal !!. Thank you for reading this I would appreciate your replies as reading them gives me so much support and hope.

Poppy x

[Wine-no!]

Its just to much like hard work trying to moderate

Hi Poppy
I initially came to the site with the intention of moderation. Like you, I have realised it is just too much hard work and actually easier to just stay AF. I am on day 81 now and sometimes thoughts come in that I would be able to moderate but I know it's just my wine witch talking so I just dismiss it. I can confirm that it really is easier to cut out alcohol completely than live in constant temptation..
All the best x

[poppy62]

Its just to much like hard work trying to moderate

Thank you for those inspirational word wine-no. Well done on 81 days a real achieveemnt . I will also have a look at the book you have posted. Again thanks and keep up the good work people like yourself give me encouragement that I can achieve so much myself x

[NoSugar]

Its just to much like hard work trying to moderate

Hi, Poppy

The recommended limit for women is 5 ounces of wine a day. Who here wants that? Most of us did not drink for reasons other than to get buzzed or escape. Those things don't happen with moderation so the point in drinking, at least for me, is lost. It is easier and much less irritating not to drink at all. And once the decision is made, the chatter in your head is gone. Some call it MindPeace and it is better than any buzz I've ever had. I'm glad you are here!

[poppy62]

Its just to much like hard work trying to moderate

NoSugar thats what I love about this site other people put into words exactly how it feels as nobody in my day to day life has my al problem so dont quite get it ( they dont realise how lucky they are). I love the thought of MindPeace, not having the internal conversation in your head that attempting to mod gives you and the constant struggle to mod and majority of the time failing. Yesterday was a big decision day for me and I have been overwhelmed by the understanding and support I have recieved from family and friends since I ' outed ' myself best decision I have ever made trying to hid an al problem is blinking hard work in itself !!

[looking for peace]

Its just to much like hard work trying to moderate

All of you are absolutely right. I came here with the same intentions as you, Poppy and have had the same results. Really, I was able to stop at 1 or 2 drinks just a few times out of thousands and thousands. Not very good odds. I don't drink for the taste or any other reason than to get completely numbed out and that will never happen with just one. Rather than hope and pray that one day I may become a normal drinker, I have to just let go of that fantasy. For me it's just as big a fantasy as becoming the next Giselle Bunchen at the age of 52 and 5'2"!

[poppy62]

Its just to much like hard work trying to moderate

How very true lfp !! you have hit the nail on the head hoping to find a way to be a normal drinker is a fantasy !!! I am one off you in every way 51 and 5'1' !!! and lets be honest if you get to your 50's and havn't been able to be a normal drinker its never going to happen and a drunken middle aged women is not a good look in anybodies book. So with you all the way af my friend and gone with dreams wishies and fantasys, it af and reality all the way now xx

[Nelz]

Its just to much like hard work trying to moderate

Ill agree with your statement Poppy. Sure at first quitting is "work" but soon enough it becomes the habit.

I know of a handful that are able to Mod, but IMO most everyone on here should probably just put the poison down and live as you said.........a healthy sober life


I applaud your choice :goodjob:

[patrice]

Its just to much like hard work trying to moderate

Hey Poppy, only awhile ago I wrote a thread on my experience with moderation...it always starts out well but in the end.. groundhog day over and over
Nelz is spot on!!
Take care
Patrice

[aclassicgirl]

Its just to much like hard work trying to moderate

Moderating definitely hasn't worked for me. It's a vicious cycle and totally depressing. Simply kidding myself. :l

[poppy62]

Its just to much like hard work trying to moderate

All of this so very very true and it is really about mind set and mind piece hate the debate that trying to mod involves its so tiring and hard work . Going to sign myself up for some councilling and hypnotherapy will give anything to support my decision a go x

[Running4life]

Its just to much like hard work trying to moderate

Hi Folks
Really, 5 ounces a day sounds crazy to me. Thats how I know I am an alcoholic! Yes, we drink for the buzz. Just last night I told myself I could moderate. Got that one wrong! You are right, it is just too much work!
R4L

[halo]

Its just to much like hard work trying to moderate

poppy62;1594432 wrote: I know it wont be easy as I have said a thousand times before ' that's it' and always fallen back into my old way but I am hoping and praying that this time I can find the resources required to achieve my goal !!. Poppy x

Poppy before I found the MWO, I must have said "that's it" at least a thousand times as well! Your post resonated alot with me. I never thought I would be able to begin an AF life, but I did and it is a better life, which we all deserve! Very proud that you are making this step for you and your family. Wishing you the absolute best!:l

[Byrdlady]

Its just to much like hard work trying to moderate

Hey Poppy. You have made a great decision. The whole model of moderation is flawed. What happens after a couple drinks? We lose our judgment and inhibitions....have more drinks and all bets are off. Even on this site, moderation is advised with those high powered meds, and they come with wicked side effects. Plus the results are still questionable. Ive actually never seen anyone moderate successfully. Remember, success is 7 drinks per week for a female and 14 for men. I have never ever seen anyone stay within these guidelines. If you learn to read MOD Speak, it goes like this " i was able to keep within my guidelines all thru the weekend except Friday when i had only 6 beers and a tequila shot. Then I stopped on the way home and had a couple beers with a buddy of mine". "I exceeded my limit but Im not going to beat myself up about it." This isn't moderation, this is denial. If 99 people walk off a cliff and die, do you think I want to be next in line to jump? Moderating doesn't work but I totally get that we all have to find out for ourselves. I wish there were a way for us to convey this without everyone having to find it out the hard way. Its the addict's brain in us that makes us think we are that 1 person who can do it. I wish there were a way to show folks. I try to lead people to look back over the history of this site and see for themselves without having to hit rock bottom themselves.....but that seldom works. One day maybe i will find the right words to say. The pull of this drug is so strong its scary. The addicted brain cannot moderate. I just hope people can find that out sooner than later. Great thread!

[Pinecone]

Its just to much like hard work trying to moderate

Hi Poppy,

I really like this thread and it sounds like you have your head in the right spot on this topic. I was a long time "moderator" before coming to MWO. What I mean was I drank a ton, occasionally inhibited my intake (to prove that I was "moderating," of course), and then made up for it in style later on (have to reward myself for "good behaviour," don't I?).

Mind peace is real! You can have it and you deserve it. Cutting ties and never looking back is the best way. We know this in our hearts, that's why we came here in the first place. My addicted mind always wanted to be able to moderate. The real me always wanted to be free from the whole damn mess. Great thread!